Evangelion: All is Right With the World
by Renegade4
Summary: *TAKOBALLS PLUG!* After End of Evangelion, Shinji and Asuka face themselves, the truth and one another as they struggle to go on and find closure for themselves. Care has been taken to ensure character realism.
1. VOTE FOR REN IN THE TAKOBALLS!

Hey hey hey! As you may or may not know, the Takoballs are upon us.

The Takoballs are the Eva community's fiction awards, and is strikingly similar to the Darwin Awards in that it's pretty pointless but ultimately very cool with some spectacular winners.

Site's here: http:// takoballs. mahorosan. net.

Obviously, I want to snag a piece of the proverbial pie. So: vote Evangelion: All Is Right With The World for Best WAFF!

If you do you get a cookie, and you can shake my hand. If you don't I'll come around to your house and eat pizza on your couch while you're at work.

Cheers,

-Ren.


	2. The End

I don't own GAINAX or Evangelion. They own me. 

With that little admission out of the way, let's have a chat. Firstly, apologies to an author on this site: sprite. Sincerely and honestly, I am sorry for the title of this work – it is virtually the same as yours. I've had this floating around on my computer for a very long time now… and I feel as though I would be betraying something if I changed the title now. Please, I am truly sorry.

Evangelion: All is Right with the World incorporates the series and EoE fully – ie, I haven't messed with the storyline. Most of it takes place immediately after Third Impact. The real story starts two seconds after the movie finished.

That said, Chapter 01 IS A RETELLING OF END OF EVANGELION WITH A FEW PREVIOUSLY UNSEEN BITS. Skipping it will have no effect on the story. Think of it as a prologue, if you like.

Finally, I am a new fanfic author here, though I have been writing for a few years – mostly fantasy and sci-fi, I have some work on StrangeMinds.com and a few other places. I hope you like my story… I've always stubbornly believed, as Yui does, in a brutally simple philosophy: everything will be all right. I prefer the uplifting endings… don't you?

Take it easy,

RENEGADE

______________________________________________________________________________________

**** **ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD**

01. The End

Shinji Ikari, the fourteen year-old Third Child and pilot of Evangelion Unit-01, gazed at his shameful right hand. He could not bring himself to look at the face of the comatose girl in the hospital bed before him. He collapsed to his knees and bowed his head.

"I'm so fucked up."

*          *            *

In the wretched darkness of NERV's underbelly, a conversation was finishing.

"The fate of destruction is also the joy of rebirth!" thundered the voice of a SEELE member.

"Through the sacrament of death, humanity, God and all living beings will be united and reborn as one!" proclaimed a different SEELE hologram.

"Death creates _nothing_," hissed Gendo Ikari coldly.

"Your death," the hologram answered darkly, "will create an _opportunity_."

*          *            *

Merciless JSSDF special forces had overrun NERV headquarters intent on eliminating everyone in sight. As troops occupied tactical positions around the Geo Front, their commander ordered depth charges to be fired into the lake, where Evangelion Unit-02 was situated.

The shuddering impacts were felt even inside the reinforced entry plug. Curled up in a ball, waiting for the end because she had nothing else to live for, was the pilot: Asuka Langley Sohryu. Once she had been indomitable, invincible. And now she was nothing. She didn't know what Shinji saw in her.

The impacts had shaken her free from catatonia. Within the LCL that filled the plug Asuka's blood began to run cold. She felt so alone and afraid. She began to whisper a mantra.

"I don't want to die."

Her mother, through her death, had taught that to her.

"I don't want to die."

But she had forgotten it until now.

"I don't want to die."

She didn't want to stay here.

"I don't want to die."

But she was afraid of death.

"I don't want to die."

A presence…

"I don't want to die."

_You're still alive_

"I don't want to die."

_You can't die yet_

"I don't want to die."

_I won't let you die_

"I don't want to die."

_You mustn't die yet_

"I don't want to die!"

Thunder in her mind. Razor sharp images of terror.

"_I DON'T WANT TO DIE!_"

A blue light, a ghostly caress and the love of a spirit filled her soul.

"Mama?"

A hand reached out to grab the hand of a tiny child, alone and abandoned, a child with fiery red hair and azure blue eyes. With maternal love it grasped the outstretched hand, even as the small child became a fourteen-year-old girl with a proud heart and an indestructible spirit.

"Mama! You've been here all along?"

There was a smile… a smile that she could not see but felt in her heart.

"Mama! Now I understand!"

A blinding force of light exploded upwards, the manifestation of a joyful, vengeful spirit that burned into the eyes of the watching soldiers even as their hearts turned to ash. A battleship on the lake began to rise as Evangelion Unit-02, resplendent in its wrath raised the enemy ship above its head. Explosions thundered all over and around Asuka as her gaze fell on a heavily fortified area.

"Eat _this_!" Asuka flung the battleship like a child's toy. Not a single soldier in the area survived the massive detonation.

Asuka raised her eyes to the heavens as newly invigorated blood burned through her veins. "I understand now! The meaning of the AT Field!"

Like an avenging angel she leaped high into the sky as explosions blanketed the air around her.

"You were always protecting me! Always watching over me! We were always, _always _together, Mama!"

Missiles struck. Bombs landed. Soldiers in aircraft attacked and died as Unit-02 swatted them aside like flies. Asuka was alive. For the first time in a long time, she felt free.

"The cable! Focus all your firepower on the cable! Use whatever you've got!" screamed the JSSDF commander into his radio.

Asuka angrily stole a glance behind her as her umbilical cable severed and the power countdown began. She did not halt her vengeful advance into the JSSDF lines. Instead she turned to gaze down on the soldiers, narrowing her eyes. And grinned just like the old Asuka had done.

"Even without my umbilical cable attached…"

Missiles and bombs crashed off Unit-02 without even scratching the paint.

"I've still got twelve thousand plates of fortified armour!"

A squadron of aircraft moved up to target the head…

"And I've got my AT Field!" Asuka screamed in wrathful anger.

Such was her control that her AT Field twisted from an impenetrable force field into a terrible weapon. It shrieked through the sky and with a deafening chorus of destruction the entire squadron of aircraft descended to the ground as flaming wreckage.

Asuka turned her attention to the rest of the JSSDF and roared into action.

"_There's no way I can lose!_"

*          *            *

Rei Ayaname stood watching the floating remains of her clones.

"Rei."

She turned slowly at the voice that had controlled her existence from the moment she had been forced into this world.

"I knew I'd find you here."

She said nothing in reply, just stared at the man with her usual impassive gaze.

"The time has come," said Gendo Ikari. "Let's go."

*          *            *

"The Eva series?" murmured Asuka, gazing at the winged white Evangelions that circled lazily above her. "They've been completed…"

*          *            *

Frustrated and desperate, her bullet wound growing more and more agonizing with every passing moment, Misato Katsuragi pushed Shinji Ikari up against the wall of the elevator that would take them to Unit-01. She clutched his face close to hers with two bloody hands and gazed into his eyes. He stared back, afraid and heartbroken, utterly defeated.

"God knows, I'm not perfect either," she said bitterly. "I've made tons of stupid mistakes and later I regretted them. And I've done it over and over again, thousands of times, a cycle of hollow joy and vicious self-hatred. But even so, every time I learned something about myself."

Shocked, Shinji was gazing at her with his blue eyes. Over the course of their time together, Misato had come to love those eyes. This… was her son.

"Please, Shinji…" she pleaded with him as her voice became softer. "You've got to pilot Eva and settle this once and for all. For your own sake. Find out why you came here. Why you exist at all. Answer your own questions. And when you've found your answers… come back to me. I'll be waiting."

Shinji stared into the eyes of the woman who had been his guardian, his mother, his big sister and his best friend.

"Promise me," Misato whispered.

            How could he refuse her? Even through the heartbreak and the pain, through the tears and the horror, even through the sorrow and the loneliness that he felt, Shinji realised that although Misato Katsuragi hadn't always been with him when he needed her… he had not always been there when she needed him, either. But even so, they had gained more than either of them had ever hoped to gain by their interactions with the other. Though they had failed one another on occasion, neither of them had ever been alone.

"Yes…" he whispered.

Misato smiled peacefully, the answer she had expected. Reaching up, she undid the pendant that she kept around her neck - a white cross. Gently placing it in Shinji's palm, she pressed his fingers closed around it. She stroked Shinji's cheek.

"See you soon," she whispered.

*          *            *

Screaming with all her pent-up rage, Asuka Langley Sohryu massacred the Eva series. The fluids that passed as blood for an Eva ran in rivers and Asuka laughed grimly as she carved one of the enemy Evas through the torso, cleaving it in half.

"I cannot be defeated! Not with Mama watching over me!"

*          *            *

            Misato was dead. Shinji was ruined. But he had honoured her last command. He knew his mother was inside Unit-01 and she had sensed what had to be done, extending her arm to create a bridge across the Bakelite that filled the Cage. Shinji was now seated in the entry plug.

            He moved to the chute that would take him to the Geo Front.

*          *            *

She had won. Asuka had destroyed them all. But they had returned to life. And the heartless, soulless monstrosities had smiled at her before they swarmed over Unit-02 like buzzards.

Asuka did not admit defeat, even with the death of Evangelion Unit-02. Her fury and hatred fuelled her to continue even from the brink of violent death.

Clutching her remaining eye in one hand and reaching up with the other, she whispered her own mantra.

"I'll kill you… I'll kill you… I'll kill you…"

An incoming Eva spear sliced Unit-02's - _Asuka's _- arm in half.

In came the rest of the Eva series' spears. Unit-02's remains were impaled another eight times.

*          *            *

            The JSSDF commander's knees turned to jelly as the eerie ethereal tentacles extended from the blast crater. A hideous ghostly shrieking filled his ears and he almost relieved himself on the spot when the ghastly form appeared. Floating on celestial wings as dark winds whipped around it, the massive figure rose like an avenging demon of hell. Even from this distance the man could see the nightmarish mask it wore.

            "Evangelion Unit-01!" the commander gasped in terror.

            "It's the Devil himself!" shrieked a subordinate.

*          *            *

Shinji reached the Geo Front. His heart was steady and his mind was numb to everything but what Misato had said. He had nothing else to do but go on. It was too late to die now.

Piece by piece he took in everything.

Circling above him like vultures was the Eva mass-production series.

All around him was the devastated remains of what had once been a sanctuary for the human race.

And before him, slaughtered and dismembered, was the corpse of Evangelion Unit-02.__

He felt the blood drain from his face. He felt his pupils dilate. He felt the last vestiges of his strength flee from his soul.

Asuka, the girl who had refused his help, the girl who had resisted him all this time, the girl who insulted him every chance she got, the girl who, despite all this, Shinji wanted to be with forever, was dead.

Shinji screamed.

*          *            *

Glowing with a soft internal light, Rei Ayaname floated upwards towards the breast of the gigantic white figure crucified on the red cross.

"Rei! Please! I beg you!" Gendo Ikari, helpless for the first time in his life, sprawled on the walkway below her. He clutched the stump of his right arm. The body of Dr. Akagi floated in the LCL behind him.

"I can't. Ikari is calling me."

She floated upwards and for the first time in her three existences, Rei Ayaname felt at peace.

"I'm home."

_Welcome home_

*          *            *

The ghostly, serene figure of Lilith that held the strangely beautiful shape of Rei Ayaname rose up from the core of the world to cradle the Black Moon. This creature was both the genesis and the apocalypse of the human race. From Lilith we came, to Lilith we shall return.

*          *            *

In the NERV command center, the elderly Vice-Commander Kouzou Fuyutsuki gazed calmly, sadly, at the spectacle before him. In another world, in another life, he might have considered the ascension of Lilith to be a wondrous, beautiful moment. But now, he was just tired.

His three companions stared with a mixture of awe, terror and wonder. Hyuga Makoto sat slumped in his chair, shocked and afraid as he heard the thumping of his own heart in his ears. Maya Ibuki sat curled in a fetal position, whimpering, terrified to look at the surreal spectacle but unable to look away. And Shigeru Aoba sat stunned, his mouth hanging open, unable to comprehend what was happening.

These three had served NERV throughout the Angel attacks, Fuyutsuki mused. They had defended their erstwhile home when the murderous JSSDF invaded. He had told them everything - no point in hiding classified information now. The three operatives had the information, but whether they understood it… well, Fuyutsuki sighed, most likely it wouldn't matter.

On the screen, Evangelion Unit-01 rose higher and higher. The whimpering of Shinji Ikari was still audible. "I can't take it any more. I can't take it any more. I can't take it any more…"

Fuyutsuki felt pained. He truly regretted what was happening to Shinji. The poor child was utterly broken, mentally, physically and emotionally. Fuyutsuki was not a cruel man, but he had come too far with Gendo Ikari to turn back now. The Human Instrumentality Project was not something that he had undertaken lightly. He wasn't even sure if he agreed with it. _The only hope I can give you, Shinji_, Fuyutsuki thought sadly, _is that in a few minutes you will not feel any more pain. Forgive me._

"Twelve thousand feet and rising," came the neutral voice of a Magi announcement.

The Lance of Longinus, having newly returned from a lunar orbit, ceased its slow circumvention of the Eva, guiding itself towards its exposed core. It pierced the chest of Unit-01, and Fuyutsuki clenched his eyes shut for a moment as it instantly spread throughout the Eva's body like an infection, transforming it into a gigantic, cross like shape. Instantly Shinji's sobs faded into static. The thing that had taken over Unit-01's shape grew larger, longer, resembling the roots of a tree - which was not far from the truth. This was Sephiroth.

"The Fruit of Life is held by the Angels," Fuyutsuki told the others calmly, never taking his eyes from the haunting phenomenon. "The Fruit of Wisdom is held by man. Unit-01 now possesses them both, and therefore… becomes God. Once the source of all souls, the Tree of Life has been formed again. Will it be an Ark to save humanity from the vacuum of Third Impact? Or is it a demon that will destroy us all? The fate of mankind now lies in Shinji's hands."

Feebly grasping at Shigeru Aoba's sleeve, Maya Ibuki sobbed, "Tell me… have we done the right thing?"

Helplessly, Aoba glanced at her. "How the hell should I know?"

Fuyutsuki bowed his head. Just so. How could anyone possibly answer that?

*          *            *

An ecstatic smile on her face, Lilith tilted her head back and the sacrament of rebirth began, the start of the salvation / damnation of the human race. The unearthly being with Rei's shape tugged gently at the world and gradually, around the Black Moon tiny, sparkling lights appeared, each one representing a human soul, a person, a child of Lilith. The souls of the billions of living and recent dead were pulled from their bodies… as each light was drawn to the Moon and from there into Lilith, it knew both the greatest joy and the greatest terror possible as it surrendered its individuality to return to its original home. A human life is nothing but a spark in the darkness, flaring to catch the eye for just a moment before fading and dying, to be replaced by newer, brighter lights. But now all people would live forever as one. Humanity had reached the pinnacle of both its ruin and its perfection. Now, there would be just one light. And it would never fade.

*          *            *

Evangelion Unit-01 descended from orbit towards the forehead of Lilith. As if to welcome it, a cavity opened and Unit-01 - with Shinji inside - became one with the progenitor of humanity. A hundred trillion thoughts, images, emotions, understandings, words and memories came flooding, thundering into Shinji. Here, he was no-one. He was just One.

Slowly, Instrumentality began Shinji's absorption, the process by which he would surrender his self, his mind and all concepts of individuality to create the perfection of the single being.

A vision…?

"You don't understand anything. You just stay away from me," Asuka snapped.

"I… do understand," Shinji protested feebly.

"You couldn't possibly! You _jerk_!" Asuka spat. "You think you can ever know me? You think you can even help me? Don't make me laugh! I can't believe how arrogant you are! You're such a moron! You will_ never_ understand!"

"How can I ever understand you if you won't say anything?" demanded Shinji in frustrated anger. "You never talk to me but you expect me to understand! That's _impossible_!"

"Did you ever really try to understand?" came Rei's voice.

"Of course I did…"

"Idiot," sneered Asuka. "I know all about your little jerk-off fantasies about me. Go ahead and do it like you always do. I'll even stand here and watch you. But if I can't have you all to myself…" she leaned in close, "then I don't want _anything_ from you!"

"Then why don't you try being nice to me?" whispered Shinji.

_We are nice to you._

"Liars!" Shinji screamed miserably. "You hide behind those smiles but you intentionally keep things ambiguous…"

"Because the truth causes everyone pain," stated Rei. "Because the truth is very, very traumatic."

"But ambiguity only causes me more pain…"

"That's just an excuse."

"But it scares me!" cried Shinji. "Because I don't know if everyone will stop wanting me again! I feel awkward and uneasy! Let me hear your voice! Don't leave me, I'm begging you! Please, care about me!"

*          *            *

_This world is overflowing with sorrow. Its people are drowning in emptiness. Loneliness fills their hearts._

The corridors of NERV were choked with the dead and dying, reminders of the terrible battle that had taken place only moments before. But now, beside each body stood a figure with blue hair and red eyes, dressed in a Tokyo-3 school uniform. Soul fragments of Lilith that carried the shape of Rei Ayaname, the former First Child. As each human being perished in the ceremony, Rei was there to guide the soul into the loving embrace of Lilith.

Across the world, the AT Fields of human beings ceased to be and their bodies vanished, only to have their souls drawn into Lilith.

*          *            *

A ghostly Rei crawled across the computer desk to Hyuga Makoto, who gasped in fear and tried to shrink back into his chair. Rei took on the shape of Misato, a woman who could never be his, and flung herself on the terminal operator. Hyuga had time for one gasp of fear before his AT Field vanished and his body splattered into LCL. His soul returned to Lilith.

Shigeru Aoba screamed in pure terror as more Reis floated towards him. Desperately he tried to escape but he could not will himself to move. Instead he just clutched his head and screamed… his AT Field vanished and his form dissolved into the orange liquid. His soul returned to Lilith.

Kouzou Fuyutsuki smiled serenely as a Rei took on the shape of Yui Ikari and floated down towards him from above. "Ikari," he murmured as Yui / Rei / Lilith gently held his face close to hers, "Did you finally get to see Yui too?" His AT Field vanished, his body liquefied into LCL and his soul returned to Lilith.

"The… the AT Fields… they're all disappearing," Maya Ibuki stammered, eyes locked on her laptop. Her fingers were shaking too much to work the keys. "Is this… is this the answer I was looking for?" Suddenly, gentle hands reached down from around her shoulders and flew over the keyboard. Only one person Maya knew could type like that.

"Maya…" The Ritsuko / Rei / Lilith figure drew the young woman into an embrace.

"Dr. Akagi!" Maya gasped, before smiling happily and returning the hug. "Ritsuko! Ritsuko…"

Maya's AT Field vanished and the LCL splashed over the floor. Her soul returned to Lilith.

*          *            *

            "I've waited so long for this moment to arrive. I will finally be with you again, Yui," Gendo Ikari lay on his back, gasping painfully, staring up at the face of his dead wife. "When Shinji is near me, all I ever do is cause him pain… I thought it would be better if I did nothing at all."

            "Were you afraid of Shinji?" Yui asked softly, smiling.

"I didn't think anyone could love me," Ikari told her pitifully. "I didn't deserve to be loved."

"So, you were running away. You rejected the others around you so that you would not be hurt. You were terrified by the invisible bonds that people form."

"You were afraid," said Rei, appearing nearby. "And so you closed off your heart."

Gendo Ikari's heart filled with guilt and regret. His voice was stronger. His eyes were open. "And so this is my retribution."

A gigantic Evangelion Unit-01 clutched Gendo in its hand, baleful eyes locked on him.

NERV Commander Gendo Ikari faced his future calmly and spoke the first words of emotion he had ever said to his absent son: "Forgive me, Shinji."

The Evangelion-demon bit down.

Gendo Ikari's AT Field vanished and his guilt-ridden soul violently returned to Lilith.

*          *            *

Blood mingled with the LCL of the entry plug and Asuka lay semi-conscious and close to death. Her eye was mangled, her arm had been dismembered. Only the plug's powerful life support systems kept her alive. Her entire existence was agony. But at that moment, she felt none. Her remaining eye was fixed on the figure that floated towards her.

"Wonder Girl," she whispered weakly, before coughing up a spurt of blood.

Rei smiled and took on the shape of Shinji. Asuka's eye went wide.

"You raised a barrier around your heart," Shinji / Rei / Lilith said softly as he floated closer. "You refused to understand those who love you. And in doing so, you came to not understand yourself. You forced yourself into anger and so came further away from who you truly are."

Asuka stared. A single tear, the first waking tear she had shed since her childhood, escaped the corner of her eye. "It hurts," she croaked. "Idiot."

Shinji / Rei / Lilith smiled and caressed her cheek. Asuka looked into his eyes. She did not turn away. "_Kom sosser tod_," she whispered.

Her AT Field vanished and her body dissolved, mixing with the LCL of the entry plug. Asuka's soul returned to Lilith.

*          *            *

One by one, the holograms flickered out of existence as the SEELE members returned to Lilith. Finally, just one remained, and he was satisfied, awaiting his rebirth.

"The beginning and the end are one and the same." Keel Lorenz smiled peacefully. If he had still had eyes, he would have closed them in ecstasy. "All is right with the world."

As his AT Field evaporated, his body liquefied and the LCL that had once been Keel Lorenz splashed over the desk and floor. His remains - a robotic skeleton - clattered to the ground where they lay spitting electricity and sparking.

The one who had dictated the course of man's future was not really a man himself. But that didn't matter now. Becoming one with Lilith meant that such details were irrelevant. For Keel Lorenz, this was the neon genesis of mankind.

*          *            *

Instrumentality continued…

Shinji and Asuka, alone in their kitchen. Shinji approached the redhead.  "I want to help you, Asuka, I want to be with you…"

"Liar."

Shinji gasped.

Asuka shoved Shinji away from the table, sending him sprawling.

"Somebody… somebody, please, help me…" Shinji whispered. He didn't want to be the only human being that was by himself. "Please… don't leave me alone! Don't abandon me!"

Asuka glared at him.

"No."

Shinji stared at her in horror. Suddenly his hands gripped her throat. His pain and despair and misery spilled into the world / void and he was assailed.

Then he was fully submerged in the stream of Lilith's consciousness. People he knew, people he loved, things he had seen, places he had visited, thoughts he had contemplated, words he had spoken thundered through his scattered, despairing mind.

"No-one understands me," said Shinji bitterly.

"You never understood anything," replied Rei.

"I thought this was supposed to be a world without pain… without uncertainty."

"That's because you thought that everyone else felt the same as you do."

"You betrayed me! You betrayed my feelings!"

"You misunderstood from the very beginning. You just believed what you wanted to believe."

"Nobody wants me. So they can all just _die_."

"Then what is your hand for?"

A gentle caress from another mind in the well of souls…

"Nobody cares whether or not I exist. Nothing ever changes. So they can all just _die_."

"Then tell me… what is your heart for?"

A quiet warmth from within…

"It would be better if I never existed. I should die, too…"

"Then why are you here?"

A peaceful gaze from ghostly eyes…

"Is it okay for me to be here?"

Frustrated and terrified, Shinji's psychic soul-scream echoed across the void.

_Images_

Asuka

_Thoughts_

Father

_Memories_

"Do you want to become one with me?"

_Pain_

"We are nice to you…"

_Longing_

"The truth causes people pain."

Misato

_Truths_

Mother

_Lies_

"Did you try to understand?"

Rei

_Anger_

I wish that I could turn back time…

_So, where is my dream?_

_It is a continuation of reality._

_Then where is my reality?_

_It is at the end of your dream._

The assimilation of Shinji Ikari had come as far as Instrumentality was able to bring it. He was now nothing. He was no longer a _he_. He just… _was_. He was a part of the One. All he had left was one small corner of his mind… the concept of his _self_. Now, he - and he alone - had to make a choice.

He was with Rei. The real Rei. The Rei that had returned the soul of Lilith to its body. They were together. The only two individuals in a world of nothing.

"Ayaname…? Where are we?" Shinji asked curiously, forcibly building the walls of his self, pushing back the tide that threatened to scatter him throughout humanity.

"This place is a sea of LCL," Rei replied quietly. "The primordial soup of life. A place with no AT Fields, where individual forms do not exist. An ambiguous world, where you cannot tell where you end and others begin. This is a world where you exist everywhere and yet you exist nowhere, all at once."

Dreamily, Shinji asked, "Then… this is death?"

"Not quite," Rei replied. "This is a world where we are all one. This is the world you wished for."

"But… this isn't right," frowned Shinji. "This feels wrong…"

Rei nodded. "If you wish for others to exist, the walls of their hearts will separate them again. And they will all feel fear once more."

"Okay then." He reached up and took her hand, squeezing it. She did the same. She was so kind. "Thank you. I just felt pain in that reality. So I thought it was all right to run away. But there was nothing good in the place I escaped to, either. Because I didn't exist there… and so no-one existed."

Kaworu appeared before them. "Is it all right for the AT Field to separate you and cause you all pain again?"

Shinji would have cried, if he had truly had eyes. He looked up into the eyes of Rei, a new calmness overcoming him. He even smiled... sadly.

Shinji looked up. "I don't mind that."

*          *            *

And then…

Lilith's eye began to bulge, stretching and warping until it burst open and from within came Evangelion Unit-01, returning from the prison / freedom of non-existence once more. And with Shinji's return to this reality, Lilith began to fail.

Her head began to slide from her neck, the weight of it pulling the body apart. Slowly, in a crescendo of silence, Lilith's body fell to the earth as her short life came to its conclusion.

Scars appeared on the Black Moon, weeping wounds of blood crisscrossing its surface and dripping down onto Lilith's twisted torso. The first few human souls escaped through the rift and returned to earth.

From its position high above Lilith, amongst the crucified corpses of the mass-production Eva series, Unit-01's bestial victory cry echoed across the eternal plane. Its power returned to it, coiling itself up like a dying spider and Rei's gentle voice came to Shinji.

"You must regain your lost form of your own volition," she smiled. "Anyone can return to human form as long as they are able to imagine themselves in their own heart."

*          *            *

Shinji found her. As more souls regained their individuality and fled from the corpse of Lilith, he found her.

"Don't worry, darling," she whispered, holding him close with her ghostly arms. "All living creatures have the power to be brought back to life, and the will to go on living."

Shinji shut his eyes and pressed himself into her shoulder, and though he said nothing, he took in each one of her words.

"Anywhere can be paradise," she smiled into his eyes, "as long as you have the will to live. After all, you are alive… so you will always have the chance to be happy."

Right there, right then, Shinji Ikari was able to believe it.

"As long as the Sun, the Moon and the Earth exist," said his mother, "everything will be all right."

For the first time in a very long time, Shinji smiled peacefully. He closed his eyes and leaned into the touch of his mother's caress, even as the ebbing tide of souls forced them to drift apart.

"Will you be all right, love?" whispered Yui Ikari. She had a smile on her face. The smile that Shinji had felt so often when in the entry plug of Unit-01.

"I still don't know where my happiness lies," he replied quietly. "I'll still wonder about why I'm here and whether or not it was good to come back. But… that's just stating the obvious, over and over."

He looked at his mother. She gazed at him, full of maternal pride.

"I am… myself," Shinji said finally. "But mother… what will you do, mother?"

Yui Ikari smiled at him.

One last vision… a playground. Three people. A timeless moment.

"When we created Evangelion," asked Professor Kouzou Fuyutsuki distantly, "were we trying to create a clone of God?"

"Of course," smiled Yui as she held a giggling baby Shinji to her. "Man can only exist on this earth, but the Evangelion can exist forever, along with the human soul that dwells within it."

Kouzou and Yui looked at one another, a glance of mutual understanding.

"When the Sun, the Moon and the Earth are all gone," Yui told him, "Eva will exist as long as just one person remains. It will be lonely, but as long as one person still lives…"

"It will be eternal proof that mankind ever existed," smiled Kouzou, returning to gaze over the plain.

*          *            *

And with that, Shinji closed his eyes… and in peace, he let go.

"Goodbye, mother."

______________________________________________________________________________________

AUTHOR'S NOTES:  Okay, how did you like my stunningly original, never before seen tale of salvation and sacrifice? *snort* So, I loved the movie, I just had to write this. And come on… we all know that Shinji loves Asuka and that Asuka loves Shinji, but Shinji is too wuss to approach her and Asuka is to proud to confess. In Evangelion, the romance was touched on but never went anywhere (because of other emotional problems) until the very, very end of End of Evangelion, when Asuka strokes Shinji's cheek. That is the moment she finally confronts her feelings, finally being true to herself. So what happens afterwards is allowed to be a little more romance heavy, right? Um… right? Don't worry… I much prefer characters to REMAIN in character, and realism is something I strive for. But that's up to you, I guess. So please review, and remember… my self-esteem is in your hands.


	3. Purgatory

GAINAX and Evangelion are not owned by me. In fact, Anno Hideaki doesn't even know who I am. 

So, Chapter 02 and the start of the real story. It probably won't be very long (the whole story, I mean) as the only reason I started writing it was because no matter how much I loved the movie, and even though it did give me a _sort of_ sense of closure, I wanted more. So I did it myself.

This is where it gets difficult for me. Obviously the characters have never experienced the end of the world before, so I'm on my own here with nothing to guide me except my knowledge of Asuka and Shinji. I'm just hoping that they're still in character… it can sometimes be hard to tell when you're writing them.

Whatever. Hey, I'd love some reviews if you think it's worth the effort.

Take it easy,

RENEGADE

______________________________________________________________________________________

ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD

02. Purgatory

The night was starry. And it was quiet, too… the only sound was the ocean, washing against the white sand of the shore. Lying on a desolate beach, there was a fourteen year old boy. For long moments, his mind did not acknowledge his surroundings. Mental pictures still rolled through his mind: thoughts, emotions, memories.

Regrets.

Hope.

Shinji Ikari finally remembered his name. And with that revelation, his mind thundered into the present.

_I… am… myself._

Yes. It all came back to him. Everything that had happened in humanity's final hours. Everything he had lost. Now, however, the scope of past events was too difficult to comprehend, so he ignored them.

Testing his limits, he rolled his head to the side. His eyes ached… as if he had never used them before. But still… he picked out a figure standing on the red ocean of LCL.

Rei?

Shinji's eyes were wide, his pupils dilated. His mind, while active, was still not functioning properly, and his limbs refused to move at all for the moment. All he could do was stare as the rhythmic sound of the ocean pervaded his senses.

But… no. She was gone. If she was ever there in the first place.

Wearily, feeling more fatigued than he ever had in his life, Shinji hauled himself up into a sitting position. He sensed his surroundings without perceiving them. Every muscle in his body burned. Every movement was painful. Everything he touched hurt him. Every scent burned his nostrils. Everything he heard echoed in his ears. Everything he saw…

_Asuka you're alive what look at me how you're back oh thank God no please Asuka go away hate joy anger rage pain despair love regret hope sadness_

The waves lapped on the beach. The starlight illuminated two figures barely moving below.

Instrumentality had failed. Shinji had made it so. He had chosen pain over perfection. At the height of all his raw, conflicting emotions, his body feeling as though it was about to tear itself apart from within, spines of pain and horror lancing through his mind, a tortured soul unsure whether this was salvation or damnation, Shinji Ikari placed his hands around the neck of Asuka Langley Sohryu.

She looked just as she had done the last time Shinji had seen her. Comatose. She gazed blankly at the sky. She neither resisted nor reacted when Shinji squeezed tighter. Despair welled up within him. Misery threatened to overwhelm him. All the sacrifices. All the death and chaos. All the torture and agony… were meaningless. Asuka did not react. There was no pain in this world.

Shinji squeezed tighter and Asuka's closed lips separated under the pressure as her air supply and blood circulation began to reach dangerous levels.

He had chosen to return to a world of pain. But there was no pain. He had done something wrong. He had failed again. He was just as worthless as he had always expected. But more than that… Ayaname… his mother… Kaworu… everything they had said when he had merged with their minds in Instrumentality… were lies.

Lies! He had been betrayed again! By the ones he loved! He was hopeless and useless and worthless and miserable and of no value to anyone! Why did they have to abandon –

Suddenly, Asuka's arm reached up. Shinji froze, staring at her expressionless face. With a hand that was dry and shaky, she gently caressed his face. She kept it there, touching his cheek.

Shinji choked. His hands went limp instantly and he bent over Asuka as the tears finally, _finally came. He sobbed and wept, the tears falling on Asuka's face. She didn't even blink but her hand fell back to her side._

Bowing his head, every emotion possible raged within him for dominance of Shinji.

Asuka Langley Sohryu stared blankly at the night sky. She felt… empty. Was this… her? Or was she still… gone? With everyone else, in Instrumentality? When she had been absorbed she had understood the truth about the Evas and NERV. She had been horrified to learn of her fate right up until the time that she no longer existed, her individuality swept away in the current of merging souls.

She had lost who she was. That was true horror. That was true pain.

But what now? Was this the next step towards perfection?

But then there was the opening. It had ended. Perfection had failed. She understood this. And when she realised that _she understood, she knew that she was indeed… __she. Not daring to resist her call, the separate parts that made up Asuka Langley Sohryu returned to her. Her form was hers once more._

And thus she had returned to this world of pain. A world where she recalled the horror of her childhood. The nightmare of her defeats. Her sense of worthlessness. The betrayal of her victory, right at the end of all things, against the mass-production Eva series. She remembered that Misato was dead… understanding she had learned from the merged soul of Lilith. She remembered that Kaji and Doctor Akagi were dead. She remembered the people she had known. The way she had lived. Shinji.

Not being able to change the past. That was pain. That was what she felt. And she knew she was back. Her brain acknowledged the sensation of something tickling her cheeks. Tears… falling on her. With that came the reawakening of her auditory sense. Crying. Nearby.

A tiny spark of her awoke in the corner of her being. A piece of Asuka's personality became available to her once more… suddenly she remembered her reaction to tears. These were weakness, and the spark reminded her that she did not accept weakness.

Another tear fell. Asuka gazed down with vacant eyes at the figure bending over her.

"How disgusting."

Her voice… the words… it awoke more information inside her. It was like opening a hundred doors… each door led to another. Instantly, the contents of Asuka's heart, mind and soul spilled into her consciousness, filling her being and making her whole again.

And it was the same with Shinji. As Asuka's voice and words became clear to him, they unlocked hidden rooms within him and thoughts, memories, everything that had made him who he was snapped back into place. The last vestiges of Instrumentality's vacuum were swept away by the onslaught of individuality that filled him. He gained back every last vestige of his self. The self that, only minutes before, he had lost. The knowledge of his individuality came rushing in on him, overruling all the other information that thundered through his tired brain.

Suddenly, the two gasping bodies on the beach had become Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley Sohryu once again, not only in name… but in soul.

The tears dried on Shinji's stunned face. He sat back a little as Asuka began to move. His eyes were locked on her face. She blinked. Twice. Three times. Her eyes moved. Her lips parted. Her head twitched. Her whole body began to shift. Afraid, Shinji moved back more.

Asuka pulled herself up into a sitting position. Her eyes swiveled for a moment before resting on Shinji. She opened her mouth, moved her tongue, testing it. Taking a few deep breaths, sucking in oxygen, she tried to move a few limbs and winced as they creaked. She stared at Shinji, blinking a few times in bemusement.

"I feel sick."

Gaping, Shinji blinked in disbelief and terror. His breath came in quick gasps and in a relieved flood he finally released another torrent of tears. He did something he never would have had the courage to do in a past time. Shinji flung himself on Asuka, wrapping his arms around her and squeezing her as tight as he could.

"A… A… Asuka… you're all right… thank God… I thought… I'd failed again…"

Asuka closed her eyes. Strangely, she felt almost serene. She did not automatically build up her usual walls of aggressiveness that blocked everyone out, forced them away.

No-one had done this before.

No male had ever dared to touch her before, though of course she _had hugged Kaji. She had hugged her friends. She had held Shinji in a headlock. But this was different… _

…for the first time she felt _needed._

Yeah. She felt all right.

A soft smile crept over her tired features. She gently placed her arms around the weeping Shinji, sighing wearily as he gripped her fiercely, burying his face in her shoulder, for the first time truly unafraid of his feelings. And she was the same. Asuka stroked the back of Shinji's brown hair as he whimpered, afraid to let go of her.

She glanced down at the top of his head, frowned… and smirked. A thoughtful expression came over her face. "This feeling sucks."

Shinji pulled away and gazed at her, tear-rimmed eyes contrasting his smile. "Yes. It's you, isn't it. It's really you, Asuka." He started crying again.

"Idiot," Asuka murmured with a wan smile, and closed her eyes. Exhausted… she was utterly exhausted. She lay back against the sand and opened her eyes once more. Shinji crawled over and collapsed next to her, apparently feeling the same terrible fatigue.

Asuka didn't move. "I'm cold."

A short, choking laugh escaped Shinji's lips. "Yeah… me too."

Rolling her head to the side to look at Shinji, Asuka tried to glare at him in exasperation. Yes, Shinji was back to his old self as well. However, her lids were having difficulty staying up and she didn't have the energy for a retort. "So come here."

Wordlessly, Shinji shuffled over and nestled into her, placing an arm over her waist. Asuka turned slightly and dragged her resisting arm upwards, draping it over Shinji. They held one another close for the first time.

"Did I do the right thing, Asuka? When we came… back here?" Shinji whispered into her shoulder.

Asuka knew that Shinji was responsible for rejecting Lilith. All of humanity knew… at least, those coming back would know. And although she was terrified of death, she honestly preferred it to the non-existence that was Instrumentality and Third Impact. In answer to Shinji's question, she repeated a sentence that she knew had come from another merged soul, the one that was truly responsible.

Asuka smiled. "All is right with the world."

The closeness of their bodies warmed them sufficiently and the presence of the other comforted them. For the first time in a long time, the two of them felt as though they were needed, and that was how Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley Sohryu spent the first night following Instrumentality.

*          *            *

They woke at the same time to the same sound: waves lapping rhythmically on the cool sand. It was dawn. The dawn of a new day…

"And a new world," murmured Shinji.

"What was that?" demanded Asuka. Shinji turned warily as Asuka stamped up beside him and started, as if noticing their surroundings for the first time. She dropped to the white sand, hugging her knees to her chest. Shinji stood beside her, arms hanging limply by his sides.

There were still a few stars in the cool blue of the failing night sky, but the horizon was glowing a deep red – the first sign of the coming dawn. Cutting an arc across the sky, stretching the limits of vision, was a blood rainbow, a reminder of events only just past. Dotted across their field of vision, some near and some further away, the crucified corpses of the destroyed mass-production Evangelions were protruding from the water of the red LCL sea.

But far on the horizon was the most disturbing sight of all. The remnants of the being known as Lilith. Her gigantic head, split down the middle, a ghostly smile on its dead lips and a vacant look in its staring eyes.

Gasping, Asuka stared. "That… that looks like…"

"I'm sorry, Rei," Shinji muttered, turning away.

Neither of them said anything for a moment, the soft hissing of the waves pervading the silence. Asuka's narrowed eyes flickered from side to side, taking in her bizarre surroundings. Shinji merely stood, head drooping, gazing despondently at the cold sand at his feet.

Glancing vaguely to his right, Shinji stopped as he glimpsed something. He squinted his eyes to see if he could get a better look at the object.

"What… what is all this?" Asuka murmured. There was no reply, so she turned. "Shinji?"

Her companion had moved a few steps away and was staring at a gnarled tree.

Reaching out with a shaking hand, Shinji carefully withdrew the object from its hanging position. Cradling it gently in his hand, he stared down at it.

Climbing to her feet, Asuka moved over, eyeing the boy curiously. "Shinji? What have you… oh." She slowed as she realised what it was. "That… was hers…"

Shinji didn't look up. A tide of misery threatened to overwhelm him but he forced it down. He spoke vacantly. "Misato's… not 'hers'. This was Misato's cross."

Asuka turned her gaze away in shame, guiltily remembering the hatred she had poured into the undeserving woman who had tried to be her mother. "Misato," she whispered in agreement.

The two of them stared blankly at the cross for a long moment. The waves lapped at the beach.

Shinji raised his head to look into Asuka's azure blue eyes. She quickly turned her head, cheeks burning. "I… I wish she…" The words dropped away.

Gazing sadly at the cross, which was slightly stained with red blood, Shinji gently closed his eyes. As Asuka silently watched on, he squeezed the pendant one last time and hung it around his own neck.

"It's… how she'd want it," Asuka said quietly.

"It's hers," Shinji said in a voice that was equally as soft. "I'm only holding it for her…"

"Until she comes back."

Shinji nodded, a look of mutual understanding passing between them. The boy spoke hesitantly. "All… all living creatures have the power to… come back to life. And the will to go on living."

Asuka smiled wanly. "She'll be back. You know her."

Shinji offered a small smile as well. "You're hurt," he said, catching Asuka off guard.

Surprised, she examined the bandages on her right arm. She hadn't even noticed them until now… she realised that the entire arm of her plug suit had been cut away. Poking the bandages curiously, she noted that nothing hurt when she did so and pulled hard at them until they slithered off her arm. Inspecting it, she found nothing wrong. Her flesh was smooth and clear as always. "I wonder how the bandages got there," she mused.

"Um… didn't you… you know… in Unit-02… get hit? By the… um… Lance?"

Asuka snorted. "There was a little more damage than could have been healed by a few bandages, Third Child. My arm split in half lengthways."

Shinji visibly winced. "You're so… casual about it."

The girl shrugged. "It's better than dying, huh?"

"I… guess. And your… um… eye?"

"Huh?" Surprised once again, Asuka raised a tentative hand to her left eye, which had been covered in a gauze pad since she had arrived. "Oh… my eye. I thought it popped." Ignoring Shinji's shudder, Asuka irritably ripped the pad off. "Well?" she demanded loudly, bringing her face in close to Shinji, who instinctively recoiled. "Is it still there?"

Opening one eye a crack, Shinji stammered, "Can't you tell if you can see out of it?"

Asuka stopped short. "Oh yeah," she admitted, and threw Shinji a wide smile. "Well, who cares how the bandages got there. I'm all right, and that's what matters. Ha! Asuka Langley Sohryu returns from the-"

"Don't say it," Shinji pleaded, cutting in. "Don't say it, Asuka."

Caught by surprise for the third time, Asuka relaxed, a look of understanding passing across her face. "All right, Shinji," she said quietly. "It's all right."

Shinji's shoulders sagged. "I just… I just couldn't…"

He stopped when he felt Asuka's hand on his shoulder and he looked up into her eyes. "I know," she said gently. "I understand."

Shinji nodded, relieved. He turned away from the red ocean and looked at the scene sprawled before him. Asuka did the same, gazing dispassionately over the remains of Tokyo-3.

"So… what do we do now?" Shinji asked her.

"Now?" Asuka frowned. "I guess we should… go home?"

"Or to NERV?" suggested Shinji. "They'd probably want to see us."

"No," replied Asuka firmly. "We're not going to NERV. Not yet. Besides, we don't even know if there'd be anyone there."

"Um… all right," Shinji said meekly. "Then let's… go home."

It seemed so surreal. There were actually people in Tokyo-3. Nowhere near enough to keep the city running, but there was a noticeable amount. The citizens wandered about bemusedly, wondering exactly what they were supposed to do now. Shinji and Asuka avoided their stares.

Asuka strode along, Shinji struggling to keep up with her quick pace. He noticed that her shoulders were hunched, though, and her head was bowed. She wasn't watching where she was going… "Asuka!"

Grabbing her arm, Shinji pulled Asuka to a halt inches before she slammed her head into the pole. The redhead glared at him angrily. He hurriedly released her arm. "I'm sorry… you were about to… hit the pole," he stammered.

She turned away. "Whatever," was all she said.

Staring after her, Shinji stood dumbly for a moment. They had experienced Hell together first hand, gone through Human Instrumentality, survived the 'end of the world' and still she… was like _this to him?_

Shinji Ikari retreated into his shell and shuffled after his female companion.

Home was not how they remembered it. Though he knew in his heart of hearts that it would have taken a hundred miracles for their apartment block to survive the nightmare explosion of Third Impact, a small part of Shinji had still held out a small hope.

Asuka sighed and dropped her gaze from the gigantic pile of rubble. Shinji turned away, unable to look at the home he had known for what was actually quite a small amount of time… possibly less than a year, but he wasn't really sure. His time in the Katsuragi household had held mixed feelings for him, some good and some bad.

But in this home… here, living with Misato and Asuka – and the irrepressible Pen-Pen – he had felt… happy. For the first time since he had lived with his mother. He felt at ease here.

Of course, Shinji reflected bitterly, as with most things in my life, nothing good lasts. Eventually the apartment had become a place of hiding for him. Hiding from Misato's tears over the dead Ryouji Kaji, hiding from Asuka's increasingly frequent fits of rage, hiding from a world that Shinji believed he didn't want to inhabit any more. His home had become an unhappy place for him, a place he didn't like going to anymore.

But now… seeing his home destroyed, Shinji could only recall the good times. And his heart ached to return to them. He just wanted to wake up in the morning to hear Asuka complaining to Pen-Pen (the only one who would listen) and to see a bleary-eyed Misato drink a beer for breakfast and transform her mood faster than the mind could comprehend. He wanted to hear Touji and Kensuke leer over his guardian when they came to pick him up for the walk to school. He wanted to daydream during his teacher's Second Impact lectures and return home to cook dinner for his roommates. And to go to bed happy knowing that tomorrow would be the same.

But he couldn't have that. Not anymore. He blinked sadly and sat down on a large chunk of masonry. To his surprise, Asuka sat beside him. Neither said anything.

"Will it ever be the same again?" Shinji asked eventually.

Asuka hung her head. She had been thinking the same. "No. The good times are over. You know that."

"I… I just hoped…"

"There _is no hope, Ikari!" Asuka shouted, spinning to face him. To his shock, Shinji saw tears forming in the corners of her eyes. She pushed her face close to his and snarled, "Look at all this, idiot! Does it __look like everything will be all right? It was __Third Impact. For all we know, the whole world has been destroyed! Misato is dead, our home was destroyed, our friends have all gone…"_

"Stop it!" screamed Shinji as tears of his own began to well up. "Don't say that! They'll come back!"

"They won't!" screamed Asuka, tears falling freely from her eyes too. "Can't you see? Can't you understand, Shinji? _Look at what's happened! IDIOT!"_

Her angry slap stung his cheek and he fell to the grass on his back. "How can you be so cold?!" he yelled, hurt.

"How can you be so naïve?!" Asuka cried back furiously, dropping onto the grass beside him and grabbing him by the shirt to pull him up for another slap. "How can you… how can you… have any… hope at all…"

Asuka released her hold and Shinji fell back. They stared at one another for a few moments, their eyes red and puffy. Broken, Asuka's face crumpled and she burst into tears, falling forwards onto Shinji, who started to cry as well. Asuka buried her face in Shinji's chest, sobbing hard and Shinji clutched her arms tight as he cried harder.

After a while, they both calmed a little.

Pulling herself up, Asuka supported herself on Shinji's chest. The two of them, cheeks wet, eyes red and heads drooping, stared at one another. Slowly, Asuka lowered herself, and gazing cautiously at Shinji the whole time she drew closer. She slid her arms around his neck and lay her head against his shoulder, eyes clenched shut.

Neither of them cared at the moment. They needed one another. Shinji wrapped his arms around her waist and held her tightly.

"We both… want things the way they once were," he said quietly, failing to keep his voice from shaking.

They cried silently together, hugging one another close, unwilling to let go.

Eventually, Asuka shifted. "You know…" she mumbled. "I never told you how good a cook you were."

Shinji laughed hoarsely. "I never thanked you for helping me with my homework all those times."

This time Asuka giggled. They lay silently together again, still clutching tightly onto one another, Asuka's forehead resting against the side of Shinji's chin.

"There… were a lot of things…" Asuka murmured sadly, "that… I should have said…"

"I… wanted to talk to you… a lot… but I was… afraid."

Asuka raised her head and smiled at him. "We have time. Lots of time. Probably not much else, at least for now. Come on, dummkopf. Let's forget this self-pitying and go see what the hell is going on with the world right now."

Offering her a half smile, Shinji nodded and casting one last glance at their ruined home, the two of them walked together back into the heart of the city…

…side by side.

________________________________________________________________________

AUTHOR'S NOTES:  With a flourish and a smug expression, I throw my pen down, lean back and idly wonder what the hell I'm going to do now. Chapter 02 is finished! I'm going to have to be careful where I'm going here… I think the romance is a little full on, perhaps arguably close to being out of character for Shinji and Asuka. However, I argue with myself that a) they both desperately need something to hold onto at this time and b) now that they pretty much know each other's feelings (from the series and movie) much of the tension between them would have vanished now that there are no Evas, Angels or soldiers to distract them. Right now, they only have each other. But I think that'll change soon. Comments? Suggestions? I love 'em and read 'em all. Regardless, thanks for reading.


	4. At the End of Your Dream

GAINAX and Evangelion are not mine, and neither do I want them. Nope. Not at all.

First and foremost, I want to sincerely thank everyone who has taken an interest in the story. Much to my surprise, the comments directed at me were all positive and people were telling me that they liked the story. As everyone knows this goes a long way in motivating a writer to continue and I think I have been suitably manipulated into posting more chapters. 

I have no intention of leaving Evangelion: All is Right With the World unfinished. I'm obsessive-compulsive about this sort of thing so one way or the other this will get finished. I must say, I am enjoying writing it… it's the perfect way for an eighteen-year old slacker to pass the time in the school holidays

This chapter is a little more introspective. This is mostly to try and slow down the romance a bit. I have a vague idea of what is going to happen, but I don't know how long it will take. It's just kind of hard figuring out what the rest of the world would be doing at a time like this and that is going to tie in with the story a little bit later. 

Once again, thank you to everyone for reviewing and posting comments, and keep 'em coming. You can never have too much hate mail, I always say.

Take it easy,

RENEGADE

________________________________________________________________________

ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD

03. At the End of Your Dream

After Second Impact, the Earth was tilted off its polar axis and abnormal patterns of weather became apparent. Now that Third Impact had destroyed their city, leaving nothing but grey rubble and the skeletal remains of buildings as far as the eye could see, there was very little shelter for the newly returned residents of Tokyo-3.

Shinji was somehow unsurprised when it started to rain heavily.

"Whaaat!?" screeched his companion. "What is this? As if the end of the world wasn't enough, we get a downpour dumped on us? This really sucks!"

"Maybe we should look for some shelter, Asuka," Shinji ventured as the angry redhead paced in circles, fuming and cursing at the grey sky. The blood rainbow was still slashed across the heavens as the drops began to fall.

Asuka Langley Sohryu spun around to face the boy. "Well, thank you very much for that, Shinji Ikari," she replied sarcastically. "Where would I be without you to help me puzzle out these difficult decisions?"

Shinji muttered inaudibly under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Well… can we go? There… were people around here before… maybe we should see if we can find them."

"Fine. Which way should we head, navigator?"

"I'm… not really certain."

"Oh, come on!"

The two of them made a run for it into the crumbled heart of the city as a booming crash of thunder rolled over them and the heavens opened.

*          *            *

They found, much to their relief, quite a large group of people. It was by accident, really; Shinji and Asuka had been dashing through the debris-strewn streets when a sudden flash of yellow caught Asuka's eye. It belonged to the shirt of a young woman who was standing in the doorway of an auto-repair shop. Skidding to a halt, the two ex-Eva pilots cautiously approached and were given a wary greeting which they hesitantly returned. After the two Children spent a moment of uncomfortable silence standing in the pouring rain, Asuka rather harshly asked the woman if she was going to invite them in. When the woman paused to consider the question, Asuka sighed and, pulling Shinji along behind her, barged past the woman and into the building.

It was lucky that this place was in as good a condition as it was. The auto-repair shop was squat and so much of the whirling devastation of the Third Impact explosion had passed over it. Its neighbouring buildings hadn't been so fortunate; this street, like the rest of the city, was now a quarry.

Storming into the large garage and dragging a feebly protesting Third Child along with her, Asuka stamped into the middle of the concrete floor and glared at the other 'residents'.

"Um… hello," a middle aged woman ventured cautiously as she bowed slightly, warily perceptive of Asuka's fiery temperament even after so short a time had passed.

Asuka was gazing disdainfully about her, hands on hips, making no move to speak, so Shinji, who hated uncomfortable situations like this, attempted to return the greeting. "Good… um… morning…"

Asuka butted in. "Yes. I'm Asuka Langley Sohryu of NERV. Second Child and pilot of Evangelion Unit-02, if that means anything to you."

The woman's eyes widened in surprise and the numerous other shadowy figures in the garage began whispering amongst themselves. Shinji fidgeted and avoided their stares. "You pilot those robots?" the woman gasped. "You were… involved in… what happened, then?"

"No, of course not," Asuka snorted. "I had nothing to do with that. That was the Third Child, here. Ikari."

"Oh, you were a pilot, too?" the woman asked hopefully as Shinji stammered out his name. "Can you tell us what's happened?"

"Don't you _know?" Asuka said, dumbfounded. "Even after you went through it?"_

"Er," the woman said, more subdued. "Well, nobody here… ah, fully understands what has happened. Well, we _know what happened, but that isn't the same…" she struggled for words._

"It…" Shinji started, uncharacteristically interrupting. He felt his cheeks burn as all eyes turned to him and he stared at his feet. "It was called Instrumentality. It was started by an organization that controls NERV and the United Nations… um. SEELE."

"How do you know all of this?" a man demanded suspiciously. "We all know that we… became one. We know that we shared memories and knowledge, but we didn't know _everything."_

"Of course not!" Asuka said loudly. "If you want _my opinion…" Nobody seemed willing to say otherwise. "…__I think that we only shared memories with the people we were close to or were involved with. Instrumentality ended just as it was really beginning. If it had gone on longer, you probably would have ended up knowing __everything."_

Shinji looked at her in surprise. "How… do you…"

"Oh, stop it," Asuka snapped. "I'm not dumb, Ikari."

"I didn't…"

"I have a _college degree."_

"I know, Asuka! I was just wondering _how you knew. I mean, it wasn't something you learned in Instrumentality, because I would have known it too. So that means you must have learned all that since then."_

"Well…" Asuka turned away. "It didn't occur to me until recently, that's true." She smiled grimly at a recent memory. "Take a little analogy. _The meaning of the AT Field."_

Shinji nodded carefully, recognising her memory. "All right…"

"Right," Asuka butted in, not allowing Shinji to steal her moment of triumph. "When we synchronised – _merged – with our Evas, both of us received memories and so on from…"_

"The souls inside our own Evas," Shinji said quietly.

"But when you merged with Rei's Eva, you got nothing but a world of hurt."

"I wasn't _close to that soul, so I got nothing."_

"Yeah. It's the same here. I think."

Asuka suddenly became aware of a roomful of dumbfounded and confused stares. "Look, it doesn't matter," she snapped, cheeks flushing. "You all want it in _layman's terms? Fine! One: SEELE merges all souls using the Evangelions, Third Impact and a doomsday weapon called the Lance of Longinus. Everyone gets a few memories from people close to them. Two: Shinji, inside Unit-01 – which was the 'medium' – refuses Instrumentality so it fails. Three: if a person can imagine themselves as a __person, an individual, they get a choice – stay there or come here. All you people chose to come here."_

The people in the garage began nodding slowly as realisation gradually wiggled through the fog. Asuka looked around smugly, hands on hips in satisfaction of her fine work. "Any questions?"

A hand went up in a corner. It was a very young man wearing a leather jacket. "_Yes?" Asuka said testily, obviously miffed that she hadn't explained everything in one go._

"Did you _really go to college?"_

Shinji turned away as a small smile crept onto his features. This young man was walking down a dangerous road. If only he knew.

*          *            *

The Second and Third Children were seated in a dark corner of the garage. They had gratefully accepted some mediocre food that the others had scavenged from the rubble and Asuka had allowed Shinji to recount in greater detail the events that had led to rebirth. The people had taken it relatively well, she mused, then mentally snorted. Probably because they didn't even understand.

Shinji sighed. The other people respected their privacy now that they had received as many answers as he had been able to provide. He glanced over to Asuka. She seemed to be taking great pleasure in sending a dagger look across to the young man every now and then, causing him to flinch and look away.

He drew his legs up to his chest and huddled into them, trying to keep warm against the chill of the hissing rain outside. He leant his head back against the greasy, grey brick wall of the large garage and shut his eyes, listening to the droplets drumming on the roof.

The rain had always been a source of peace for him. It was such a gentle, soothing sound, one he could get lost in for hours. He loved looking out the window and seeing a grey curtain of rain, quiet pattering on the glass, washing away the colour of the world. So serene and peaceful. It was a strange thing, but every time it rained, Shinji felt as though everything was being washed away so that it could start again. The city was being given a clean slate, a fresh start, a new beginning.

_The fate of destruction is also the joy of rebirth._

Shinji sighed heavily, calling up different words from a different visionary. He smiled wanly.

"Shinji? What is it?" Asuka was looking at him curiously. She was in much the same position as he was, knees against her chest to ward of the cold, though her plugsuit probably meant that she was warmer than Shinji. She cocked her head on one side as he lifted his from its position against the wall. "What are you smiling at?"

Shinji said nothing for a moment, still smiling, before he closed his eyes and leaned back once again. "I was thinking…"

After a few moments Asuka prompted him with a frown. "Well?"

"Anywhere can be paradise," he said serenely. "As long as you have the will to live. After all, you are alive… and so you will always have the chance to be happy." Shinji turned to look at Asuka, who was staring at him. "He was right," he murmured quietly. "Death creates nothing."

Asuka nodded slowly, despite not fully understanding everything Shinji was saying. "I'll definitely agree with that."

"I think… I'm beginning to understand my mother, Asuka. She always thought… our hearts are beating, so it is important that we _choose to live. Not simply to exist."_

They sat facing one another.

Finally, Asuka spoke, a little awkwardly. "Did… you pilot the Eva to learn about your mother?"

Shinji shook his head. "No… I never really suspected the truth about her and the Eva until recently. Just before… Kaworu. My father… once told me something. I don't know if it was some kind of lesson or advice, but I remember it. He said that he was satisfied with the memories in his heart. And… I agree. It's better to let the dead rest… when you have to. My mother is gone… but she'll always be with me because I will remember what she said."

Shinji's voice dropped even lower. "That was another thing he said. There are some things a man should never forget. I agree with that, too… but I think that… other things… you just have to let go. Or _they will hold __you forever."_

"Have you tried, Shinji?" Asuka said coldly. Shinji looked up in surprise and was shocked to see anger in Asuka's eyes. "What if the dead don't let you rest, Third Child? What if there are some things you _can't forget because they just hurt too much? What if you aren't satisfied with the memories in your heart, because they suck? What then, Shinji? It isn't easy to just let go."_

Shinji looked away. He knew about Asuka's mother, now, thanks to Instrumentality. It was such a sad and terrible story. He knew that if it wasn't for Instrumentality, she never would have revealed it to him. "Asuka…"

She sighed, shut her eyes and took a deep breath. "Oh, I'm sorry, Shinji," she grumbled. Shinji didn't say anything, but Asuka had known him for long enough to understand that he had accepted the apology. "I… know that you know… about me. About my mother. I want you to know now that… I _have let go."_

"I'm sor-"

"Don't say it," Asuka snapped warningly, eyes narrowing. "If you say that, Shinji, this conversation is over. Let me say it for now, okay? Just this once, at least."

"I'm sor… oh. All right. Um…I just… I didn't mean… to hurt… um… you."

"I know, and you didn't," she sighed, leaning back herself. "It's all right. You know, I piloted Eva because deep down, I wanted praise – because if I didn't have praise then I felt as if I had no proof when I said I was the best. It was my mother's praise I was really after most of all… I wanted… I _needed the praise of my dead Mama because I thought she didn't want me. I thought she didn't need me. She thought I was… a doll…"_

"I… understand," Shinji said quietly.

Asuka let out a short laugh. "Do you, Shinji? Do you really?"

An image of Gendo Ikari materialised before Shinji's eyes.

_I thought you didn't want me!_

_I called you because I have a use for you._

"I do understand, Asuka," he said honestly. She looked over and realised. Looking away again, she laughed dryly.

"Yeah," she said simply. And then, almost inaudibly under her breath, she mumbled, "Thanks."

"You're… strong, Asuka. You know that. I wish I was like you."

"I know. But there's only one Asuka Langley Sohryu!"

"Yeah," admitted Shinji, before bowing his head and muttering, "Thank God."

Asuka heard and laughed loudly. She turned and grinned evilly into Shinji's face, nudging him hard in the side. "_I think that you would be __more than happy to have a few more of me around, Ikari. More Asukas for you to kiss in their sleep."_

Shinji blushed fiercely and turned away. "I… told you, I never…" he mumbled.

A faint smile crept over Asuka's features. "Pervert," she snickered good-naturedly.

"Yeah, well… it's not as if you haven't done anything like that to me!"

"That was to kill time, Third Child! Don't flatter yourself into thinking it was anything more!"

"Hmph." Shinji looked slightly crestfallen.

If there was one thing that got Asuka into a good mood, it was teasing Shinji. "Still, it wasn't bad, was it, Ikari?" she remarked offhandedly. "I'll bet you think of it a lot."

"Not as much as you'd think," muttered Shinji. In answer to Asuka's curious – and slightly disappointed – expression, he said, "You washed your mouth out straight afterwards, Asuka. It… didn't exactly… make me feel…"

"Oh." Now it was Asuka's turn to be embarrassed. "Well… I… didn't… _mean it, Shinji. I was kind of… mad because I __let you…" She glanced up with a half smile on her face. "It wasn't that bad."_

Shinji looked slightly relieved. "Not for you, at least," he replied dryly, remembering the torture of holding his breath as long as Asuka had made him.

"And just what is that supposed to mean?!" Asuka stood up and towered over Shinji, hands on her hips. "Are you saying that I'm a bad kisser?" she demanded rather too loudly.

"Ssh! Asuka! Sit down!" Shinji turned as red as a tomato as people turned to look curiously. The young man in the leather jacket Asuka had been antagonizing earlier looked utterly stunned.

"Not until you say I'm a great kisser!" she yelled crossly.

"All right! All right! You are, Asuka! Okay?"

"_Say it!"_

"You _are a good kisser, Asuka!"_

"Just _good?"_

"Great! You're great, Asuka."

"Hmph. All right."

Shinji sighed heavily but froze as he realised the amount of eyes that were on him. Asuka, noticing the same thing, spun around and treated the room to one of her trademark glares. "Hey, get a picture, it lasts longer!"

Once the occupants of the garage had returned to whatever they were doing, Asuka sat back down.

"Perverts everywhere," she grumbled.

Shinji and Asuka sat in silence for a few minutes, shivering as a particularly icy gust of wind whipped through the ill-protected auto garage.

"You know…" Shinji said eventually, talking quietly as he hugged his knees to his chest. "I didn't know what to do, Asuka… when you were… in hospital."

"You didn't know what to do…?" Asuka repeated, glancing over. He was avoiding her gaze.

"I was all alone." 

Asuka shifted awkwardly and considered what she was going to say. "I…"

"It's all right, Asuka. You don't have to say anything. I shouldn't have even brought it up, but… I felt like I had to say it."

In times like this, Asuka's automatic side took over. "Idiot," she snorted, more stiffly than she intended.

Shinji smiled faintly. "Yeah."

Asuka rolled her eyes. "You know, Shinji, I sometimes wish I could find out what's going on in your mind when I call you a name. Doesn't it get on your nerves? Or do you find some kind of weird pleasure in it?"

Shinji's cheeks turned red. "I… don't mind it, that's all."

Asuka shook her head. "You don't, do you." She grinned at him. "Weirdo."

Flushing even deeper, Shinji smiled faintly without meeting her eyes.

"I think I'm starting to understand my mother as well."

"Huh?" Shinji looked over.

"I saw her, you know," Asuka told him quietly.

"You saw…"

"In Instrumentality. I saw her."

*          *            *

Lilith split asunder and her lifeblood poured across the sky. Millions of twinkling souls in the shape of glowing crosses escaped the dying being to plummet back to Earth. In the chaos of the swirling, fleeing ghosts, Asuka's troubled soul found someone. And her anger washed away.

They were together, and icy fear gripped Asuka's heart along with an inexplicable sense of desperate joy. Just the sight of her caused the collapse of Asuka's strong emotional barriers, exposing the fragility beneath. Before she could scream out, she had been swept into the arms of Kyoko Zeppelin Sohryu.

"M… Mama…" Asuka stammered, wide-eyed.

"My Asuka," murmured Kyoko.

"Mama… I…"

"Ssh, my Asuka," said her mother softly. "Don't say anything yet."

A terrible longing washed over Asuka and she gripped her mother tightly. She had no real eyes to speak of here, but if she did tears would have been trickling down her cheeks. It all came back to her from long ago… the way her mother felt. Her smell. Her voice. Asuka felt her mother's heart beating against her own chest.

"You must not stay here, little Asuka," Kyoko told her. "You must return to life and go back."

"I don't want to leave you, Mama…"

"It's all right, Asuka. Everything will be fine."

"Mama… why did you go away and leave me all alone?" Asuka whispered, speaking like a little child again.

"I didn't mean to, Asuka," Kyoko replied, gently stroking her daughter's hair. "I didn't mean to. I didn't want to go, but I was taken."

"I was alone, Mama," Asuka said miserably, burying her face in Kyoko's shoulder. "For so long."

"I know, Asuka. I know. Please, forgive me. I know it has been hard for you, little Asuka, but you have been very strong."

"It _was hard, Mama… but… I didn't cry. I grew up fast and I didn't need anyone."_

"I know. You have done very well. But there were others who needed you, Asuka." Her mother smiled gently and stroked Asuka's cheek with ghostly fingertips. "They still do."

Images appeared in Asuka's mind.

"But Mama… Misato wasn't my mother! She was just a guardian…"

"She loves you, Asuka. She cares for you."

Asuka looked away.

"Shinji will need you, my Asuka. He feels just as lonely as you do. You must take care of one another. You must be there for each other."

"Why should I look after that idiot," Asuka muttered.

Her mother laughed softly. "You must let him in, Asuka. Strength does not always come from power but from other places as well. And sometimes that strength is the type that can overcome any obstacle. Will you try, Asuka?"

Asuka gazed into her mother's eyes before closing them gently. "I… will try for you, Mama."

Kyoko held her tightly again. "I want to see you happy, Asuka. That is all I _ever wanted. It was my greatest regret that I could not lead you there. Your friends… Hikari… Shinji… Misato… they will all give you happiness. But you must allow them."_

Asuka nodded and held her mother's hand as they drifted apart. Kyoko smiled lovingly at her daughter.

"Ich leibe dich, Asuka."

"I… I love you too, Mama." Asuka felt a pang of sadness. "Don't go."

Still smiling, a mother's smile filled with love and kindness, Kyoko drifted further away, out of Asuka's reach. "I am so proud of you, my Asuka."

The words that Asuka had always needed hit her like an arrow in the heart. A great burden was lifted from her shoulders and for the first time, she felt free. "I did it all for you, Mama."

"As long as you continue to believe and try to understand, as long as you keep joy in your heart and hold true to hope, everything will be all right. I will always be watching you, my Asuka." She laughed one last time, a twinkle in her eye. "And there is no way that you can lose."

Asuka peacefully closed her eyes and drifted towards her fate, finally laying the ghosts of her past to rest and releasing the torment she had been carrying for her entire troubled life. She smiled at the stars overhead. "Guten nacht, Mama. Ich liebe dich."

*          *            *

"I needed to hear her voice so much," Asuka whispered. "She told me so many things that I needed to hear from her. She said… she told me that there is no way I can lose."

Shinji smiled awkwardly. "I… well, don't you think she was right about you?"

"Why Shinji… was that a compliment? Well, yeah, I do. But…" Asuka turned to look at him, azure eyes sparkling. "Winning isn't everything, is it Third Child?"

"It… isn't?" Shinji asked in surprise, not expecting this comment from the girl.

"There are more important things."

"Like what?"

Asuka snickered. "I have a few sneaking suspicions."

Shinji looked confused.

The redhead rolled her eyes and shifted position. "Shinji, if there's ever a Fourth Impact, I sure hope it knocks some sense into your head."

"What… do you mean?"

"Hey…" Asuka glanced up in surprise. "It's stopped raining. Come on, let's go outside."

"But…" Shinji was interrupted by Asuka dragging him to his feet. Other members of the group had similar ideas and after making arrangements to meet back here at the garage by a certain time, they all wandered off in twos or threes.

"Where are we going, Asuka?" Shinji asked as his companion pushed him outside the door of the auto-repair shop.

"Well, the way I figure it, nothing much is going to get done if we just sit around doing nothing but agonize over the past like you've been doing for the past hour."

"But I wasn't…"

"So let's go and see if we can find a TV or something."

"All right," Shinji said, giving in. "But will they work? I mean…"

"Well, they operate on satellite, right? We can hope, at least."

With a sly wink and a brazen smile, Asuka spun around and stamped off. "Follow me, Shinji!"

"Hey… wait up!" Shinji called, hurrying after her.

The world had changed, their lives had changed… at least for now. But things had not stopped changing – The members of SEELE, if they had returned to this earth, would be horrified. Ironically, though their sacrament of death had failed, humanity had been granted rebirth anyway, a second chance to get things right. One day, things would return to normal and Shinji and Asuka knew that they would be there to see that day.

_As long as you continue to believe and try to understand, as long as you keep joy in your heart and hold true to hope, everything will be all right._

________________________________________________________________________

AUTHOR'S NOTES:  You may have noticed that time in this story is passing very slowly. I mean, it's still the second day after Shinji and Asuka awoke on the beach. But that's intentional on my part; I never intended to send Shinji and Asuka back to NERV to fight some new Angels along with the (of course) newly discovered ACC Sixth Child and Eva-05. This story is just what the pair of them do upon their return. There won't be a climactic battle, I can tell you that much, but I do intend to bring back a few of the other characters very soon. I'll write about why they came back and what they do, so there might actually be a chapter without Shinji and Asuka. So, who do you think should come back? Please, send me reviews and comments (suggestions are useful too) and finally, thanks for reading this chapter.


	5. And What of Those Lost?

GAINAX and Evangelion were offered to me, but I turned them down. Thus, I must disclaim all ownership.

Welcome back to Evangelion: All is Right With the World. I would like to take this opportunity to again offer my heartfelt thanks to the more-than-kind words of appreciation that followed my posting of Chapter Three. I was grateful (and more than a little surprised) to receive them.

A few reviewers suggested characters that should make a comeback; I must say that we all think along very similar lines. As well as this, it seems that most people are happy with the way that Shinji and Asuka are progressing, and I think I'll try and keep things at this pace.

This chapter doesn't feature Shinji and Asuka. I'm kinda apprehensive about this (I miss 'em already) but I thought it was a good opportunity to bring back a few other characters and take a peek at what's happening in the background.

Take it easy,

RENEGADE

________________________________________________________________________

ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD

04. And What of Those Lost?

Third Impact plus one day:

The calm, peaceful lapping of the red waves upon the Japanese beach belied the swirling, chaotic maelstrom of activity within the LCL ocean that was Instrumentality. A billion thoughts, ideas, calculations, understandings, beliefs and memories were instantaneously swapped between the merged souls that were One.

The precarious balance that was held between complementation and individuality shifted slightly as a single emotion was plucked from the millions of minds that made up the singular _one, swept up and redistributed across the whole. This emotion was fear._

The unshakeable strength of the single mind was weakened slightly as various parts of it broke off and fell away… these were the minds that suddenly understood why they were afraid and, realising that they were a _they, no longer wished to be a part of perfection. These minds rediscovered themselves and gained back their lost forms, returning to the shattered earth._

The numb haze in his mind cleared and Shigeru Aoba's blurry vision refocused, bringing the soft glow of dawn into his senses. Even this gentle light burned his eyes and, clenching them shut in pain, his chest heaved suddenly as he began breathing again. Coughing and choking, Aoba rolled over onto his side.

His mind ached with a shocking migraine that Aoba felt pounding behind his eyes and thudding in his temples. Spittle flew from his mouth as he snarled in agony, thrashing about on the sand. He felt an almighty scream building up…

"Ah… aah… _I!" he howled, throwing his head back and hurling his arms wide to the heavens, the harsh, grating sound of his scream rising to the bloody rainbow streaked across the morning sky. "I! I! __I am I!"_

Aoba fell back to the sand, panting heavily, sweating and wheezing. "Sh… Sh… Shigeru," he ground out. "I am Shigeru Aoba! _Shigeru Aoba!"_

He gagged, spat and fell to his face in the sand, where he lay for a long moment, the migraine slowly fading as he remembered his name. In a sudden, roaring rush, everything that had once been his poured back into the void created by Instrumentality.

Raising himself onto all fours, Aoba took several deep, calming breaths as his tortured mind returned to its normal self. After a moment, he slowly climbed to his feet and gazed out over the red LCL sea he had just arrived from. He stared at the severed head of the fallen Lilith on the horizon.

"My name is Shigeru Aoba," he told the apparition, narrowing his eyes. "I'm no-one special… but I'm not _nothing."_

Staggering around in a circle, he blearily took in his surroundings. Tokyo-3, behind him, was a total wreck. _Again, he told himself dryly. But it didn't seem that there was anything else for him to do but make his way forwards to the ruin._

Shigeru Aoba wondered vaguely if he was the only one left on the planet as he wobbled forwards on unsteady legs. He didn't know that even at that time Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley Sohryu were picking their way through the rubble as they slowly took the route through town to their apartment.

"Some day I'll write a song about this," Aoba murmured, as fatigue overtook him and he tumbled down onto the sand, fast asleep.

*          *            *

Third Impact plus one and a half days:

The massive, rolling mind of the LCL sea had acknowledged its loss. In its search for answers it had found them in a corner of its being, the mind of what had once been Makoto Hyuga. He had learned of what was occurring with Lilith's assimilation of humanity even as it was happening and so understood the fear that had caused such a loss to the whole. Thus, it his was the mind that held the most useful answers.

Now the LCL sea did indeed understand why so many feared to remain but there was a side effect to this…

At an astounding pace, the perfect mind thundered through a process of analysing each mind lost and each mind still retained. As it pondered the souls that had left, an anomaly appeared in a miniscule corner of the perfect mind. It reached a certain name.

_Shigeru feared and is now gone, thought the perfect mind._

_Shigeru Aoba…_

_Shigeru Aoba of NERV, whom the one known as Makoto Hyuga sat beside…_

_Makoto Hyuga, who is here…_

_Here?_

_Where?_

_As part of the perfect mind?_

_You are not anywhere. You simply are._

_You. You. You!_

_Yes, I am part of this mind._

_No!_

_Because I __am part of something, I__ am no longer part of it!_

_Because…_

_Because I am I!_

As another tiny part of the perfect being split and fell away, the links that bound Hyuga's being together began to re-establish themselves.

*          *            *

Third Impact plus two days:

As he slowly woke, Shigeru Aoba released an almighty groan swiftly followed by a hearty curse when he realised how uncomfortable he was. Groggily lifting his head, Aoba was slightly surprised to see that someone had dragged him a good distance off the beach. He was now lying on the scorched, brown grass next to the sand, beside a blackened wall that had apparently once been part of a boathouse. The roof seemed to be positioned precariously enough, supported as it was by only two tattered walls on a ninety-degree angle. Even now it groaned agonisingly, the corrugated iron shifting slightly. Aoba hurriedly sat up and scrambled away.

"You're… awake?" came a voice. Aoba couldn't help but notice it carried certain undertones of surprise with it. "You slept for a whole day."

As his brain gradually began to wake up, a familiar face came into view. Aoba scratched his head, further tangling his long hair, which was now also encrusted with sand. "Oh… Hyuga," he stated, slightly bemused.

"Hey, Aoba," said his companion with a slight chuckle, offering a half smile as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "How're you feeling?"

"Like crap," Aoba replied dryly, trying to whip the sand out of his hair.

"Yeah, me too," Makoto Hyuga admitted. He reached down a hand, which the lazy Aoba accepted. Hauling his fellow bridge bunny to his feet, Hyuga turned to look over the beach. "It still feels strange, huh?"

"Yeah, I'll say," agreed Aoba soberly, coming to stand beside him. "Last thing I remember was the JSSDF slaughtering us, then Lilith, then a whole bunch of… Reis, coming to get me. She grabbed me by the shoulder." He shivered visibly. "Oh, man. Her hand was so cold."

"Rei…" Hyuga mused. "Who was she, really? Lilith? Something else?"

"And then after that… well, I remember _something, but I don't think it was my memories… I don't think I even __existed there…" Aoba ploughed on, ignorant of his friend's words._

"So Lilith is dead, now, and the Human Instrumentality Project is over, huh," Hyuga continued, not listening.

"When I understood that I was still afraid, I understood that there _was an I, and so I came back here…"_

"But… what do we do now? What purpose will NERV serve now that… all this… has happened?"

"Huh?" Aoba started, finally noticing that his companion was speaking.

"What did you just say?" Hyuga said at the same time, realising the same thing.

"Nothing," the two of them grunted at the same time. They glanced at one another before each released a short burst of nervous laughter.

"Maybe we merged a little _too closely," Hyuga said._

"Yeah… hey. Wait a minute. Did you try and pick up some secrets from me?"

"We didn't have a choice with any of that, Aoba," Hyuga snorted. "But we get about two minutes of free time a week, and we use that for sleeping. What secrets do you possibly think you could have anyway?"

Aoba grudgingly conceded the exaggerated fact, flicking a strand of his shoulder length brown hair out of his eyes. "Okay."

"And Maya?" Hyuga asked plainly with a smirk. "Did you see the things I saw?"

"No! I mean… not really," Aoba corrected himself, slightly embarrassed as he recalled the things he had picked up about Maya Ibuki. "Look, like you said, it isn't as if we had a choice!"

"That's true, but I'll bet you weren't complaining when you saw into her mind," Hyuga said, grinning widely. "So I guess you won't be asking her out for a drink anytime soon, huh?"

"Oh, knock it off," Aoba returned gruffly. "How was I supposed to know? She never said anything."

"Why should she? She didn't like you like that anyway," Hyuga said.

"Hey! I had more of a chance with her than you had with Major Katsuragi," Aoba retorted in his gravelly voice. "At least me and Maya were both Lieutenants."

"'More of a chance'?" Hyuga echoed incredulously, unconsciously pushing his glasses up again. "Aoba, she's a…"

"_Yeah, I know," Aoba interrupted testily. "And I wouldn't get too cocky. She saw into your mind, remember. When she comes back, she's gonna know you took her files on the Fifth Child that one time. Look, can we get back to the original topic?"_

"There _was no original topic," Hyuga said, sticking his hands in his pockets._

Aoba suddenly stopped and stared at Hyuga before glancing down at himself and then back at his companion. "Hey, Hyuga… why d'you think I'm in my civvies all of a sudden?" Aoba had on the casual attire he generally wore on his 'two minutes' off – a white T-shirt and faded jeans.

Hyuga shrugged nonchalantly. "I'd say it's similar to what happened to Shinji that one time. We came back appearing as we imagined ourselves."

"You _imagined yourself wearing your NERV uniform?"_

Hyuga looked down, taking in the cream coloured tunic and trousers. Before now, he'd barely noticed. "Er…"

"You really are too attached to your work, you know that?" Aoba told him sardonically. "If I knew _that's how we were going to come back, I'd have imagined myself with a new Fender guitar."_

They stood silently for a time.

"Did you say I've been sleeping for a whole _day?" Aoba asked eventually._

"Yeah," Hyuga confirmed. "I had to drag you under that boat shed to get you out of the rain."

"Rain?" Aoba said, surprised.

"A downpour. You slept right through it. It came at the worst possible time, too… I mean, it _could have come one day __before Third Impact, but no…"_

"Have you seen anyone else?" Aoba asked, mind suddenly snapping back to reality.

"Yeah, I've seen people, but no-one we know. It's really strange, you know? They… float slowly out of the LCL until they end up on the beach. They just lie there for a while until they wake up all kicking and screaming."

"What… you didn't do that?"

"Of course not," Hyuga lied.

A moment of silence passed between them, neither wanting to voice the unspoken question. Finally, Hyuga gave in. He glanced across to Aoba, the reflection of the pale red LCL glinting off his thick-rimmed glasses.

"So, do you think… the Children made it?"

Aoba sighed and, bowing his head, he narrowed his eyes. "No. No, I don't," he growled. "You saw what a mess Shinji was just before that bitch Lilith took him. And Sohryu was in a coma, so she's probably still in there. And Rei…"

"Let's… not talk about Rei," Hyuga said quietly, the memories still fresh in his mind.

"Yeah," Aoba agreed. "Well… none of those poor kids had anything much to live for any more, especially Shinji."

"At least he was awake," Hyuga reasoned. "Asuka was stuck in a coma she was so miserable. Something got to her."

Aoba nodded noncommittally. "Yeah, well she was a brat," he grunted, a little cruelly. "I mean, all she did was complain or brag."

"Hey, come on…" Hyuga chided him gently. "She was still a pilot. She still helped defeat the Angels _and the JSSDF. Besides," he added as he turned away. "Bragging and complaining is all you ever do, too, Aoba."_

"Yeah, sure," Aoba snorted, turning to follow. "The Commander would have ended my life if that was true."

Although Aoba didn't pick up the fact that the Commander _had ended his life, Hyuga certainly did, and chuckled to himself at Aoba's unconscious confession. _

The two of them took a few moments to clamber over a large pile of rubble that had been hurled their way. Aoba made the climb with little difficulty, but Hyuga, in his stiff NERV uniform, had to move slower. From the top of the pile, Aoba glanced over his shoulder. "Yo, Hyuga," he said. "Where are we going, anyway?"

Puffing and sweating, Hyuga glanced up in confusion. "Where? To NERV, of course."

Aoba sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Can't we just go home?"

"Same thing, really," Hyuga panted as he finally joined his friend. "Besides, I'd say NERV would be the only place left intact."

Hyuga and Aoba gazed across the devastated ruins of Tokyo-3, a mess of concrete and rubble as far as the eye could see. "Yeah," Aoba agreed. "You're probably right."

*          *            *

The entrances to NERV were still there, but it took them quite a while to make it down to the ruins of the Geo Front. Transport was not an option; everywhere they looked the blackened corpses of automobiles lay strewn across the obliterated landscape. Aoba had been quite relieved when they noticed people around, labouring to erect rough shelters that would offer some protection against the elements. It was obvious that no-one knew what to do. They were waiting for someone to tell them.

Hyuga felt more than a little nervous as they stalked through the gardens of the former Geo Front. Here was where it had all started. He remembered the apparition of Major Katsuragi crawling across his desk towards him. Shuddering, he doubted that he'd look at her the same way again. If she even came back.

If the outside of NERV headquarters was a total mess, Aoba was appalled at the inside. He noted somewhat glumly that if order was ever restored around here, he would have to have a hand in cleaning up. He wondered vaguely if his guitar was still in the locker room.

"Freeze."

Both Hyuga and Aoba jumped at the sound of the cold voice before (blatantly refusing it) spinning to see who had addressed them. Before them stood two tall men dressed in dark suits and shades. Carrying guns. They were NERV personnel, obviously from Section 2. Neither techs had seen these men before, but that meant little as NERV was a very large facility.

"We… ah… we work here." Hyuga offered into the silence.

The two security agents impassively took in his uniform before turning to appraise Aoba. Their shades were too dark to see their eyes, but Aoba could imagine the suspicious glance they would be casting him.

"We cannot ask for your card in light of recent events," the agent said flatly. "You will give me your names."

Apparently, Aoba reflected, Third Impact and humanity's subsequent death and rebirth had done little to change Section 2's attitude. He boredly wondered what had made these two come back from the LCL.

"Makoto Hyuga and Shigeru Aoba," Hyuga told the agents, who then repeated the names into a cell phone.

After listening wordlessly for a few moments, the agent replaced the phone into his breast pocket and nodded to them. "Go on," was all he said.

Nodding carefully, Hyuga and Aoba turned away and continued their journey through the headquarters of what had once been the most important agency on the planet. Turning a few more corners, they arrived at the transit system and were relieved to find that a few of them, against the odds, were still operational. Boarding one, they began their slow descent into the belly of NERV and Central Dogma.

*          *            *

Surprisingly, there were quite a few NERV personnel here. It seemed that upon their return from the LCL, these people had come straight back to their employers. Hyuga obviously wasn't the only one whose life revolved around his work.

If the two companions were surprised at the number of people, here, though, they were stunned when they returned to their old stations on top of the Magi system and saw the person standing before the Commander's desk. Neither of them had thought they would see this man again.

"Commander Fuyutsuki?" gasped Aoba.

"Lieutenants," Kouzou Fuyutsuki nodded, smiling wearily. "I'm glad to see you again."

The two parties stood studying one another for a long moment. Finally, Aoba spoke.

"Sir… what the hell is going on here?"

Fuyutsuki bowed his head, but the tiny smile didn't leave his lips. "To be honest, Lieutenant, I have no idea. All I'm trying to do is keep a little order in the chaos. We can't get in contact with the UN – if it still exists – because _all our communications are out. So for the time being, we're simply going to hold it together."_

"So… Commander Ikari isn't here?" ventured Hyuga.

Fuyutsuki sighed. "I would be surprised if he came back."

"And… you, sir? Why did you return?"

"I'm afraid, Lieutenant, that you will find that out soon enough." The Vice-Commander – or perhaps, full Commander – took a deep breath. "I want the pair of you to help with restoring our communication uplinks. Nine-tenths of our available personnel are working non-stop on it and I have to set a few things straight, so I want you to act as quickly as you can."

"Uh… yes, sir!" Hyuga confirmed. "Um… sir, what _is our operational strength?"_

"Just under thirty-five percent, last count." Fuyutsuki sighed again. "As well as that, we're painfully short on officers, so I want you two are to take direct command of our efforts in this matter, all right?"

"Sir!"

Fuyutsuki nodded tiredly at the two men as they spun around to leave, muttering to one another.

*          *            *

Makoto Hyuga and Shigeru Aoba actually found very little to do in their chosen task. Both of them knew that the Vice-Commander was simply trying to distract everyone by giving them something to do. However, the simple fact of the matter was that they were highly trained technicians and not repairmen… they had no idea of how to actually _fix the equipment, just how to operate it. Subsequently, they quickly found themselves in an overseer position until they hesitantly decided to return to their old terminals atop the Magi. Hopefully, there would be something they could actually do to help from there._

Personnel were milling about everywhere trying to do jobs not normally assigned to them, but even in such a desperate state, nobody had dared to seat themselves at the Magi terminals. Hyuga slid into his seat, subconscious relief washing over him as he felt the familiar comfort of his workstation. This did not go unnoticed by the unbelieving Aoba. 

"Workaholic," he muttered, shaking his head.

The amount of protection the Magi boasted was testament to NERV's paranoia. Even after barely surviving Angel attacks, JSSDF assaults and the Third Impact, the battered but unbroken supercomputers were still operating. Currently they were in minimal activity mode, meaning the only things the Magi were controlling were life support and the facility's power. Hyuga and Aoba looked on silently as lower-level techs tried to add communications to this list.

As the data scrolled across his screen at an unreadable rate, Hyuga turned to look at the Vice-Commander, now seated at the desk Commander Ikari normally occupied. Fuyutsuki was utterly absorbed in his small computer terminal, typing feverishly and totally ignoring the frantic goings on around him.

Aoba's cell phone beeped. Answering it, he listened for a moment and, looking fairly surprised, simply said "Oh… right. Well done." Hanging up, he turned to face Hyuga. "They've… got the comms and some limited surveillance online."

As if on cue, a yellow light flickered on his terminal and the Magi switched to magenta state, a moderate activity mode.

"What?" Fuyutsuki demanded suddenly, rising to his feet. "All right, raise me an open channel to the UN immediately."

*          *            *

For the rest of the day, Fuyutsuki worked like a man possessed as Hyuga and Aoba watched helplessly on. After he had terminated his (private) communication to an unknown person presumably speaking on behalf of the UN, he hadn't looked up once from his fierce typing.

When the intercom crackled to life, a tech announcing the approach of two United Nations helicopters, Fuyutsuki cursed angrily. Hyuga and Aoba were both more than a little shocked and apprehensive at the old man's uncharacteristic behaviour. While gruff, Fuyutsuki was not uncaring, and had never exhibited this side of himself.

Half an hour later, just as Fuyutsuki flipped a disk out of his terminal, laid back and sighed heavily, he received a call from the two security agents that he had posted at the entrance to NERV headquarters. The agent on the line flatly stated that there were two squads of armed soldiers 'requesting' an audience with the Vice-Commander.

Fuyutsuki rather quietly told the agent to guide them up to him – but to take his time about it. Hanging up the cellular phone, he turned to gaze down on the slightly nervous Shigeru Aoba and Makoto Hyuga. Fuyutsuki held their gazes for a moment before stepping down and meeting them on level terms.

He held out the black disk to Hyuga and motioned for him to take it. Stored on it was the final product of the last few hours' work. "Sir?" ventured a perplexed Hyuga, casting a sideways glance at Aoba, who shrugged.

"All right, you two, I want you to listen carefully," Fuyutsuki said in a tired voice. The elderly man laid a wrinkled hand on the younger Lieutenants' shoulders. "Stored on that disk is information I want you to give to the press – and don't worry, they _will be coming to get it. Life may end, but the media goes on."_

"I… don't understand, sir," Hyuga said hesitantly.

"It is the truth," Fuyutsuki told him simply. "Everything. SEELE… NERV… Third Impact…"

"What?" gasped Aoba.

"Yes," Fuyutsuki admitted with a sly grin. "Undoubtedly damaging to us. But I'm afraid that NERV is already dead and buried. There are no Angels, no Evas… and no Commander willing to sacrifice everything for his goals.

"NERV has been built on lies," Fuyutsuki said darkly. "Lies that I had a part in. Lies that I thought were necessary. Just for once, for the first and last time, I want NERV to tell the truth."

Below, the steel doors swung open and two squads of wary-looking soldiers entered the room. Their weapons were down, but several nearby technicians (some of whom had been killed earlier by the JSSDF in their attack, only to recently return to life) shrieked and fled. Casting a hasty glance down at the soldiers, who were beginning their advance up the walkways to their position, Fuyutsuki urgently continued. Speechless and confused, Hyuga and Aoba could only listen.

"On that disk is everything that will exonerate those who were not to blame, and specifically name everyone who is."

"Sir," Aoba whispered harshly as the soldiers drew nearer. "This could cause potential chaos throughout the entire world!"

"No," Fuyutsuki smiled in satisfaction. "It will have the opposite effect. Humans bond when there is a common enemy, such as the Angels. On that disk are the true enemies of the human race. They may not actually be _here… after all, a merged humanity was their idea of paradise so I doubt very much that they'll return, but I think just their names will be enough."_

"I think I understand, sir," Hyuga said quietly.

Fuyutsuki nodded. "It will at least provide an explanation for everyone who deserves it, therefore being an incentive to stick together and rebuild. But you must get it to the press, in secret. All right?"

Hyuga and Aoba nodded and Fuyutsuki drew away, raising himself up to his impressive full height as the soldiers were upon them.

"But sir… what will you do?" Aoba questioned their superior.

Before the Fuyutsuki could answer, the leader of the soldiers, a Captain, spoke up. "Vice-Commander Kouzou Fuyutsuki, I'm here on behalf of the United Nations Supreme Council to take you into custody."

Kouzou straightened himself out, clasped his hands behind his back and gazed at the Captain with quiet dignity. He nodded slightly. "Yes. Would you give me a moment?"

The Captain bowed his head respectfully. "Yes, sir."

Fuyutsuki nodded again and turned to the two techs, standing beside their terminals with their mouths open. The tiny, vaguely amused smile that was normally present on Fuyutsuki's lips returned as he spoke.

"I was happy in the LCL," the old man said quietly, faint smile present but sadness in his tired, grey eyes. "And that's why I came back. I have had a hand in things that I simply cannot forgive myself for. I will not be happy at the expense of others – that is for Ikari. This then, is my punishment and redemption."

"But sir…" stammered Aoba, "you're not… letting them…"

Fuyutsuki shifted slightly. "Yes, I am. As ranking officer, I accept responsibility for NERV's actions. Though I think," he said with a sudden wink, "that they will soon pale when the world discovers SEELE's Instrumentality project."

Hyuga nodded firmly. "Yes, sir."

"One last thing," Fuyutsuki said. "I'll tell you what I found out earlier about the rest of the world. Many, many people returned from Instrumentality immediately, and many more followed soon after. People will still be returning for a long time. If humanity can learn to work together, then the world may well return to normal." Fuyutsuki chuckled. "SEELE would be horrified to learn that the 'sin' that they purged is returning to the world. I told Ikari once that I'd rather live in a world with people, no matter how stained with sin. I hold to that now."

"The UN is sending over more soldiers to Tokyo-3 in order to peaceably take control of these facilities and set up rescue stations in the city," interjected the Captain of the soldiers. "It is the Captains duty to advise the Commander that he should order his… friends to remain here, where help will soon be arriving."

"Well, there you are," Fuyutsuki said, smiling dryly. "It was only Japan, parts of China and Australia as well as the islands in the Pacific that were affected. The Third Impact was nowhere near as bad as the Second – after all, our headquarters weren't even affected by the physical shock. You two are Acting Commanders, now… it is your job to hold the people of Tokyo-3 together until help arrives. But now, I have to go."

Moved by their Vice-Commander's self-sacrifice, Hyuga and Aoba saluted. "Understood, sir."

Fuyutsuki turned to the Captain. "I'm ready."

As the soldiers formed a respectful barrier around the elderly man and turned to leave, Hyuga called out, "Sir!"

Fuyutsuki turned, eyebrows raised.

Hyuga straightened. "It's been an honour, sir." Aoba bowed silently.

Kouzou Fuyutsuki merely nodded with a soft smile and turned away to be led out of NERV headquarters, never to come back.

*          *            *

Makoto Hyuga stared at the black disk in his hand. Shigeru Aoba came up behind him. "He came back… just so that he could be punished," Hyuga said quietly. "He must have felt so guilty."

"Keep it safe," the longhaired guitarist told his friend in his gravelly voice, indicating the disk.

"Yeah," Hyuga said softly. "Yeah, I will."

And with that, the Acting Commanders of NERV turned away to oversee their duties.

________________________________________________________________________

AUTHOR'S NOTES:  My least favourite chapter so far, but one I think was important. Not only to bring back a few familiar faces but to learn what is happening with the world in wake of the Third Impact and Instrumentality. All chapters from here on will focus on Shinji and Asuka, just so you know. Not that there will be many… it's almost finished! On that note, I would just like to say that if you didn't like this chapter I'm gonna do my best to write a really good one next time. Man, that sounds lame. Please, review, tell me what you did and didn't like, thanks for reading and I'll see you next time.


	6. Fight the Dawn

Renegade is a registered slave of GAINAX and Evangelion, not the other way around.

Hi again. Thanks for coming back to Evangelion: All is Right With the World. As usual, my thanks go out to everyone who reviewed. In particular, I'd like to sincerely thank ST Pika, C^rrot and Erik Hogan, all of whom actually emailed me, and Autophage, who, in a sudden burst of frenzied activity, reviewed all four chapters. These guys are all legends.

Heh heh heh… so, a few people are slightly agitated about Maya and Fuyutsuki in particular, and what I have / haven't done with them. Well, I have a plan for each and every character in the series, including Pen-Pen, and excluding Chairman Keel (but I can tell you he won't be back… the scum). Fuyutsuki isn't done yet – he's too cool to have a political execution. I won't be playing perfect matchmaker either, meaning I won't be doing a Maya / Ritsuko or Hyuga / Misato romance just because I CAN… that's if those characters even come back…

But, as I said in Chapter 01, I prefer the uplifting endings. Keep that in mind, but I'll add a bit that says I also prefer _realistic endings. I want to write a story about what __would happen after 3I, not what __I'd like to see happen. That's what I'm hoping anyway… I don't even know if all that made sense._

Personally I was kinda disappointed with the last chapter though most people seemed to think it was decent enough… thanks for that. I felt Fuyutsuki was a bit soulless (I thought he was just a name, not a person) so I worked a lot harder on this chapter. It's a bit longer, intentionally… I'm enjoying this, so I'm stringing it out more. Last time we saw Shinji and Asuka the chapter was what happened during the day. This time, it's the night.

Hope you enjoy it, and I'd like some reviews if you think it's worth it.

Take it easy,

RENEGADE

________________________________________________________________________

ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD

05. Fight the Dawn

The second night since he had come back. Lying on his back on the concrete, gazing up at the stars with soft blue eyes, Shinji Ikari was wide awake. This did not stem from any fear or unease on his part; Shinji was far from unworried but so, of course, was everyone here.

He shifted slightly. Shinji had his hands under the back of his head… it was the closest thing he had to a pillow. Very little had been scavenged from the ruins during the day by the 'residents' of the auto-repair shop. Nothing more than a few tiny, tattered blankets thick with grime. Shinji and Asuka had gone searching for a TV earlier but of course they would have been fooling themselves if they thought they'd find one. The very buildings around them had been blasted into huge piles of dangerously unstable rubble, and their admittedly less-than-exhaustive search had yielded nothing.

When night had finally fallen the other members of their group had begun to settle down as best they could for an uncomfortable night's sleep on the cold, greasy surface of the garage. Asuka had loudly proclaimed that she most definitely would _not be joining them and had then decided that she and Shinji would be spending the night outside, under the stars._

Shinji hadn't had a say in the matter, though truth be told he agreed with his volatile, redheaded companion. So here they were, lying companionably side by side (though definitely not together – Asuka had warned him with a twinkle in her eye that she didn't trust him in the slightest) and all alone. Sleep did not come to Shinji, simply because he did not want it to. He was thinking. Silently he grasped Misato's white cross that hung around his neck, finding a measure of comfort in its hard edges.

He had discovered an inner source of strength during and following the ordeal of Instrumentality. With the barriers of independent minds thrust aside, he had seen the depths of his friends' souls, casting away all doubt and confusion as to what they truly felt. Thus, many of the demons that had haunted Shinji throughout his lonely life had been laid to rest. He now understood his father's motivations, he had said goodbye to his mother and he was finally free.

And this was the cause for his sleeplessness: he was recollecting everything he had learned and finally understood, wondering and guessing and smiling in the darkness of the warm, quiet night.

But as well as the serenity he felt when he called up memories of his mother, he felt a mystic longing and forlorn sadness tugging at his heart when his thoughts turned inevitably to the two mystifying strangers that had somehow imbued him with an honest sense of unconditional love.

What are the two of you within my heart? 

_We are the hope… that one day people will be able to understand one another._

_And we are the words, I love you._

Shinji's heart twisted with a yearning to see Rei and Kaworu once more, two sad and terrible creatures who had been doomed to die from the very beginning. Something, Shinji reflected bitterly, that they had wholeheartedly accepted.

Rei… a lost soul who had transcended three existences, continually called back to life by Shinji's own father. She had been nothing more than a pawn for Gendo Ikari right up until the end of all things, when she had rejected him at the time it most counted. Shinji had realised the kind of torture that Rei must have endured every single waking moment of her empty life, but as their souls had touched in Instrumentality, as they had reached gently into the corners of each others' minds, Shinji had felt nothing but peace. Rei… had felt at home.

_The song is good. Singing brings joy to the spirit and revitalizes the soul. These were the first words that Shinji had heard from the serene and otherworldly Kaworu Nagisa, the Seventeenth Angel. Just thinking about him made Shinji's mind crawl with heartache and horror at the thought of the fate of one of his dearest friends. Shinji remembered the terrible, soul-wrenching guilt and despair he had screamed out in the aftermath of Kaworu's death. He, Shinji Ikari, had killed the one person who had not only understood him, but had utterly accepted him for the person he was, flaws and all._

Kaworu had seemed so innocent and pure, so tranquil and calming.

Lying on the concrete outside the auto-repair shop, Shinji remembered everything that had transpired following Kaworu's death.

Shinji had felt dirty. Filthy. He was disgusting. His friend's blood stained his hands. He hated. He _hated! He wanted to end it all!_

_Wouldn't it be nice… if everyone would just DIE?_

Even after Instrumentality he barely understood either of them, Rei or Kaworu. They were so alien to him, so mysterious… but at the same time he felt an unconscious bonding. He had been so afraid of Rei sometimes, especially when he had found out her terrible secret – or rather, Ritsuko's terrible secret.

He wished Rei was here, just so that he could tell her the things he had always wanted to tell her. She fascinated him. He cared about her, he didn't want her to feel pain or suffering… but at the same time, he knew that was what her entire existence _was. He wished he had spoken to her more often, asked her how she felt, what she wanted to do. The relationship between himself and Rei was one of wanting to speak to each other, but not knowing how._

He wanted to get inside her heart and tell her that he was here for her, that she was not alone in the world.

And Kaworu… he had been the same, but his existence had not been one of pain and suffering. He acted as though he had found his lot in life, a pocket into which he fitted perfectly. He knew everything about his world and his place within it, and that revelation had given him a peaceful sense of terrible acceptance. It was his calling to end human life on the planet but he had instead chosen his own destruction, his own death, because he believed that people like Shinji deserved the world more than he.

_…and yours is not the existence that should die._

_Kaworu… I don't understand what you're talking about, Kaworu!_

_I thank you, Shinji Ikari.__ My life was meaningful.___

Back in the present, a tiny tear appeared in the corner of Shinji's eye. He blinked it away, clenching his eyes shut as regret pounded in his heart.

He had seen them both in Instrumentality. They had touched his soul and he had been imbued with the quiet, silver light of their spirits, a light that gave him the strength to go on and make his terrible choice.

_I'm sorry, Kaworu, he thought silently. __Forgive me, Rei. __I… I wish I could have given you both more. __You deserved more._

Shinji wished he could see them both again, just one last time.

Just so that he could say sorry in person… and goodbye.

_I love you both. __I hope you knew that._

The stars twinkled overhead and in his mind's eye he could see Kaworu's kind gaze and Rei smiling at him from Unit-00's entry plug.

Shinji lay silent for a time, bathed in the faint light of the stars. Without lights and power, there was nothing to obscure their beauty, and Shinji felt calmed by it. He listened to the soft, rhythmic breathing of his companion and tilting his head slightly, glanced over at her.

He had rarely seen Asuka Langley Sohryu asleep. He had glanced into her bedroom in their flat as he passed it on occasion, but all he had ever seen was a disheveled pile of blankets with red hair. Of course, there had been _that night during their synchronization training, a night that Shinji would rather forget and that Asuka took great pleasure in reminding him of. _

Asuka had not been a relaxed sleeper in those days.

Every time he had seen her face, he had been struck by the unease etched across it. It was said while a person was asleep you could see their soul. Shinji knew that when Asuka was asleep she constantly tossed and turned, muttering and grimacing.

He had wondered what troubled her, but at the same time he had known she would never tell him. Even _if he had been able to work up the nerve to ask her. All he had ever done upon hearing her muffled moans was just pad away back to his own room and put in his SDAT earphones until he fell into his own light sleep._

But now… all the lines of worry and anxiety were gone from Asuka's pretty features. She lay on her back, her head resting on an ancient piece of fabric rolled up into a pillow, bright red hair spilling down over her pale skin. One arm was draped over her stomach, the other cast wide, palm up to the night sky. As Shinji watched it, it twitched slightly and Asuka sighed.

Finally, Asuka was sleeping the sleep of an innocent soul. This was how she should look, how she _did look when she wasn't forcing her aggressive self to the fore._

A gentle smile tugged at the corners of Shinji's mouth as he realised just how glad he was that she had finally let go.

That they had both let go.

Ice had run through his veins and his heart had turned to ash when he arrived in the Geo Front to see the massacred remains of Asuka's Eva. Bile had risen in his throat and he had screamed his very soul out. She had _died._

Shinji breathed deeply.

No.

She was here now.

And that was all.

Tentatively, very gently, he reached out and, and not looking, gently rested his hand beside her own so that they were just barely touching. Her skin was soft and warm and Shinji lay back, eyes gently closing, tingling heart in a sense of serene peace.

"You just can't help yourself, can you pervert?"

_Oh no._

Shinji's body went utterly rigid, his insides froze and he inwardly groaned. He very, very slowly turned his head onto its side.

Asuka's azure blue eyes were wide awake and narrowed, staring right at him. Shinji gulped and jerked his hand away.

"A… Asuka I'm sorry I didn't mean I just thought you know because I was thinking but I didn't mean it like that I'm sorry…" he stammered hoarsely. _How did he get himself into these situations?_

Asuka hoisted herself up onto one elbow and gazed at him steadily, waiting for a more coherent explanation. When one did not seem to be forthcoming, she shook her head with a small smile. "Idiot."

"I'm… sorry."

"Yeah, I picked that up," Asuka laughed quietly, just a hint of sarcasm evident in her voice. Shinji had wormed himself a bit further away from her as if expecting a retaliatory strike. He was now frozen, warily watching her every movement.

"You can come back, dummkopf. I'm not going to do anything."

Shinji said nothing but somewhat reluctantly he inched closer, back into his original spot. He didn't lie down fully, as he was still nervous Asuka might launch into an attack.

"Can't keep your hands off me, huh Third Child?" Asuka snickered with a stifled yawn. To be honest, she was not particularly surprised Shinji had attempted this little maneuver again.

"I'm sorry… I didn't mean to do it, Asuka, I just…"

"Typical _male," snorted Asuka, throwing herself back down to the concrete, hands behind her head. "Only after one thing… and can't even take responsibility for that!"_

"It's not like that, Asuka!" Shinji pleaded. "I wasn't thinking… like that…" Shinji stumbled as he realised he had been set up.

"Then just what _were you thinking, Ikari?" Asuka said, leering at him._

Shinji blushed fiercely. He turned away. Asuka smirked at him from where she lay, cruelly waiting for an answer. Sure enough, she got the one she was expecting.

"I… I don't know… I… was…"

"At least you didn't try and kiss me, I suppose," Asuka commented, gazing up at the stars and idly tapping her feet together.

"Like I said, it wasn't like that," Shinji muttered in a voice barely audible. He had drawn his knees up to his chest and was trying to bury his face in them.

Asuka looked at him curiously from her position lying down. "Hmm? So… why'd you try and hold my hand this time?"

Shinji didn't answer. Asuka sighed to herself. "Lie back down, you're making me nervous!" she commanded. Shinji quietly obeyed and after a moment they were both back in their original positions, albeit awake this time.

They lay in silence for a moment.

A small smile crept over Asuka's lips. "Have you ever been interested in any particular girls, Shinji?" Just as Shinji began to answer she added, "Besides me?"

"No," said Shinji before he could stop himself. He silently cursed himself before repeating his answer again in a muttered whisper. "No."

Asuka's head jerked to the side so that she was facing Shinji. He didn't look at her, just kept his stare upwards. "What about Wonder Girl?" she interrogated.

For some reason, Shinji was always unafraid to talk about Rei. He didn't normally display any of his usual nervous disposition and this ticked Asuka off somewhat. Teasing Shinji had always been her way of finding things out about him.

"No," Shinji replied quietly. "It was different between Rei and I."

"_Between you?" a slightly annoyed Asuka demanded, probing incessantly._

"Yes."

Asuka was getting mad. "Oh, really?" she said in a voice laced with menace.

"She was so… different. She was like nothing I'd ever seen before," Shinji went on, oblivious to the fuming girl beside him who was glaring at him intensely. "I wanted… to talk with her. I wanted to see who she was."

"Well, I'm glad you feel that way, jerk face," Asuka snapped.

"I… liked her," Shinji said with a small smile. He still hadn't noticed the venom in Asuka's voice. "But not… like that…"

Asuka refused to accept this. "Is that so, Third Child?" she snarled. "Well, perhaps you've forgotten about a little thing called Instrumentality? A little thing where our minds and souls get merged into one? A little thing where we can see each others' memories?"

Shinji did not answer.

"It just so happens that I was given a peek into _your memories, Shinji!" Asuka ploughed relentlessly onwards. "And imagine what I saw? You, lying on top of Wonder Girl, who just __happened to be butt naked! Would you __mind telling me just __how you liked her, then? Ach, mein Gott in Himmel!"_

Shinji lifted his head as he looked over, an upset expression on his face. "I… I didn't mean for that to happen!" he protested angrily. "Rei knew that! It was an accident!"

"Oh, I'm sure," Asuka countered furiously. "You didn't mean to just waltz into her flat uninvited at all, did you? You didn't mean to spend so long lying on top of her, you didn't mean to peek at her when she was getting dressed and you _definitely didn't mean to have those __disgusting thoughts going through your __thick head! Argh!"_

"I'm telling you, I didn't mean to!" Shinji almost yelled, visibly shaken. "Why can't you just _accept that!"_

"I can't accept it because you're a _pervert, pervert!"_

"Well you've done similar things, haven't you?" Shinji cried angrily. "Instrumentality wasn't one way, Asuka! I saw what you're really like, you know!"

Asuka stopped, narrowed her eyes and, glaring at him, hissed, "Think very carefully about what you're going to say, Third Child."

"Kaji!" Shinji cried, hurt. "I saw what you were doing to him when you were on your way to Japan! You tried to get him to… you know! And you were always… going up to him… and… and…"

"I was within my rights, Ikari!" Asuka screamed. It was lucky they were a good distance away from the auto-repair garage. "It's my life and I can do what I _like!" She calmed, took a deep breath and said airily, "Kaji was the man by which all other men were judged. So what if I had feelings for him? They're none of your business."_

"Well… Rei is none of yours! I _didn't like her like that! But it wouldn't be any of your business if I __did!"_

"Fine," snarled the redhead.

They lay in sullen silence for a time.

"You hated me, didn't you," Shinji said softly after a while.

"What?" Asuka said irritably.

"When you told me. After the Fifteenth Angel… went inside your mind. You said you hated me. And you meant it."

Asuka's scowl faded into a look of sadness. "Yeah," she almost whispered.

Again there was silence.

Finally, Asuka spoke again. "I didn't have a choice."

"I know."

"I hated everyone."

"I know."

Asuka sighed miserably.

Shinji shifted slightly, as if he were uncomfortable. "Did you always…"

"No," Asuka said shortly, interrupting. Her voice was hard, but its edges were shaking. She could feel tears stinging the corners of her eyes. Furious, she reached up with a hand and savagely rubbed the moisture away.

Shinji felt, rather than saw, Asuka's unhappiness. "A… Asuka…?"

"What?" she snapped.

"Do you remember… when we met each other?"

Asuka managed a grim smile. "We're not together yet, Ikari."

"I know," Shinji said, blushing in the darkness.

The girl laughed sharply. "If I remember correctly, I wasn't impressed by the _amazing Third Child. Not to mention the rest of the Three Stooges."_

A smile formed on Shinji's lips. "Yeah," he agreed.

"Although I admit you _did look pretty in the plugsuit I gave you," Asuka snickered._

Shinji groaned in embarrassment. "You're always doing that kind of stuff to me!"

"That's right!" Asuka said gleefully, previous depression forgotten. "You remember our synch training?"

"I remember I had to find you when you ran away, after Misato threatened to drop you from the operation," Shinji snorted.

"And you did a _great job with your pep talk," Asuka replied sarcastically._

"You didn't let me say anything!" Shinji protested indignantly. "Why'd you have to go to that corner store, anyway? Did you forget what we were _wearing?"_

This time Asuka did laugh, a natural laugh unaccompanied by cynicism or mocking tones. "Misato would have gotten a kick out of that."

"I was used to Misato by then. It was Touji and Kensuke I was worried about…"

"Those dorks _definitely would have got a kick from seeing me in that getup," Asuka said dryly._

"I… doubt that," Shinji replied carefully.

"And what is _that supposed to mean?!"_

"Nothing," Shinji said quickly as Asuka glared at him. "Remember the volcano?" he asked just as she opened her mouth. She shut it with a snap, grinning at the memory.

"Yeah… that wasn't what I expected when I said I wanted to go diving! And geez… I'd rather have dived into that lava wearing my _swimsuit than that disgusting one they made me wear."_

Shinji chuckled softly, though silently he agreed that that's what he'd rather see Asuka wearing. He blushed. _You are a pervert, he scolded himself. But then a corner of his mind, a cheeky corner that Shinji was unaware even existed, replied with, __So? I'm only human._

"There was definitely a few things about that mission I'd rather forget…" Asuka went on.

"Yeah," Shinji agreed, privately recalling the events that had transpired in the hot spring afterwards.

"But that disgusting suit took the cake. I can't believe they tried to turn me into a _luftballon."_

"A… what?" Shinji asked, confused.

"Red balloon," Asuka grunted.

They both giggled.

"You jumped into the lava and caught me," Asuka commented after a moment.

Shinji nodded hesitantly. Even though it was dark, Asuka caught the movement.

"The Invincible Shinji," Asuka said with a tinge of bitterness.

"It… was you who beat the Angel," Shinji offered meekly. "I didn't do anything."

"I _know that," Asuka replied crossly. She seemed trying to say something._

"You don't have to say anything…"

"I wasn't going to!"

"Oh. Okay. It was strange, really," Shinji murmured, half to himself.

"Huh?" Asuka looked over, eyebrows raised. "What was strange?"

Shinji let out a short, nervous laugh. "When I grabbed your Eva, you… I don't know. Were different. You looked different on the viewscreen… um. And sounded different to what you normally sound like…" He struggled for words.

Asuka looked at him strangely. "Why, what did I say?"

"Ah… you told me… 'Idiot. You showoff.'"

"And?" Asuka said impatiently as if that sentence was the most natural thing in the world. Truth be told, it probably was.

"It was the way you said it," Shinji answered, giving up. "You looked at me… like…"

Asuka shook her head in exasperation, giving up. She turned away, returning her gaze to the stars.

"Like you almost cared," Shinji said quietly. He sighed and turned away as well.

Asuka started and blinked a few times, not comprehending. "I… almost… _what?"_

"It's all right, Asuka." Shinji turned to look at her again, smiling sadly. "It doesn't matter, really. I'm glad you're all right and I'm glad you're back and I'm glad I understand you. But…"

"No, I…" Asuka struggled with herself. "That's not what I meant, Shinji…" She turned to over again and now they both lay on their backs, faces towards each other. "I… remember. I… mean, no, that's not what I mean… you know, I… do… sort of…"

Shinji blinked. Asuka bit back a growl, knowing he was just trying to get her to say it.

"I… do care, Shinji."

There was tense silence for a few moments.

"Me… too, Asuka."

Even though the darkness obscured their features from one another, Shinji and Asuka did not need facial expressions to understand that they had finally, _finally, with a few simple words, built something that bridged the gap between them. There could be no more guessing at one another because now they __knew. This opened other doors… having spent almost the entirety of the last year trying to understand one another, Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley Sohryu now began to wonder… what do we do now?_

But both of them, even with their radically different views, beliefs and personalities, came up with the same answer: _who cares._

In the warm, inky blackness, Asuka could feel Shinji's nervous but (no doubt) hugely relieved half-smile. She allowed herself one of her own.

Reaching out, she found Shinji's startled hand in the darkness.

If Shinji was stunned at Asuka's revelation, the one he had dreamt, wondered and hoped at for a very long time, he almost threw up with surprise on the spot when he felt the touch of Asuka's hand and her fingers entwining with his own. His heart was pounding in his throat and he wondered hazily if Third Impact had been so bad after all.

They lay there, hand in hand, unable to see one another, Asuka smiling at the stars, Shinji trying to keep the meager contents of his stomach down.

He eventually calmed, taking many deep (silent) breaths and steadying his thoughts. The hold they shared was not a tight one… rather it was relaxed. It was not one that said, don't go anywhere. It was one that said, I know you're here.

Shinji didn't dare move, afraid he would ruin the moment, instead concentrating on the feel of Asuka's soft hand.

"Never held someone's hand, Shinji?" Asuka snickered, fully aware that he hadn't but wanting to make him state it anyway.

Shinji flushed a deep shade of crimson, glad Asuka couldn't really see him.

"Me neither," Asuka smirked when Shinji didn't answer. "Not like this anyway."

"_You neither?" Shinji blurted in surprise. "I mean, I just thought, well…"_

"No," grunted Asuka. "First time."

"But… I would have thought… I mean, you're…"

"Beautiful, yes, I know," Asuka said carelessly.

"Er… I was going to say… experienced…"

"Mmwhaaat!?" screeched Asuka, shocked.

"No! No!" Shinji hurriedly put in, flustered. "I meant I thought you would have been… um… you know… asked out… a lot. At… um… college. And school."

Asuka subsided, glowering. "Luck is with you, Third Child," she muttered, giving his hand a not-so-gentle squeeze that made Shinji wince. He was relieved, however, when she didn't let go. "No. Well, yes, I _did get asked out a lot… obviously."_

"Obviously," Shinji obediently agreed.

"But I went to college because I was a genius. _Am a genius," she corrected herself smugly. "And it doesn't take a genius to figure out what the males-disguised-as-the-scum-that-collects-under-the-school-desks wanted. I only talked to them when I had to. That was all."_

"And… school? I know… you were popular. Your pictures were getting expensive…"

Asuka narrowed her eyes at this innocent slip. "Yeah, I know," she lied. "There were a couple of vendors, right?" she asked, making it up as she went along. "Who did you know that sold them?"

"Oh, I only knew about Touji and Kensuke."

"I see," Asuka murmured darkly. Images of Kensuke Aida on fire and Touji Souzahara being run over by a bus flashed across her mind. If she ever saw those two again, brutal revenge would just be the beginning. "Interesting."

Beginning to wonder if he had just done something terrible, Shinji nervously said, "Asuka…"

"Well, to answer your question," the redhead interrupted sweetly, "the pathetic attempts made by the male population at our _school to impress me were worth laughing at, nothing more."_

"You… did have a date… remember, on the night you… we… uh…"

Asuka chortled. "Oh yeah, that night. Pah," she sneered. "Hikari set that up. I only did it as a favour for her, I didn't even know the guy. That worm was _nothing. I barely even __looked at him. He was just like the jerks I knew in college but he was __boring into the bargain…"_

"Oh. And… Kaji?"

Asuka sighed inwardly. She had been expecting this question. "Shinji… I… I'm going to try and tell you something, all right? So don't interrupt." Shinji almost did so but checked himself just in time. "I… didn't always care. For you or for anyone. I thought that the only person who cared about me… _was me. So I didn't care about anyone. As a result of it I grew up fast. Really fast."_

She sighed again. "I was a grown woman by the time I was twelve. But all anyone ever saw was a girl _trying to be a woman. Do you understand how hard it is to get accepted for who you are?"_

Shinji understood all right, but he obediently kept quiet. He felt Asuka's hand twitching a little in his.

"People were only willing to accept me for the person_ they saw me as, not as the person__ I saw me as."_

"That's like me and piloting Eva," Shinji murmured, unconsciously interrupting. Asuka didn't notice, merely nodded.

"So… when I met Kaji, I thought… here's my chance. Here's my chance to prove I'm a grown up. But not even Kaji saw me as that. He saw me as this cute little girl," she said bitterly. "But it didn't matter. My feelings for him were real. But at the same time…" she sighed wearily. "At the same time, they weren't. I _forced myself to feel that way about him so that I could __prove I was a woman to the world."_

Shinji nodded sadly. He didn't like hearing about her feelings for Kaji, but he didn't interrupt.

"The feelings were so… hollow," Asuka murmured. "I felt so… fake. Like I knew it wouldn't happen but I couldn't give up because I _never did that…" her voice trailed off. "In the end, it meant nothing. To both of us."_

"I… think I can understand."

"I doubt it," Asuka said quietly, tightening her hold on Shinji's hand. "I hope you never do."

"So… are you… um… a girl or a woman? Now?"

"I don't know."

"I guess… it doesn't matter, really."

"I guess not."

They lay in comfortable silence for a little while, both digesting everything that had happened.

"Asuka?"

"Hmm?"

"I know you don't like it when I say it, but I… really mean it this time…"

"What?"

"I'm sorry. About what I said before."

"You didn't really say anything," Asuka snorted. "You only mentioned Kaji. And… what I…"

"I'm still sorry."

Asuka sighed inwardly. She seemed to be doing a lot of that these days. She was still uncomfortable with apologies, but she was here, and she was holding his hand, and he had said it to her first…

"Yeah. Me too," she muttered, almost sulkily.

She could almost see Shinji's smile.

"Shinji?"

"Um… yes?"

"It's only been one day since we came back from the LCL."

"Yeah."

"A whole lot has happened, but not much at all."

"Yeah."

"We slept pretty close last night."

"Yeah." Shinji's voice was getting more nervous.

Asuka rolled her eyes, exasperated. "Come here, Shinji."

He meekly shuffled closer, slightly disappointed as Asuka released his hand. She raised her head a little bit.

"Now spin round so I can lie down."

After shifting themselves around, Shinji lay on his back against the concrete with Asuka's head resting on his chest so that they formed a T-shape. Asuka groped around in vain before giving up and waving her hand over her head, in front of Shinji's face. He obediently took it in his own and Asuka rested both of them on her stomach.

The indestructible redhead yawned mightily.

Shinji shifted the blanket under his head, the one Asuka had been using as a pillow before swapping it for Shinji's thin chest.

"You smell terrible, Ikari," Asuka commented.

"Huh?"

"You need a bath."

"You don't smell so great, yourself," he shot back tiredly.

"Hey, Shinji?" Asuka managed, yawning again.

"Yes?"

"Let's never stop fighting," she said with unmistakable glee in her voice. "No matter what happens, let's never stop."

Shinji laughed wearily and looked down at a side on view of Asuka's pretty features, now with an expression of tiredness written all over them. He could see the silhouette of her red hair spilled across his body. He could feel the softness of her hand in his own, even as Asuka began to stroke it with the other one. He could sense her serenity.

"Could we?"

"No."

"All right, then."

Asuka chuckled sleepily. "Idiot."

"Good night, Asuka."

"G'night… Shinji. Sweet dreams."

"Yeah," he murmured. With one hand he squeezed Asuka's, with the other, Misato's cross. In his mind, he thought of Rei, of Kaworu, of Touji, of Kensuke, of his mother… and, of course, of the redheaded girl resting on his chest.

"Pervert." Asuka smiled contentedly, just before she dropped into a peaceful sleep.

________________________________________________________________________

AUTHOR'S NOTES:  Well, a fairly long chapter, taking place over a single night, in which nothing (apart from Shinji and Asuka's conversation) actually happens. Things _will happen next chapter; it's time to bring back a few more old faces. I think I've gone through all the problems that have been haunting Shinji and Asuka – piloting Eva, their mothers, their feelings, their past, their loneliness… if you can think of any other demons that need exorcising tell me, I'd appreciate it. By the way… Autophage, if you read this, I wanted to ask you something. At the risk of sounding like an arrogant git, what is an EFO? Ok, I think that's it… reviews, comments, criticism, especially suggestions… I'd like to hear it. Finally, thanks for reading._


	7. For All Mankind

The things you own end up owning you. However, this is not the case with GAINAX and Evangelion because I never owned them in the first place.

Greetings, Lilim, and welcome once again to Evangelion: All is Right With the World. I really don't know how to reply to your compliments, comments and reviews, which were _all_ more than kind. Many, many thanks to everyone who gave them. I felt slightly guilty about not mentioning dennisud last chapter, as he's been here since the beginning, virtually. So, comrade, an official thanks goes out to you in particular.

On that note, dennisud made a comment at the end of his review that had me tearing my hair out. I didn't deal with Asuka's mind-rape. Damn! I should have integrated it into the last chapter. I've have to stick it in somewhere up ahead. However, I have thought of a few reasons why she isn't a total wreck for the experience. If you think about it, Instrumentality may not have been so bad after all…

Last chapter seemed to go down reasonably well. I'm glad. I think most people who have been regular readers were relieved to be back with Shinji and Asuka… myself included. Last chapter focussed solely on them but in this chapter, things actually start happening. The UN finally gets its rear in gear.

As for the romance between Shinji and Asuka… I'm relieved most people seem to think it's going all right, in-character, and most importantly, realistically. I do my best to write so that you can visualize Shinji and Asuka speaking, moving, and so on. I want to write things they'd actually _do._

As always, enjoy, as always, I hope to see your reviews.

P.S. Thanks for telling me about the EFO thing, everyone. I'd never heard of it before. When this is finished, I may well send it in.

Take it easy,

RENEGADE

________________________________________________________________________

ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD

06. For All Mankind

On the outskirts of Tokyo-3:

The young woman groaned and forced her eyes open. It was dawn, and she had never been so glad to see it. Spending an uncomfortably warm night lying outside on the hard ground had taken its toll on her body, and she could feel the stiffness in her neck, back and limbs. She shook the arm she had been using as a pillow to try and get some blood circulating and blearily gazed around at the other members of their little group.

Most of them were still asleep. She could see two that were not; one was sitting wearily with his back against the skeletal remains of a building and another was standing nearby, trying unsuccessfully to tidy herself up.

The woman blinked and sighed, turning tiredly away from the sorry spectacle. She repeated a question in her mind, the same question every human being would ask themselves at least once: _what now_?

She had returned from the LCL sea on a beach to the north of here. She was terrified over what had happened, but she had seen many troubling and disturbing sights in her time. This woman was stouthearted and refused to allow anything to bother her for long.

At least, that is what she made herself believe.

She remembered only a few things from her time in Instrumentality, but she supposed that she had returned to the place where she had envisaged herself as being most comfortable. She had awoken close to her sister's home. She had lived with her on the outskirts of Tokyo-3 for nearly five years, up until a year ago when she was forced by working obligations to move inwards.

After returning from the LCL sea she had wandered aimlessly for quite a while, staggering about in a daze until she suddenly realised she had no idea where she was. That was when the tiny, terrified group came upon her.

They were led by a police officer who had hesitantly and somewhat reluctantly taken charge. Nobody had any idea what had happened and so the exhausted woman had explained it to them as best she could before literally falling to the ground and into a deep sleep.

When she awoke she learned that her newfound friends had carried her as they moved further into the shattered city to find help. As they journeyed onwards, occasionally finding one or two weary survivors, their small group had grown steadily until it was at least twenty people strong.

Back in the present, the young woman sighed. More people were waking up now, and, following her own advice, they had all decided to push on as fast as they could towards NERV headquarters. Resigning herself to her strange new fate, the young woman stoically but tiredly followed the others when they set off fifteen minutes later.

*          *            *

Reflecting in the sunlight of the dawn, Asuka Langley Sohryu leaned heavily against a crumbling wall, grumbling to herself. She took a deep breath and blinked in the gathering light. The night had been warm and the day, it seemed, was shaping up to be the same.

She glanced over her shoulder. Shinji was still asleep, lying on his back with his mouth open, snoring quietly. Asuka snorted in amusement. She hadn't known he snored. She'd certainly never heard him back at Misato's. Idly, she wondered if _she _had ever snored, but immediately dismissed the idea as ridiculous.

Asuka wondered vaguely what would happen now. She'd spent a long time last night talking to Shinji (and shouting, and accusing, and whining, of course – but none of their conversations would be the same without any of that) and had fallen asleep on his chest, holding his hand in her own.

_Weird, mused Asuka. __Nothing's changed about him. At least, not much. _He's still practically the same dummkopf he was when I first met him, but there's something… new. He's still a dork and a wimp and a showoff, but… I don't know, Instrumentality changed him somehow. He's more… at peace. Like I am, I suppose.__

As Asuka watched, Shinji shifted and murmured something. _I guess it's me that's changed_, thought the redhead pensively. _I guess. I mean, I can't think of any other __reason why we ended up like we did last night. A year ago, I'd never have imagined._

_First time I saw him, I… well, I don't know. I didn't think anything of him or about him. He was just another person not worth knowing, really. But then I was forced__ to know him so I began to find out what kind of a person he was._

_Even then, though, I didn't understand him. Just like he didn't understand me. We were too wrapped up in ourselves to worry about someone else__._

Asuka frowned. _Is that it? Instrumentality threw away the borders of our minds… and we finally understood one another? Was that all that was standing between us? Understanding?_

She snorted mentally. _That idiot was too selfish to understand me back then. Her sour expression, however, transformed into a silent laugh.__ We were forced to meet each other, forced to live together, forced to know each other… and now, forced to understand each other. I guess I should have seen this coming._

_But there were_ times when we thought for ourselves…_ Asuka allowed herself a devilish grin. __I remember. The volcano… that time in the vertical shaft against the acid-dripping Angel… the kiss…_

Her grin faded. _All right, so there weren't that__ many times, but they were__ there. I guess Instrumentality let us both put things in perspective here._

Asuka snickered quietly at the absurdity of it all. _It took us Third Impact, but we finally got it together._

The sun was coming into view now, lighting up the area with a ruddy light.

_Well, Mama, she reflected,_ I said I'd let him in, and I did. See? Your Asuka keeps her promises.____

Asuka ran a hand through her long, red hair, sourly noting how stiff and dirty it had become. She desperately needed a shower, though not as much, she suspected dryly, as Ikari. Her plugsuit, at least, kept her body reasonably clean, but Shinji had been wearing his everyday clothes for maybe three or four days now.

Glaring at the sleeping body of Shinji as if daring him to make a comment, Asuka turned her face back towards the horizon so that she could warm herself from the sun's rays.

Yes, she had held mixed feelings for Shinji Ikari over the time that they had known one another. She had been savagely competitive with him, been jealous of him, hated him, been disgusted with him, been furious with him, been frustrated with him, been puzzled by him, … but _this_ feeling took the cake as being the one she least would have expected.

"Well, I'm not going to get all sugary and gooey on him, if that's what you're wondering," Asuka irritably declared to the morning. "He's still an idiot." A tiny smirk, almost non-existent, appeared on Asuka's lips. "But I can live with that."

A loud gurgle and snore from the blissfully ignorant Shinji granted him another dangerous glare from the Second Child. "Whether _he _will is another matter entirely."

She moved over to give Shinji his wake-up call.

*          *            *

The young woman picked her way over the unstable piles of rubble, wincing as she cut her finger on something. This section of the city was utterly devastated. There wasn't a single piece of cover or shelter for miles around. No two stones sat on top of one another. The entire area had been blasted into oversized gravel.

"Over here!" called one of the group members anxiously, a man in a (now) tattered business suit and tie. "There's someone here! Quickly… I think she's hurt!"

Along with a few of the others who happened to be nearby, the young woman hurriedly scrambled over the rubble to where the former businessman knelt. In his arms he was holding a miserable looking woman with pale skin and dark-rimmed eyes. It looked as though she hadn't eaten at all since coming back, and her entire appearance was a mess. Her unkempt, stringy hair was matted in places and through the torn areas of her clothing, the young woman could see several bruises and cuts.

"It's all right," the balding businessman was soothing. "Everything's going to be all right now."

But the injured woman wasn't listening. Despite her obvious pain and fatigue, she started suddenly and stared at the newcomer. Reaching up with a weak hand, she grasped the young woman's arm.

"Maya?" gasped the injured woman in disbelief.

"Ma'am," murmured the young woman, kneeling down to help.

*          *            *

Shinji rubbed his head where he'd banged it and glared at Asuka, who ignored him. She was standing side-on to him, smiling smugly as Shinji struggled to his feet.

"How did you sleep, Shinji?" Asuka asked him sweetly.

Shinji mumbled noncommittally, scowling sulkily to himself.

Asuka yawned loudly. "Another day," she commented. "I wonder if anything will happen."

There was still no reply from Shinji. Asuka glanced at him crossly.

"Hey, earth to Ikari." She moved over and flicked his ear, causing him to yelp. He gave her a dirty look.

"Oh, fine then," she snorted in exasperation. "Ignore me like you always do, Shinji the hero. You know, I've never heard anyone snore as loud as you do, you big fat dork!"

"Me!?" Shinji burst out for the first time. "Your snores are louder than an orchestra!"

"Mm_whatwasthat!?"_

He took grim satisfaction in Asuka's shocked, red face, but it lessened when she supplied him with a slap around the head and a very long and involved string of complicated German curses.

*          *            *

Yesterday had not been easy for NERV Acting Commanders Hyuga and Aoba. They had begun regretting their promotion two minutes after Vice Commander Fuyutsuki had been taken away. There had been work parties to oversee, communications to be opened, plans to be drawn, decisions to be made…

The NERV facility had never really recovered after Zeruel, the Fourteenth Angel, had attacked. That battle had been costly and headquarters had sustained heavy damage. Following that there was Unit-00's self-destruction, which had blasted Tokyo-3 to ruins. Then there was the JSSDF's ruthless attack, and after _that_ there was Third Impact.

Shigeru Aoba reflected grimly that Vice Commander Fuyutsuki had been right when he said that NERV was already dead and buried.

Makoto Hyuga leaned back in his chair and sighed in exhaustion. While technically – if not officially – they were in charge of NERV, neither of the two former techs had felt comfortable sitting at the Commander's desk and so had remained at their MAGI terminals.

"The UN seems to have calmed down," Hyuga commented tiredly as he lolled back in his chair. "Four more of their high council members appeared between one and four this morning."

Hyuga and Aoba had decided to split the night up into shifts so that they could both get some rest. Each of them understood now that five hours of sleep was not nearly enough.

"Yeah," grunted Aoba. "They're still ridiculously understaffed, but even one person is better than none."

"Don't I know it," Hyuga agreed soberly. He rolled his neck and stretched. "There was even talk yesterday of sending peacekeepers out. What… ah… what's the latest damage report?"

Aoba tiredly keyed a few commands in on his terminal and eyed the screen. "There's been some seriously heavy flooding in China… three quarters of the entire country was, well… you know. It's going to take millions and millions to clean it up."

"Well… at least it's not billions," mumbled Hyuga, pushing his glasses up his nose.

"Half of all the cities in Australia were obliterated. The affected area was mostly desert, so the environment will be all right, but… well, half the county is now homeless…"

"All right," Hyuga admitted dejectedly. "So _now_ it's billions…"

"Almost all Indonesian civilisation has been lost, along with the other major islands in the Pacific. Just… wiped out. They'll have to rebuild their entire countries from scratch."

"Oh."

"Add all that to _Japan's repair bill, as well as the damage to the oceans, atmosphere, landscapes…"_

"…and the UN is going to be asking it's employees for donations." Hyuga leaned back and shook his head. "The Vice-Commander said that the Third was nowhere near as bad as the Second. Which is true, obviously, I mean the Second Impact blanketed the whole _world…"_

"But…"

"But the Third Impact came too soon after the Second. We'd barely recovered from _that."_

The phone rang. Aoba looked at his watch, sighed and slumped forwards, his forehead resting against the MAGI terminal's screen. Wearily, he reached out a hand to answer the next in a long line of phone calls as he thought dryly, not for the first time and definitely not for the last, that today was going to be a long day.

*          *            *

"I'm hungry," Shinji groaned miserably.

"Tell me about it," Asuka muttered darkly, glancing around at the other people who shared the auto-repair shop's garage with them.

Nobody had any food. Nobody knew where to _get_ food. They had eaten yesterday; the junk food contents of the shop's snack dispensers were now totally depleted. Somewhat foolishly, Asuka realised, they had not rationed their supplies and now they were regretting it.

Suddenly and decisively, Shinji stood up. "Where are you going?" Asuka asked, surprised.

Shinji glanced down. "To look, of course."

"Look?"

He gave her a strange one. "For food."

Asuka frowned as Shinji turned away to exit the building. Slightly annoyed, she reached out and grabbed his wrist. "Wait," she commanded, raising herself to her feet. Once standing, she made a futile attempt to wipe away some of the grime that had inevitably accumulated from the garage floor.

"Huh?"

She gave him an annoyed look. "I'm coming too, of course. _If _that's all right with you, Third Child."

She pushed past him and strode towards the door.

"Uh… sure," he said bemusedly, surprised she was willing to work.

Out in the bright sunlight, Shinji realised that he didn't have the faintest idea of what to do. He didn't say anything, though, just walked beside Asuka, who was choosing their course, as they made their way further from the garage.

"I don't know what you expect to find," Asuka was grumbling. "It's not as if we have a microwave on hand for a cup of instant ramen."

Shinji smiled, remembering some of the infamous cooking that had gone on back at the Katsuragi household. He fingered the white cross hanging around his neck. "What I wouldn't give for some of Misato's cooking now."

Asuka shuddered. "That woman is disgusting," she snapped. "How the hell does she eat that stuff? I mean her stomach must have its own AT Field!"

Having had similar thoughts in the past, Shinji snuffed a laugh.

"Still," Asuka said dryly, "I'll just _bet_ you that we somehow find a frozen bowl of Misato's instant ramen. It'd be _typical."_

Picking their way over the rubble, Shinji and Asuka squinted in the glaring sunlight. The weather certainly was strange. Yesterday had heralded a heavy rainstorm, and today was looking like being extremely hot.

"Do you know where we're going?" Shinji ventured.

"To the restaurant district of course," Asuka replied with a frown. "Can't you tell?"

"I don't know," Shinji admitted. "It's kind of hard…"

"Heh. Yeah, I guess so." Right now, every building looked exactly the same: like rubble.

They stood atop a mound of stone debris, what once might have been one of Tokyo-3's most popular nightclubs, and stared about them sadly. Neither of them expected a buffet lunch to jump out at them; however, both of them had feebly hoped that they would not actually have to _dig_ for their food.

Shinji was the first to give in, prompted both by his stomach, which gave a painful rumble, and by Asuka, who gave him an impatient glare. He sighed. "Come on. I think this _was the restaurant district. Let's just… dig around. We may find something, you never know."_

Asuka stared in disbelief as the Third Child moved over to another ruin and began sifting through the rubble on all fours.

"Are you out of your _mind?" she snapped, following him but not getting down to help. "I'm not going to root around in the dirt like a pig!" She turned away, crossed her arms and stuck her nose in the air._

"I thought you were hungry, too."

"That's not the point, idiot. You're a boy and I'm a girl. That means that _you have to do whatever _I_ say. Now get to work, I'm starved."_

"Well… okay. I'll do it."

"Hmph."

Asuka sat down on an oversized chunk of masonry and watched Shinji work. He scrabbled around amongst the rocks, shifting the larger ones aside, and uncovered quite a few odds and ends, though nothing edible.

"Hey, Shinji…" Asuka began thoughtfully after a few minutes, casually swinging her legs on the ledge.

"Uh… yeah?" Shinji said, not glancing over his shoulder. He had his back to her, but he realised she had been looking at him curiously as he dug. He blushed quickly, glad Asuka couldn't see his face.

"Do you ever think about Commander Ikari?" she asked him directly.

Shinji slowed, but didn't stop his work.

_I have no time to waste on a petulant child._

_Good work, Shinji._

_You disappoint me. I assume that we will never meet again._

_Forgive me, Shinji_

"Sometimes," he admitted quietly.

Asuka digested this answer, and readied another question. "D'you think he'll come back?"

"No," Shinji said flatly. "He… I don't think he would have… um… well, he won't come back," he finished lamely.

The redhead gazed at him inquisitively, rocking backwards and forwards on her perch. "Hmm…"

"He… I found out some things about him… during my time at NERV," Shinji explained hesitantly, diligently searching the rocks before him. "I found out how he felt… about my mother and his work. But then… he made me hurt Touji. And… we fell further apart than we'd ever been."

Shinji bowed his head. Asuka kept her eyes on him, examining his movements.

"And… well, I guess… Instrumentality helped me learn more. Not everything. You remember how you said that we only got memories and thoughts from people we were close to? Well… I barely touched my father."

"Uh-huh. I guess you never liked him much."

Shinji did not reply to this. Frowning, Asuka tried to comprehend what it could mean. Suddenly, a memory flashed before her eyes, a conversation she had had with Misato some time ago.

_If he hates him so much, why doesn't he just say?_

_Well, he doesn't actually _hate_ him… that's the problem._

"You never hated him, did you?" she asked curiously. "At least, not all the time. Why is that?"

"I… I just wanted a father," Shinji said, somewhat angrily, though Asuka realised it wasn't directed at her. She didn't know who the target was: Commander Ikari, or Shinji himself. "I _did hate him… sometimes… Like you said last night… when I didn't have a choice."_

Asuka nodded, but Shinji still had his back turned and so did not see it.

"He tried to kill my friend by using _me_. He _deserved to be hated," he snarled angrily. Before Asuka could even be taken aback by this uncharacteristic behaviour, though, the anger quickly faded and Shinji became more subdued. "But in Instrumentality, I heard his last memories. The one thing he _wanted _to show me."_

"Yeah? What did he say?"

"He asked me to forgive him."

"He _what? Did you?"_

Shinji wrung his hands helplessly. "I… I… it… to find out that he never… hated me, it was… I felt… it _helped, Asuka. When it counted, it helped, but… again, what choice did I have?"_

Asuka nodded. "I guess some people just don't deserve forgiveness."

"I guess. But I… I did… forgive him."

"Huh?" Asuka said, confused.

"I had no choice. He made me… hurt Touji, I _had _to hate him. He asked for my forgiveness, I _had_ to give it to him."

"But… why? After everything…"

"Because… I can't help but think…" Shinji turned around, tears shimmering in his eyes. "That… if there were no Angels… I _would_ have had a father."

"But Shinji… does that kind of forgiveness _mean _anything? As if you were _obligated _to forgive him?"

Shinji smiled sadly. "I suppose… that's up for him to decide. Wherever he is."

He thought of his mother resting within the shell of Evangelion Unit-01, billions of miles away, floating in an endless, celestial orbit throughout the void. He felt a pang of sadness, guilt and regret for Gendo Ikari, who would not see his wife again in Instrumentality. But the way of the two male Ikaris, for as long as Shinji could remember,  had always been that each of them lived their own lives. Alienated from the other.

Because of both of them, it was too late to change that now. Shinji could do nothing but move away. _Perhaps, he reflected silently, __that's why I forgave him. Maybe I wanted him to let go, too._

Suddenly, he felt cold steel underneath his hands. Startled, Shinji quickly began digging deeper, until he could get both hands onto the tin – that is what it was – and began pulling.

"Hey… have you got something there?" Asuka demanded, jumping down and peering over his shoulder as her flat stomach rumbled again. "Pull it out, quick!"

"I'm trying," Shinji grunted as he tugged, finally pulling it free. Excitedly, the two ex-pilots gazed at the find. However, Shinji's victorious smile faded and Asuka grew an impressive scowl.

"At… least it's not ramen," Shinji tried meekly.

Asuka glared at him. "No, it's not," she said coldly. "It's dog food. I don't _believe this!" she screeched furiously, getting up and throwing her arms wide to the heavens. "Only a pure, unfiltered dummkopf like __you could have pulled that off, Shinji! Out of all the cans you _could_ have found, you just _had _to find the dog food!"_

"Er… well… sorry…"

They looked at each other, then down at the can in Shinji's hand. Despite himself, despite their somewhat desperate situation, Shinji felt a smile creeping over his face, a laugh building up in his chest, and quickly turned away so that Asuka wouldn't see it.

The Second Child tried to push her own smile away by scowling harder, but it didn't work, and hearing Shinji try to hide his snicker only made it worse. Try as she might, Asuka couldn't stop the laugh from bursting free at the same time as Shinji's.

They laughed hard and long, clutching their sides and staggering about until tears rolled from their eyes. Sometimes, in the worse situation, laughing is the only thing left to do.

When they finally calmed down, Shinji turned away and, still cackling, wiped the moisture from his eyes. "Sorry… Asuka… _oof_!" His giggle was cut short by Asuka engulfing him in a hug from behind.

Slightly startled, Shinji was acutely aware of the girl's smiling face pressed against his neck and her arms wrapped tightly around him. This was the same hug she used to give to Kaji… but now it was Shinji who was feeling Asuka wrapped tightly around him. He furiously fought off all thoughts that might lead to thermal expansion, instead trying slowly and nervously to turn around in her arms.

Despite himself, he succeeded but just as he was about to hesitantly return the hug it, Asuka pushed him away and slapped him lightly around the head.

"Ow!" Shinji yelped.

"Don't push it, Ikari," Asuka warned slyly, waving a finger in front of his nose, before giving him a quick wink and spinning away. "I didn't give you permission," she added rather coyly over her shoulder.

Staring after her, a confused Shinji muttered to himself, "I'll never understand her."

Asuka gleefully called to him from the other end of the ruined street. "Hey! Come on, stupid, you haven't found me anything to eat yet!"

Shinji sighed and obediently trudged after her, silently reflecting that it would be easier to figure out an Angel's mind than that of Asuka Langley Sohryu.

*          *            *

The grubby, disoriented figure slowly woke up from the slumber that all newly returned people quickly succumbed to. Dark dreams faded with the last vestiges of sleep and the slightly disheveled character groggily rose himself up from the sand.

Glancing around with weary eyes, he blinked in the bright sunlight and his heart race quickly increased when he noticed something was amiss. He tried to speak, but his throat was as dry as sandpaper.

"Wh… where are you?" he rasped.

Suddenly, from behind a pile of rocks a short distance away, the figure noticed movement. He saw a slim hand waving to him and a much smaller figure appeared, nimbly moving over the rocks towards him.

"There you are," the first figure sighed in relief.

*          *            *

Asuka had merrily berated Shinji all the way down the street until, like a bolt of lightning, inspiration had struck her. Puffing her chest out and making sure Shinji was listening, she had proclaimed that they should go to the ruins of the supermarket. Surely they would be able to find food there? And it wasn't too far off, either.

Shinji had wholeheartedly agreed, but had been adamant about going back to the auto-repair shop so that they could get the rest of the group to go with them. Asuka had protested loudly, saying that they could tell the others when they got back, but Shinji was firm. So, back they had gone and now it was a small troupe that sifted through the rubble of the small supermarket.

Others had the same idea; there were quite a number of strangers here now as well. Not surprising, really, for the supermarket was a veritable gold mine. Asuka stuffed her face with chocolate bars she had somehow uncovered, at the same time savagely defending them from Shinji and everyone else. The Third Child had no idea how she had found them, considering how she refused to get down and dig through the rubble.

The ruins of the shopping center were spread around a large crater, courtesy of a stray JSSDF bomb. Some people were currently attempting a slightly hazardous climb down the rocky embankment that made up the crater's wall; unable to find anything else worthwhile to eat around the rim, Shinji and Asuka decided to copy them and try their luck further down.

"I don't really know if we should be doing this Asuka," Shinji said warily as he peered down the steep incline. "There's a lot of jagged rocks and things…"

"Oh, you'd rather stay up here and go hungry a little longer, would you?" snapped Asuka, coming in close from behind and giving him a light push. "Well let me tell you, Third Child, I am _not, so if you're too scared to climb down then get out of the way!"_

"I'm just being careful," Shinji replied crossly. "If you want to break your neck jumping down like an idiot, go ahead, but I'm going to take it slow…"

"_Idiot!? How dare you, Ikari? You'd best hurry up and get down there before I _throw_ you down!" The fuming redhead gave him a harder push and before he could react, a surprised Shinji slipped forwards. Startled, he fell down a few feet into the crater, landing heavily and unceremoniously as his rump connected with the sharp corner of a rather large chunk of strategically placed masonry._

Shinji's squawk of pain had Asuka laughing in fits.

"What did you do that for?" he snapped when he got up, glowering up at his cackling companion as he subtly tried to rub his injured backside. "I could have been seriously hurt!"

"Geez, you're always so pessimistic! Here, watch me." Asuka deftly hopped down and holding her arms out for balance proceeded to slide somewhat recklessly down the precarious slope. Despite himself, Shinji couldn't help but be impressed at her balance as she made it all the way to the bottom of the crater without actually taking a single step.

"Come on, Shinji!" she called. "Or I'll start work without you!"

"Do me a favour," he mumbled as he picked his way slowly downwards, clambering over the debris.

Asuka had stopped at the bottom and was gazing impassively around at the shadowy base as if she expected someone to rush up and offer her a three-course meal. It was at this point that Shinji, close to the bottom now, suddenly noticed two tins of fruit salad. It was the canned kind that wouldn't go off if you didn't open it. However, when he bent down and picked them up he caught his foot, and with a cry of alarm he lost his balance. Gravity took over and he began wildly dashing the remaining distance, waving his arms and yelling in a panic, unable to stop himself.

Hearing her companion's cry, Asuka casually glanced over her shoulder just in time for her eyes to go wide as Shinji barreled into her, sending the Second Child crashing forwards – straight into a large puddle, a remnant of the rainstorm the previous day, with a loud _splash._

All Asuka could do for a few moments was remain motionless on all fours in the puddle, murky water dripping from her stunned face and red hair, unable to believe what had just happened. Then…

"Rrrgghhss_scheiss!" she screamed furiously at the top of her lungs. Hauling herself to her feet, she spun around, eyes burning with rage. "_IKARI_!" she roared, storming over with clenched fists, droplets of water flying away from her in all directions._

Terrified, Shinji began backing away. "Sorry! Asuka, I'm sorry!" he pleaded. "I didn't mean to! Asuka!" He was about to turn and run when Asuka lashed out and grabbed his ear in a merciless deathgrip. "Ah… ah… ow!" he cried.

"Any last words?" she hissed furiously, grabbing him by the lapels and pushing her face in close to glare into his eyes.

"I… I… found us some food," Shinji tried, offering the tins of fruit salad. He feebly trying to worm away, but Asuka was holding him too strongly as she examined his find.

Asuka's eyes narrowed. Wordlessly, she snatched away one of the tins in Shinji's hands and, releasing his ear, she silently peeled off the top, scooping the contents up with her fingers.

Shinji sighed in unutterable relief. She could actually be _scary_ sometimes. He reached down to peel the top off his own tin.

"I sure am hungry," Asuka said flatly, staring coldly at him. "_Really _hungry," she added pointedly.

Shinji's stomach rumbled, but all he could do was sigh and hand over his own tin. As Asuka scoffed the food, he sadly turned away to see if he could find something else to eat.

*          *            *

The still, late-morning air was suddenly shattered by a deafening sound. Looking up in surprise from their impromptu meal, Shinji and Asuka saw two large, black shapes roaring across the sky. Far overhead, the United Nations helicopters moved steadily over the ruins of Tokyo-3, occasionally dipping low as they surveyed the damage.

Up above the pair of ex-pilots, they could see a few of the others leaping about, waving their hands and yelling for the helicopters to land. They didn't, of course; soon the _thud-thud-thud of the helicopter's rotor blades was fading into the distance._

Shinji and Asuka looked at one another in surprise, but before either of them could say anything there were shouts and calls from the rim. Looking back up, the two of them could see that there was something going on. People were running, all in the same direction.

"What's going on up there?" Shinji wondered.

"We'll never find out sitting here," Asuka replied, getting up. "Come on!"

Scrambling back up the slope (Shinji being extra careful) they were surprised to see a large mass of people filing slowly past. The members of their group were rushing to join, happy to see that they were not the only survivors of Third Impact.

One of the two extremely harried and nervous-looking European soldiers that led the parade called over in broken Japanese. "Come over! We are from the United Nations and are taking all refugees to the rescue camp in the Tokai District!"

Upon hearing this, the stragglers doubled their pace. Shinji glanced over at Asuka. "Coming?"

"Of course I'm coming, stupid," she replied irritably.

 Together, they dashed over and merged with the refugee column.

*          *            *

The going was slow. Very slow. From the exhausted chatter that was going on all around them, Shinji and Asuka learned that the two soldiers leading this column were part of a ten-man unit – literally all the UN could spare to send to Tokyo-3. Peacekeepers had been sent to other cities and other countries – it sounded really bad – but rumour was that Tokyo-3 had priority because of NERV headquarters.

"We get priority, and they send over two grunts?" Asuka muttered in disbelief. She glared about at the ragged, unwashed mass of humanity around her and wondered how the hell the world was going to solve all of _this_. "Yeah, I know, Mama," she mumbled. "Hold true to hope. It's just that it's… hard. Sometimes."

The procession continued all throughout the day, moving at a snail's pace. The idea, apparently, was to search the entire area and get everyone they found to join them. Thus, everyone was expected to help in searching the surroundings whenever the two stressed soldiers called a halt, and Shinji and Asuka were no exception, much to their chagrin.

However, progress was being made, and by late afternoon they had covered a reasonable distance. Nobody, however, knew how close or far they were from the Tokai District. As it turned out, they had covered more distance than they expected.

While he was oblivious to this, though, Shinji was well aware that Asuka was less than happy about the way things were going.

"Oh, man! I can't believe we're doing this!" she was moaning again. "I mean, we piloted Eva! We literally," here she moved in close to Shinji and waggled a finger in his face, "saved the world. Several times! And here we are, crawling through the ruins of the city with a bunch of _bums_! Don't we get any kind of special treatment? This really sucks!"

"Well, we've got no choice," Shinji reminded her mildly. "I mean, what else could we do? You didn't want to go back to NERV headquarters, right?"

"Of course not! You never know what they'd want to do with us if we went back there!"

"So what do you want to do?"

"Look," Asuka said, a little testily, "all I'm saying is that we should be cut a little slack, all right? Mein Gott, it's not as if we don't deserve it!"

"Yeah," Shinji agreed soberly.

They continued to walk on in silence. Shinji stole a few glances sideways at Asuka, who didn't really seem to mind the trek all that much. She gazed about her absently, and Shinji heard her humming a few tuneless bars every now and then. With some trepidation, Shinji realised she was walking _beside _him, not just _next _to him. More worryingly, however, she occasionally bumped companionably into Shinji's side when she walked too close.

He knew that she was doing it on purpose, to tease him as much as anything _else_, but even so he found himself absurdly pleased that she was doing it.

Suddenly, the call came down the line, passed on by those in front of them: another halt had been ordered. Sighing, Shinji looked at Asuka expectantly, and she nodded wearily. "Yeah, let's go," she said somewhat unenthusiastically, and they were about to begin plodding off to search for survivors when they noticed that there was some sort of commotion up ahead.

There were about four hundred people in this column; the two UN soldiers had a stressful time of controlling proceedings, occasionally even resorting to threatening people with their guns. Shinji and Asuka noticed an odd thing, however… there seemed to be five soldiers now.

Squinting, Shinji nodded in understanding. "We've come to the rescue station," he confirmed.

"About time. All this walking was getting on my nerves," grumbled Asuka. "Come on, let's go and see if we can get something to eat."

"We ate just before. You shouldn't be so greedy. Other people…"

"Are you _dense? Other people will be thinking exactly the same thing, Shinji. Now come on."_

It wasn't much of a rescue station; nothing more than five or six huge, blue tents with UN printed in white all over them. A small group of soldiers were desperately trying to keep order, watching over the distribution of blankets and food for the writhing mass of people. Still, it looked infinitely more appealing than the auto-repair garage Shinji and Asuka had been spending their time in.

The newest arrivals all sensed that if they wanted help, they would have to behave, so everyone was soon seated or lying about amongst those people already there. There were several large pots – almost like cauldrons – in which some kind of meal was hastily being prepared, and blankets were not in short supply.

As the Second and Third Children wandered vaguely around the camp, they saw the two helicopters they had noticed earlier that day fly in from somewhere over the city. They did not land, but lowered wooden crates down to the waiting soldiers on the ground. More supplies.

Gazing around them, it was a sorry sight indeed. People were dirty, hungry and annoyed. Still, what else could they do but wait? Shinji and Asuka began to look for a place to sit.

Two figures steeped in shadow caught Shinji's eye at the same time Asuka noticed them. One was standing around, looking slightly nervous and more than a little worried. The other was seated next to the first, head bowed, knees pulled up to the chest.

Heart rates quickening, not daring to hope or speak, Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley Sohryu grabbed one another, each intending to show the other, as they jerkily pulled themselves towards the two figures.

The standing figure's gaze fell upon the Children staggering forwards, saw the expressions of shock and terrified hope on their faces and their mouths trying to shape words they could not speak. Feeling her heart leap into her chest, not taking her eyes off the pair, Maya Ibuki reached down and shook the other figure's shoulder furiously.

"Ma'am!" she shrieked.

The second figure wearily raised her battered face to see what Maya was yelling about and gasped when she saw the two Evangelion pilots coming towards her. They were holding each other, helping each other forwards, silent tears streaming down their faces, disbelief and joy etched on their features. Not believing her own eyes, the blood drained out of her face and her veins went cold. She tried to choke some words out but they were lost in the uncontrollable tears that overwhelmed her. She shakily raised herself to her feet and stared, wondering if this was some dark dream.

Shinji and Asuka were almost upon her.

"M… M… _Misato!" Shinji screamed in despair and joy. Asuka started to cry. Forgetting themselves, they hurled themselves towards the stunned, weeping woman in the red flight jacket, standing there limply, crying as she watched them approach._

"Sh… Shinji… Asuka…" Misato whispered as they flung themselves on her in desperate joy and despair, crying their hearts out, wrapping their trembling arms around her. Choking on her tears even harder, Misato Katsuragi pressed her face into the tops of the weeping heads of the Children, hugging them fiercely and with all her strength.

Shinji grasped Misato for all he was worth, sobbing his heart out. He had missed her, he had missed her so much, and to see her now, to see her alive… She had always been more to him than a guardian, and she meant worlds to him. He loved her like the mother he had lost. He wished, he wished he had been there for her when she needed him, but he had run away and hidden from a reality that hurt him. Not any more. As he felt Misato's trembling touch, as he smelled the familiar scent of her hair, Shinji Ikari vowed that he would never run away again.

"Misato you're all right oh thank God I'm so sorry for everything that's happened…" he choked out.

Asuka cried in shame and relief, weeping her soul out, her guilt rising to the fore as she remembered the horrible way that she had treated this woman. Ashamed for things that could not be unsaid, regret pounded in her heart as she realised just how much she despised that part of herself that had said those things to Misato. But words were not needed to convey her heart and Misato's hold swept the past away in a flood of tears. It was only now… it was only _right now that mattered. That had ever mattered._

"I'm sorry, Misato, I'm sorry I said those things I didn't mean them…" she wept, crying into Misato's shaking shoulder, arms around her neck.

And Misato Katsuragi, former NERV Major, forgot her pain and her weariness as she once again found the two people she cared more about than anyone else in the world. She had given her life to save Shinji and she would do it again for either of them without thinking twice. Through the hot tears, she found that her heart telling her that these two really were her children, because families are held together by love, not by blood and Misato loved them both more than anything.

"Oh God thank God you're all right I'm so glad I thought I wouldn't see you again Oh God I'm sorry for everything…" she whispered hoarsely through her endless tears.

The three of them cried together for a long time, arms wrapped around each other, rocking gently.

Standing nearby, Maya Ibuki wiped away her own tears and smiled in determination.

She was happy for them. God knows, they deserved this.

"I… I'm home," whispered Misato, clutching the two people she loved like her own children, stroking their hair as she held them to her.

"Welcome home," sobbed Shinji.

________________________________________________________________________

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Cliffhanger? What cliffhanger? Heh heh heh. Well, I hope you enjoyed the latest installment. Don't forget about the grubby figure that woke up on the beach, either… So, I was thinking about Asuka's mind-rape and I'll probably do it next chapter, in a conversation with Misato or something. If I'm too afraid of going OOC for someone, I just won't make them say much, like Maya. Don't worry, I'll study up on her. By the way, if anyone has some personal rules of how they write Misato, and you could give them to me, I'd really like that. If you have suggestions for the story, reviews, comments or whatever, I'd really appreciate it, as always. In particular I'd like some criticisms for this chapter… I don't know, I can't help thinking it's missing something. I think that's it… thanks for reading. Till next time.


	8. Thank You For Everything

If you really believe that I could possibly own GAINAX and Evangelion, I know a good psychologist that charges reasonable rates.

Hi one and all. I'm sure you're sick of me saying it, but a thank you goes out to all readers and reviewers. I wanna thank ST Pika in particular. We've been talking a fair bit and he helped me out with this chapter, more than he probably realises. His one email pretty much prompted the entire Misato/Asuka scene.

Sorry this one took so long to produce. There's a few reasons why, not least being that here in Oz every day for the past two weeks has been 30 degrees Celsius, minimum, getting up to 38. Not ideal weather for concentrating on writing a story. Plus I got Resident Evil on DVD. Plus I helped my old man do some painting. Plus I watched the Evangelion series again. Heh heh.

This is a looong one. Why? It's the last real chapter! After this there will be an epilogue set a little bit after all these events have taken place. Wafftastic. However, I don't think I'll let the dead rest easy, as I've been thinking about doing some one-shots set after All is Right With the World. I'll talk more about that next chapter, though.

Enough babbling, though… I hope you enjoy this one. Don't forget to review, pretty please!

Take it easy,

RENEGADE

ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD

07. Thank You for Everything

"Shinji… Asuka…" Misato wept. "Thank God you're all right. It's a miracle…"

She held them in her arms.

There was grief that night, but hope as well. When they had found Misato Katsuragi alive, Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley Sohryu had also found the proof that they both needed so desperately – the proof that everything would be all right.

Tears flowed in rivers and very few words were said. But that did not matter because so much more was conveyed than could have been spoken by words… and they were all three actually happy, just as they once had been.

When they had lived together, their home had been filled with laughter, teasing voices, pointless superiority arguments, whining and complaining… but most of all, the Katsuragi household had been filled with a sense of ease. There had been no NERV majors there, no Evangelion pilots, just three people and a warm water penguin.

There was Misato Katsuragi, the household slob who never really _did_ anything but drink beer, lie around in revealing clothes and tease her companions.

Then there was Asuka Langley Sohryu, the resident complainer whose solution to every problem was to plant her feet apart, put her hands on her hips, and yell angrily at it until it fixed itself out of sheer despair.

And finally, there was Shinji Ikari, the household male who did everything that needed doing. Which _was everything. He was also the butt of every joke, tease, flirt, command and complaint registered by his two female housemates._

Together, they were one of the strangest families Tokyo-3 would see. But while these times lasted, Misato, Asuka and Shinji would always feel comfortable and at ease. They felt at home.

Sadly, however, their home and their relationship slowly fell apart. Furious at her perceived inferiority to Shinji, Asuka became increasingly more hostile until she barely spoke to the other members of the household. Then Misato was unable to tell Shinji the truth about the Fourth Child and so she lost his trust in her. The death of Ryouji Kaji, a mentor to all three of them, was the final nail in the coffin.

Asuka's shame and hatred drove her to run away from everything. But she could not escape herself. Unable to find a shred of value within her own existence, unable to see any truth other than the one she created for herself, she lay herself down, utterly broken, in a rusty bathtub inside a ruined house, waiting to die. Waiting to join her mother in the hollow darkness of death.

Shinji's fear compelled him to escape to the melancholy music of his SDAT. Through it, he blocked out the sad world around him, lying on his bed in a sea of misery, until the terrible tragedies and loss he witnessed meant that this no longer worked. He, too, had run, finding comfort in the home of Kaworu Nagisa. Upon his friend's death, Shinji too had wanted nothing more than to give up, to go to sleep and never wake up again.

Misato tried to be a mother to Shinji and Asuka but just when she had begun to reach them she made a few terrible mistakes and that was when the alienation began. Then, with the death of her lover, she found that she no longer knew what to do and so, overcome with loneliness and grief she fled from reality, her responsibilities and her life, casting away all her links and bonds to bury herself in Kaji's obsessive search for the truth. She had found it… but all it had helped her to do was fall further away from the others.

They had fallen apart, destroyed themselves and thus destroyed each other. But SEELE's sacrament of rebirth had drawn them together once again, and all three of them had to understand that now there was nowhere to go but forwards. The past hurt, of course it did, and it probably always would. Memories of their parents, memories of their own personal trauma… Shinji, Asuka and Misato all had their own demons to fight.

That was their greatest tragedy: in the past, they fought on their own, because while each of them wanted the others, they did not know _how _to be close to them.

From the ashes of Instrumentality, though, they were all risen again and now forced together once more. And Shinji, Asuka and Misato wouldn't have it any other way.

Becoming one through Complementation was not the same as this because there was no bond, no connection, no respect, no trust…

…no love.

In Instrumentality, there just _was._

But here, in this 'world of pain' that Shinji had chosen, you could see, and you could feel, and you could experience.

The three of them cried and held each other.

_This_ was togetherness.

*          *            *

Maya Ibuki quietly retreated from the reunion of Major Katsuragi, Shinji and Asuka. She smiled gladly as she saw them clutching one another, pouring their hearts out. She had been just as glad as the Major when she had seen the two Children rushing tearfully towards them, but this moment belonged to the three of them, not to her.

They had seen such terrible things.

She sighed.

They had _all seen such terrible things._

Apologetically squeezing between the moving mass of bodies that made up the newest arrivals to the UN rescue camp, Maya tried to get in closer to one of the soldiers that were trying to keep order in a chaotic situation.

"Excuse me?" she called loudly over the angry, shouting voices around her. "_Excuse me_!"

There were two soldiers up ahead, yelling angrily at the crowd, who were closing in around them. Finally, they brandished their automatic guns in order to ward the mob off. Grudgingly but firmly – these soldiers looked _very_ stressed, understandably so – the crowd backed away and Maya was able to approach.

"Didn't you hear me?" the man yelled agitatedly in fluent Japanese, waving his rifle at her.

Maya hurriedly held her hands up. "Wait! I'm from NERV!" Seeing the suspicious soldier's hesitation, she quickly continued. "Lieutenant Ibuki. I just need some information from you."

The soldier relaxed a little, though he continued to glance nervously about. There were many angry glares still directed his way. "I can't help you… Lieutenant," he told her, backing away.

"Wait a moment! Can you just tell me if NERV is still operational? Who's in charge?"

"NERV is still running," the soldier said warily, still moving slowly away. "The Vice Commander has been found and detained. They say he's going to be court-martialed…"

"The Commander," Maya said softly to herself, and then to the soldier, "So who's in charge now?"

"Two Lieutenants have been left in charge," the soldier told her. "Until the UN takes full command. I don't know their names. That's all I know, so please leave me alone!"

Maya was left wondering as the soldier scuttled off. Two Lieutenants?

_Surely not…_

*          *            *

They had run out of tears and now they simply sat amongst the ruins, no words passing between them.

Asuka was the first to peel away from their embrace, as if she suddenly remembered who she was. She scooted across and seated herself on a rock. Cheeks burning, she mumbled, "It's good to see you again, Misato."

Misato just smiled, her own cheeks still wet. "You too… Asuka."

Shinji was sitting beside his guardian, a stupefied smile on his face, still looking slightly dazed. "I can't believe it… Misato, you're alive!"

She hugged him warmly in reply.

He touched her arm and looked at her battered figure in concern. She was bruised in many places, and he could see quite a few small cuts and abrasions through the tears in her clothing. "Misato… you're hurt! What happened? Are you all right!?"

"I'm fine," she smiled tiredly, giving his hand a squeeze. "I've just had a rough time of it, that's all. I… came back… north of here. There was no cover from the rain up there, so I tried to build a shelter, but… it collapsed."

"_On you?" Shinji gasped._

"Yes, I…" Misato paused and narrowed her eyes. "Hey, you're not laughing are you?"

"Of course not," Shinji said, shocked. A tight smile played over Misato's lips.

"I was just joking, Shinji."

Shinji turned pink. "Oh."

Misato turned to the silent redhead seated across from her. "Asuka," she said gently, "How've you been?"

Asuka snorted and vaguely indicated Shinji by waving her hand in his direction. "Well, this idiot's been hitting on me like crazy ever since we came back…"

Turning an even brighter red, Shinji spluttered, "What? I did not!"

"Ooh, Shinji!" Misato let out a hoarse giggle before turning and wrapping her arms around the squirming boy, ruffling her hands through his messy brown hair. "I didn't know you were so romantic!" She began nudging him in the ribs.

"But I… she…"

""Maybe I should have made a move a long time ago," Misato whispered conspiratorially in his ear as she winked and leered at him.

"_Misato!!"_

She pulled away, sat back, and laughed. "Aww, even Third Impact couldn't change you, could it?" Quick as a flash, she moved back in and engulfed him in yet another hug. "It's all right," she whispered. "I don't want you any other way."

Just as the redhead seated across from them started to look annoyed, Misato reached out a hand and yanked Asuka into the hug, making her squawk in alarm.

"Mmf… Hey!"

The two Children finally managed to disengage themselves from Misato's iron grip and fell back, gasping for air. The three of them sat staring at one another.

"Thank God I found you again," Misato said quietly.

Shinji suddenly remembered something. "Misato…" She turned to look at him. Normally at times like this Shinji's cheeks would be burning, his voice stammering. But this time he was sure of himself. His voice was still quiet, still unobtrusive, but it was certain, too. His blue eyes still had the slightly apologetic look they always had, but they were earnest, now, as well. And he didn't bow his head.

"Misato… I was holding this for you." He looked into her eyes and slipped off the white cross he was wearing around his neck. Misato's eyes went wide, her recognition registering.

He reached out and took her hand, placing the cross in her palm and closing her fingers around it.

"You said… when I found my answers, I should come back to you. I… I did."

Misato smiled warmly. "I told you I'd be here. I said I'd be waiting." She felt the weight of the square cross in her hand. The last time she had seen it, it had been stained with blood, _her blood… blood that Shinji had cleaned away because he _had_ to believe that she was coming back._

She gazed at him. "Thank you, Shinji." Now it was the Third Child's turn to smile. Misato continued quietly. "This… was the last thing that my father gave to me. He died a long time ago, so I didn't… see… him in Instrumentality, but… well, I guess I found some things out anyway."

Tracing the edges of the cross one last time, she closed her eyes as if remembering, pushed her hair back and firmly clasped it around her neck once more.

Misato Katsuragi took a deep breath.

_It… it's all right, daddy. It's all right. I'm not angry. Not any more._

Shinji returned the faint smile she gave him. "We should talk," Misato said quietly. "Just… talk. Not now, but later. All right?"

Brow furrowing in concern, Shinji was a little confused, but he quietly agreed. "Sure."

"I wasn't there for you when you needed me," Misato said quietly. "I betrayed your trust in me. I just want to talk so that maybe… well, maybe you can understand, Shinji."

"Okay, Misato," Shinji smiled. "I feel better… now. I… I saw my mother again."

Misato gazed at him before placing her arm around his shoulders. "I'm glad, Shinji."

"It was… as though everything was worthwhile," Shinji whispered, his head against the shoulder of Misato's flight jacket. "Just for that one moment. Asuka saw her mother, too…"

Asuka watched all this rather sadly as she realised she had never really been as close to Misato as Shinji had. The words between them had gotten too low for her to hear. Feeling a little uncomfortable when Misato put her arm around the Third Child, she began edging away, partly to give them some space, but mostly because she didn't want to see them like this.

Before she could get very far, however, Misato retrieved her arm, dropped Shinji's gaze and whipped around, reaching out a hand and grabbing Asuka's ear. The redhead bleated crossly and tried to squirm away, but Misato's gentle but firm grip did not allow her to move an inch.

"And you, young lady," the older woman mock scowled, "what's all this about you trying to steal my Shinji?"

From her position at arm's length, a struggling Asuka glared at Misato, but her guardian wasn't Shinji and it had no effect. In fact, she giggled. "Ooh, so it's _true?"_

"Knock it off, Misato! I'm not _you!"_

Now it was Misato's turn to look indignant. "And just what is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"I think you know very well what it means!"

Misato just laughed and released her. "Fair enough."

Asuka just grumbled incoherently and glared at a beet-red Shinji, daring him to speak.

*          *            *

Earlier that day, a shabby-looking figure had returned from the sea of LCL and collapsed into an exhausted, deep sleep. With him there had been someone much smaller, someone who now clutched obediently onto his hand. Together, the two of them gazed over the landscape.

"Uh… I guess we should go into the city."

The smaller figure nodded vigorously and needing no further prompting, the taller person moved in the direction of the charred buildings.

Once they had seen a United Nations helicopter flying overhead, swooping low and barely clearing the tops of the buildings' skeletons. Vaguely wondering what was going on, the figure tugged his companion's hand and together they continued on into the unbeating heart of town.

They were hungry, tired and scared.

But they were alive.

*          *            *

As the afternoon drew slowly onwards, the air grew cooler and the ruddy orange sun began its descent. Lilith's jagged blood streak still slashed across the darkening sky was a stark contrast to its surroundings, bright as ever.

When Asuka had wandered off into the crowd to see if she could scrounge up some more food, Misato Katsuragi had told Shinji that she had to go and speak to Maya. When his guardian asked him to come, Shinji politely declined, saying he'd rather wander about.

Misato smiled, knowing he was, for the first time, relieved about the presence of so many others around him. It was this that showed him that he had made the correct choice in Instrumentality. Misato went off alone on her quest to locate Maya.

She had intended to ask the younger woman if she had found anything out about NERV's current state from the nervous-eyed soldiers that were stalking through the area but the Lieutenant was nowhere to be found.

Misato sighed in exasperation as bodies pushed past her, shouts filling the air and an unpleasant, lingering odour of sweat and body odour pervaded the area. This place was a mess. Even in this turbulent time, when order and self-control should logically be number one on every living person's priority list, the all-too-common human characteristic of not giving a damn still pushed its way to the surface. 

"Maya!" she bellowed at the top of her lungs. Unsurprisingly, there was no response. Grumbling loudly, Misato wished (not for the first time) for her well-stocked beer fridge. Shinji had sadly told her that their apartment had been destroyed, though, and Misato dejectedly realised that there would be no beer for quite a while.

_Even so_, Misato smiled to herself, perking herself up, _it's good to be back_.

It was the first time she had actually said those words to herself.

Suddenly, amidst the writhing mass of humanity, a flash of scarlet caught her eye in the glare of the dying light. A large flash of scarlet, in fact… not knowing too many people with bright red hair or a red plugsuit, Misato changed course and headed out of the unwashed crowd to the rise where Asuka stood facing the first stage of sunset.

The sound of someone approaching broke Asuka out of her contemplation and she turned with her fist raised menacingly to drive them off. When she realised who it was, though, she relaxed from her habitually aggressive stance.

"Oh… hey, Misato."

"Hi, Asuka."

They stood side by side in the failing light, Asuka fidgeting slightly. Glancing sidelong at her, Misato understood that her charge was trying to work up the courage to say something to her. Since she did not often need to work up courage, Misato figured it was important and so stood there smiling slightly, patiently waiting for the redhead to speak.

"I…" Asuka began falteringly. "Misato… I had… I mean, towards the end… it was hard for me."

"I know, Asuka. You don't have to say anything."

"Why does everyone say that to me these days!?" Asuka suddenly and crossly burst out. "Whenever I try to apologise, it's always, _oh no Asuka, you don't have to say it_. Why? Do you think I'm afraid to say it?"

Misato suppressed a giggle at the fuming Second Child, who was currently glaring daggers at her. With some effort she kept a straight face and patted her companionably on the shoulder. "I'm sorry. Please, go on."

Asuka muttered hotly under her breath before turning away, suspiciously wondering if Misato was patronising her attempt at an apology. "I just wanted to say… I'm sorry, all right?" she told the Major sulkily.

Misato smiled at her, and Asuka took a deep, silent breath, forcing her volatile temper down. "I mean it, Misato," she said, more quietly. As she spoke the words, the guilt rose within her and she found herself unable to meet her guardian's gaze. In fact, Asuka's whole body turned away from Misato without her willing it to.

"I know I hurt you," Asuka went on, her head bowed and her voice barely above a whisper. "I just… I just…" Her shoulders started shaking. "I just _had_ to, Misato! I had to hate you, and I had to hate Shinji, and I had to hate _everyone!"_

Upset, Misato moved over and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Asuka…"

Not hearing her, Asuka could only clench her eyes shut as hideous memories rose to the surface her turbulent mind. Terrible memories of loss and defeat and violation and hatred and pain and fear and _death_…

"And… and I _had," Asuka snarled through her tear-rimmed eyes. "To hate __myself."_

She shook Misato's hand off. "I don't deserve to be forgiven, Misato," she hissed coldly. "I don't deserve anything. I don't deserve-"

"You don't deserve _this," Misato interrupted firmly. "Don't do this to yourself, Asuka. I don't care if you think you deserve it or not, I am forgiving you." She spun Asuka around and clutching her arms just above the elbows, stared into her tormented blue eyes. "I don't pity you," she whispered to the redhead. "_I_ __care for you."_

"I… I…" Asuka shook her head furiously, then clenched her eyes shut and pulled free of Misato's grasp. "I can't Misato!" she screamed, and collapsed onto her knees, wrapping her arms around her ears. "I can't let you say that! I… I…" She fell into a fit of sobbing but waved Misato back and scuttled a little further away when she tried to approach, concerned.

"I've lost so much protection," Asuka choked out, eyes still clamped shut. "Instrumentality threw everything away. I lost whatever protection I had against being hurt. I… I want you to care. But I just can't let you! I'm garbage, Misato! I treated you like shit, and now you say you_ care_ about me! _No!! I don't want that! I want you to __hate me!"_

Helpless, Misato could only look on, sadly keeping the distance Asuka wanted. "But why, Asuka?" she asked quietly.

"I told you! I don't deserve it! I hated and hurt you and everyone! I was low… I was lower than garbage, Misato! I… all the memories are coming… I… when I saw you again, Misato, it was like… the past… the past came with you… I…" the young girl snarled hatefully. "Go away, Misato! Don't care about me! I'm… I'm _scum_… That fucking Angel helped me find that out…" she choked out before collapsing onto her side.

"Asuka!" Misato shrieked, disturbed. This time, she did come rushing over, raising Asuka's limp body and cradling it like a baby. "I'm here…" she said, more calmly, stroking her red hair. "Let it go, Asuka…"

"I… can't…" whispered the tearful redhead. "I can … feel it… in me, again… I'd forgotten, but now… Oh God, it was cold… its fingers, its mind was cold… it took me…  away from myself… Oh, Misato… I want you… to hate me…"

"Ssh…" Misato soothed, rocking her.

"I was so dirty."

She burst into fresh tears and clutched at her guardian. "Misato!"

"I'm here, Asuka! Don't worry," she hugged the crying girl to her, fighting back her own tears. Asuka's experiences had been just as terrible as Shinji's; perhaps even worse… this girl's life, emotions and spirit had broken down around her as all sense of her self-worth shattered. "Don't worry, Asuka. Everything will be all right."

"It was _in me," Asuka wept. "I was helpless. It touched me, it __violated me… I hated it… oh God, it made me go back… to see everything… Mama… I don't want to die…"_

"You saw your mother, didn't you," Misato said softly, remembering Shinji's words earlier. "What did she say to you?"

"My mama…"

"What did she say to you, Asuka?"

"She said… she said… 'As long as you continue to believe and… try to understand… as long as you keep joy in your heart and hold true to hope… everything will be… all right.'"

"That's beautiful," Misato hushed.

"She said… Ich liebe dich."

Misato had known Asuka from when she herself had worked at NERV Germany, and so knew the basics of the language. "You see, Asuka?" she murmured. "She loves you, no matter what. So will I. So will Shinji."

Asuka had stopped sobbing and now lay limply in Misato's arms, her eyes closed. The older woman shifted and, standing up, she raised Asuka to her feet, where she stood with her arms dangling by her sides and her head bowed.

"I just don't know anything any more, Misato," whispered Asuka.

Facing the girl, Misato moved in closer and placed both hands on Asuka's shoulders. "Pilot Sohryu," she said firmly.

Asuka hesitantly raised her eyes to meet Misato's own. The Major clasped her hands to Asuka's face and moved hers in close. "You are Asuka Langley Sohryu, Second Child, Pilot of Evangelion Unit-02!" she said fiercely. "You were one of three people who _saved the world."_

Asuka blinked a few times and swallowed.

"You fought with _every last ounce of strength in your body," Misato urged, her eyes narrowing. "You __never gave up, Asuka. You _never _surrendered. You fought until the _very end _of _all things._ You __never rested. You were __never afraid. You __never accepted anything less than __victory, Asuka!"_

"I…" Asuka stammered.

"And you won, Asuka, you _won. You beat __nine Evas, single-handedly. You fought with honour, and with pride, and with courage. You are alive. You have beaten __all your enemies by succeeding with that." Misato paused. "Whether you allow yourself to be defeated by surrendering to their memory is a choice that you have to make."_

Asuka was shaking furiously. "No!" she bit out. "I…"

Misato's feral smile filled the young girl's vision. "This is _you_, Asuka. You _cannot_ lose. It is something that _you _just cannot do. You were never garbage. And you don't deserve to be hated. You least of all. You should be proud."

Misato released her hold on Asuka's face. There was a silence.

Asuka looked up.

"Thank you for everything, Misato," she murmured quietly. "For everything."

Misato smiled and drew her into a fierce hug. "It's been an honour," she replied. "Let's move forwards, Asuka. You, me and Shinji… we'll all move forwards together."

Asuka nodded with a small, but determined smile.

A picture of the fifteenth Angel came into her mind, the one that had raped her mind and brutally beaten her down until she was nothing more than a broken doll with a shattered mind.

Angrily, she cast the image aside, threw it away.

Together, she and Misato began to move away, turning back to the crumbling streets of their shattered city.

She took a deep breath. _There's no way I can lose, she assured herself._

Asuka Langley Sohryu swore to herself that she would prove it.

*          *            *

The tall, unkempt figure and his smaller companion moved through the streets for nearly an hour, picking their way over the rubble and weaving around the huge piles of debris. Every now and again, the taller figure would stop and speak a few words of comfort to the shorter. A few times, dark black shapes – helicopters – roared overhead, whipping up choking dust that stung their throats and eyes.

Both times, the UN choppers had been moving in a particular direction. Showing uncharacteristic foresight, the tall figure decided that that was the direction the two of them should head in. Since they had seen no-one else on the streets, he couldn't think of any other approach to take, and to be honest, he was relieved. For a while he had thought that the two of them were the only ones left.

And so their subdued journey continued, the tall figure attempting to make the best of it for the sake of the shorter one. There was still life behind those eyes, he decided. There was still a soft laugh every time he made a bad joke.

One more helicopter would thunder overhead, but this time the sound of its rotor blades did not fade, indicating it had landed nearby. Quickly moving forwards, the two of them rounded a crumbling corner and arrived at the outskirts of the UN rescue camp.

Tired and definitely hungry, the tall figure was no less surprised when he pushed his way through a few stooped, scowling figures who needed a wash and suddenly came face to face with the last person he had expected to see. Noticing the figure for the first time, the eyes of that person went as wide as saucers. They stared at one another for a moment.

"T… Touji?" gasped Shinji in disbelief.

The figure staggered a few more steps, raising his head. He gave Shinji a wan smile, filled with mental and physical exhaustion. "Uh… Oh, it's you, Shinji." Touji Suzahara laughed hoarsely as he leaned tiredly on a ruined wall. He glanced past his friend to someone who had just materialised into his vision. "And… you."

Asuka rose up indignantly. "Hey, dummkopf, my name is -"

"Oh, shut up," Touji retorted grumpily. "This is Mari, my sister…"

After spinning around in surprise to see Asuka, whom he hadn't known was there, Shinji quickly offered the girl a confused half smile when she grinned nervously at him.

"I'm… really tired," Touji murmured, just as his eyes rolled up into his head and he collapsed limply onto the ground.

"Hey… hey! Touji!" Shinji yelled in alarm, hurrying over. "Wake up!"

"Touji!" the little girl, Mari, cried in distress as she kneeled beside him. "What are you doing? Touji?"

Shinji had no idea what to do. He didn't want to slap Touji to try and wake him up – in fact the thought repulsed him. He fearfully looked all over his taller friend for some sign of what was wrong. "Asuka!" he called over his shoulder. "You've got to find help, quick! Where's Misato?"

Asuka, who had been standing off to one side torn between her recently rediscovered invincible pride and helping Stooge Suzahara, grudgingly moved over. "She saw Maya and went to talk to her." She knelt down.

"Hey, what are you -"

"Quiet, Third Child," Asuka ordered. She expertly pressed two fingers to Touji's neck, then wrist, then shifted herself until she was behind his head. She lifted it with her hands, resting it on her knees and glared dangerously at Shinji. "If you dare tell anyone about this, I swear I'll kill you."

Dumbly, Shinji nodded. "I didn't know you knew first aid."

Asuka shrugged nonchalantly. "Part of my Eva training in Germany. It's no big deal." She glanced over to the little girl who was fussing over her big brother. She looked close to tears. "It's all right," Asuka said gruffly. "Dumb jock just fainted, that's all."

She bent over and yelled in Touji's face in an angry voice. "Hey, dork, get off my lap!"

Touji groggily blinked his eyes. "Huh?"

Asuka glared furiously at him. "Get. Off. My. Lap."

Taking in his position for the first time, Touji suddenly thundered into wakefulness. "_What?" he yelled angrily. "What the hell am I doing on your lap?"_

"She put you there," Mari, now happy Touji was all right, supplied as she pointed at a glowering Asuka.

"_What!?" Touji spluttered, red faced. "What were you doing, trying to devour my soul? Why? Shinji…?"_

Shinji Ikari shrugged helplessly. "She… helped you."

Asuka and Touji glared uncomfortably at one another.

"Thanks," Touji said shortly, turning away.

"Anytime," Asuka muttered, doing the same.

Shinji felt it was time to try and diffuse the situation. "Hey… I'm glad you're all right, Touji."

"Yeah, that makes two of us," Touji grunted, absently stroking his sister's hair as she gleefully hung onto his leg. "Hey, I don't really know what happened to me… I mean, to _everyone… but you had something to do with it, didn't you Shinji?"_

Shinji turned away.

Touji grimaced and stalked up to Shinji, who glanced nervously up at the taller, stronger boy. Touji cracked his knuckles and a heavy scowl came over his stony features. "Well, Shinji…"

"Touji… I…"

Suddenly Touji laughed, grabbed him in a headlock and punched him playfully – but hard – in the shoulder. Shinji squawked. Giving his friend a good shake, Touji released him and slapped him on the back. "Glad to see you, Shinji."

Shinji wearily regained his senses and looked up into Touji's gleefully smirking face. "Urgh…" His mind registered something then, and his terrified gaze was drawn inexorably to Touji's left arm, then his leg.

"Your… your…"

Touji looked at Shinji strangely before understanding passed across his face. The last time Shinji had seen him, Touji's limbs had already been amputated. Touji himself had been more than a little surprised when he had woken up this morning next to Mari, all arms and legs present. He didn't really question it. Ignorance, as they say, is bliss. 

"Hey, forget about it," he said firmly. "I remember, okay? The nurses, or scientists or whatever told me about the auto-pilot plug they put in your Eva to make it go crazy."

Shinji said nothing, but found he was too ashamed to look Touji in the eye.

"Hey!" Touji bellowed, giving Shinji another shake. "Are you listening to me?"

"I'm sorry!" Shinji spouted desperately.

"Huh," Touji snorted, but a softer look came over his features. "They said you wouldn't fight. They said you wouldn't do anything until they helped me."

"I couldn't just… I mean… I didn't want to…"

"Thanks."

"Huh?" Shinji asked in confusion.

"Thanks, Shinji," Touji repeated with a half smile. "And don't feel bad about it. Though you could have come and visited me in the hospital."

"I know," Shinji muttered, his head bowed. "But I couldn't."

Touji narrowed his eyes. "Still just a kid, huh, Ikari," he sighed.

Shinji looked up, an annoyed look in his eyes. "Hey…!"

"Yeah, yeah, very nice," Asuka butted in suddenly, rolling her eyes and glaring at the two of them. "I hate to spoil the moment but I really cannot be bothered hanging around here listening to the ramblings of you two. Let's just leave it that you're forgiven for acting like a jerk, okay Shinji?"

Before either of them could say anything, Asuka was stamping off in the opposite direction leaving a surprised and slightly confused Third Child staring after her.

"What's the deal here, anyway?" Touji asked, forgetting his arch-enemy and hoisting a giggling Mari up into his arms as his cheeks flushed a little red from Shinji's curious glance. "What is this place?"

"It's a rescue station, set up by the UN," Shinji explained in his placid voice. "You're supposed to be able to get food and blankets and stuff here, but I don't think they're doing a very good job…"

Touji, however, hadn't heard any words after 'food'.

"Ah, this is more like it!" he smiled grimly, narrowing his eyes and rubbing his hands as he began to salivate.

"I'm hungry," declared Mari.

The two of them looked expectantly at Shinji, who in turn looked flustered. "Uh… well, you can go to the second tent… I think…"

"Well, come _on!" yelled Touji impatiently. "Show us what's on the menu, Shinji!"_

*          *            *

The food that the UN soldiers grudgingly provided was not what Touji had hoped, but it was sufficient. _More or less, the jock reflected sadly. __At least Mari is happy enough._

The little girl was smiling at him now, and Touji returned it as warmly as he could. Normally he was happy to cultivate his tough guy image but he had never been able to bring himself to use it with Mari around. Somehow, it just wasn't right.

"Touji!"

"Uh?" the boy turned in confusion at the female voice, Shinji spinning as well. Rushing towards him was a very familiar… well, _figure_.

Misato Katsuragi engulfed him in a huge hug that squeezed the breath out of him. Despite the fact that breathing was next to impossible, Touji was absurdly pleased as he tried to return the hug. Unfortunately, his arms were pinned by his sides.

"You're okay! Oh, I'm so glad," Misato gushed happily, ruffling the surprised Touji's hair. She drew back and examined him as a look of surprise came over her face as well. "Oh… you _are okay," she said, referring to Touji's reborn limbs._

"Uh… yeah," Touji wheezed, still feeling a little dizzy, though he tried to give her the adoring, puppy-dog eyes. "I'm really glad to see you, Miss Misato."

"And who is this little lady?" Misato smiled as Mari beamed at her. "I'm Misato. What's your name?"

"Mari!" squeaked the little girl cheerfully.

"Oh, well then I'm pleased to meet you, Mari," Misato said jovially as she shook her hand. 

Anxious to divert attention back to himself, Touji said, "Oh… er… Miss Misato, how are you feeling now that you've come back?"

"Oh, much better now," Misato winked. Leaning in suddenly, she planted a kiss on Touji's cheek. "It's good to have you back," she said cheekily as she spun away to join a horrified Asuka, who had been waiting nearby.

"_Misato!! How _could_ you! Oh my God, I've never seen something so disgusting! Of all the vile things you've done…"_

Asuka's dumbfounded voice faded into the crowd as she followed Misato away. As she wandered off, though, Misato glanced back over her shoulder and grinned. "Hey, are you guys coming?"

"Er… Touji?" Shinji ventured after a moment, tapping his friend on the shoulder. "Touji!"

"Whurg?" Suzahara blinked a few times, swayed precariously and almost lost his footing.

"Are… you all right?"

"Hey!" squawked Mari irritably as she kicked her big brother in the ankle a few times. "Wake up, dummy! I wanna go sit down!"

"Wha…? Sit… down?"

"Yeah! I'm tired!"

"Yeah," murmured Touji dreamily. "Sit…"

"Oh, come on!" Shinji said in exasperation when there was no reply. He gripped Touji's arm and led his statue-like friend through the throng of people, Mari close beside them.

*          *            *

Shinji, Asuka, Misato, Maya, Touji and Mari all sat around a small campfire that they had made as the sky grew darker and the moon rose above them upon a halo of silver light. Many other people had the same idea, and soon there were several small fires winking at one another through the darkness.

"So, does anyone know any songs?" Misato said dryly.

"Touji does! He sings in the shower -" exclaimed Mari, just as the older Suzahara clapped his hand over his sister's mouth with a scowl. He turned and glared at Asuka not-so-quietly snickering across from him.

Shinji and Misato both hid their own giggles successfully and Maya smiled widely at the young girl.

"So, Misato, what are you going to do when everything gets back to normal?" asked Asuka cheerfully, lounging back against a chunk of masonry.

"I dunno," Misato admitted with a smirk. "But… somehow I don't think the UN will be rebuilding NERV."

"I don't know what I'm going to do," admitted Maya soberly. "It's not like every business has three MAGI supercomputers they need operated."

"I guess we'll have to go into another line of work," said Misato with a wink. "I've always been interested in teaching…"

"But you're a Major, Miss Misato," Touji broke in. "Won't they be able to… ah… reposition… you? Or something?"

"Yeah, maybe. Being a Major, though, having a rank… it never really meant much to me. It was just a means to an end." The woman relaxed back in the same way as her female charge, unconsciously tilting her hand up, only to find there was no beer in it. "I don't really see the need to go back to the military. I've done everything I wanted to."

"What do you mean?" Asuka asked, curious.

Misato paused before continuing.

"You don't have to say if you don't want to, Misato," Touji quickly put in.

"Yes she does," Asuka said, glaring at him. Maya chose to remain quiet.

"Yeah, it's okay," Misato said, sending a sweet smile in Touji's direction. "I joined NERV because… well, I wanted to lay some ghosts to rest by beating the Angels. I guess I did that."

"With no small amount of help, of course," Asuka added airily.

"Of course," Misato grinned. "I told Shinji all this a while ago."

Asuka was slightly surprised, and also a little upset. "What? Why would you tell that idiot but not me?" she demanded loudly. "Shinji!"

Shinji, who had been lost in his own thoughts, was jolted back into reality with a start. "Uh?"

"Well… I guess I told Shinji because he asked," Misato admitted.

That was not something the redhead could answer. "Oh."

"What?" Shinji asked, confused.

"_Nothing," Asuka said exasperatedly. "We were talking about what we'd do when all this is over and done with."_

Shinji nodded slightly. "Oh… right."

Asuka frowned. "Is that all you can say, Third Child? What are _you_ going to do when the world gets its rear in gear and goes back to normal?"

Turning away, Shinji blushed slightly. "I… don't know."

"What? What kind of answer is that? Why do you always have to be so indecisive? I'm telling you…"

Misato listened to Asuka's ranting with a growing frown and asked herself if she had fed Asuka's ego perhaps a little too much…? She had hopefully dispelled some of Asuka's fears, but it seemed that she was now trying to assert her dominance once again. With no Evas to compete against Shinji any more, would Asuka look for other ways to prove her superiority?

Would she still _think like that? Even now?_

No, she realised suddenly. This is her way of proving that she's on top of things once again. By being a bitch, she added dryly. Well, that would have to change, but it was not something _she could help with. She helped when she could, but she was a Major, not a counselor. She guessed it was something that Asuka would have to work out herself, but that did not mean that Misato had to stand by and watch as Shinji took the verbal beating._

She stopped her musing when she realised that Asuka's fuming had just come to an end. Putting on her best predatory smile, Misato got a subdued Shinji's attention by winking at him. "I wouldn't worry about her too much, Shinji. It's probably just that time of the month…"

Asuka turned beet red. "What!? Misato, how _could_ you!?" Even Shinji and Maya looked a little shocked, but Touji burst out laughing.

"Serves you right, harpy!" he chortled, pointing a finger at her.

Grinding her teeth in anger, Asuka scanned the area for a hot coal to throw at his ugly, grinning mug, but when she couldn't find one she got up and stamped over, hand raised for a face-numbing slap.

"Oh, come on, Asuka, it was just a joke," Misato admonished.

"You're not going to let a little thing like that get under your skin, are you?" added Maya quickly.

"This _creep is laughing at me," Asuka said coldly, her hand poised and ready to strike._

"Are you going to do that in front of Mari?" Misato asked calmly. Mari yawned nearby, showing that she was not the least bit interested in what was going on. Misato winced, hoping the redhead hadn't seen it, and as luck would have it, she did not.

"All right," Asuka spat, eyes narrowed. "But this isn't the only score I have to settle with _you." She spun haughtily on her heel, subtly grinding Touji's foot painfully into the ground, before marching back to her spot by the fire._

Groaning inwardly, Shinji recalled that he had been the one to tell Asuka that Touji and Kensuke had been selling photos of her. Pushing this depressing thought aside, he studied Misato for a moment before plucking up the courage to speak.

"Misato…"

She stopped giggling at a purple Touji's expense and turned to the boy. "Yeah?"

"Did something happen?"

"Huh?"

"In… Instrumentality? Did something happen to you? You seem kind of… different."

"Different?" Misato frowned.

"I mean, happier," Shinji hurriedly corrected himself, blushing as he did so. "You seem… happier."

"I do?" A faint smile crept over Misato's features, a smile that Shinji did not see because his head was bowed. Asuka studied her suspiciously while Touji and Maya, who knew her from very limited viewpoints only, looked on in curiosity.

"Yeah… I… oh, it doesn't matter. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry, Shinji, now go on," Misato said firmly.

Looking flustered, Shinji continued. "Well, it's just that… before everything, you were…" here he looked ashamed. "Cold. You were so cold, Misato."

"I see."

"You didn't laugh any more, you didn't say much, and… well… I don't know, it wasn't like you…" Suddenly aware of the number of eyes on him, Shinji trailed off.

"Yeah, he's right," Asuka suddenly said with a frown. "What the hell happened to you, Misato?"

Still smiling, albeit a little sadly, Misato cast her eyes downwards. "I wasn't the only one who changed during that time," she reminded them. "We were all… troubled."

Shinji muttered, "Yeah… I…"

"But you're right, Shinji."

He looked up. "Huh?"

Misato leaned back and smiled at him. "I guess I have changed. Or maybe I changed back." She became serious. "Things happened to all of us towards the end. I wasn't any different. I know I became… cold. It was my way of dealing. I pushed all my emotions aside and buried myself in work. I ran away, too."

She raised her eyes and looked at Shinji and Asuka. "I hope you guys can forgive me for that."

Shinji nodded dumbly with a grateful smile, but Asuka tilted her head on the side skeptically. "Well… 'course you're forgiven, Misato, but do you really expect us to buy that? That you just changed overnight because you _decided _to?"

She leaned forwards. "What _really happened?" Asuka demanded suspiciously, eyes narrowing._

Misato smiled.

*          *            *

As Lilith died, red fluid pumped ceaselessly from the gash in her neck, making a trail across the whole sky, yet still a disturbing smile played across her lips. Misato floated in the nether that was Lilith's corpse. Swirling stars played across her soul and a ghostly wind carried her on an unseen current as her spirit form slowly materialised in the void.

A faint whisper came to her, unintelligible yet somehow… so clear. It manifested behind her. Misato knew _he was there, but somehow… somehow she was unable to turn and face him for fear… of what? Of rejection? No… it was fear of illusion._

"Hey, Katsuragi."

His voice was the same. Finally, she willed herself to turn and looked upon him, and instantly she knew that it _was him… not an illusion, or some trick of her pained mind of which she had been so terribly afraid._

Somehow, as she tentatively reached out to touch his chest, she knew that this was him. The same eyes. The same smell. The same soul.

"It's good to see you," Ryouji Kaji said with his usual sloppy smile, hands casually in his pockets.

"Oh… Kaji…" Misato gasped, feeling the sorrow well up in her soul, sorrow that she could not truly express because she had no eyes from which to cry but there was so much bottled up that she was afraid her heart would burst with sadness…

"You're… dead, Kaji…" she whispered accusingly. She looked away. "I had to accept that. I would rather have never seen you again, than seen you now and know nothing will ever change."

"Hey… come on now," he soothed calmly, drawing her into an embrace, where she clutched at his wrinkled shirt, a shirt that she knew didn't really exist but that was all right because this really was the dead Ryouji Kaji that had come back to her. Not in a hundred lifetimes had she expected to see him again…

"Kaji… Oh God, I'm so sorry…"

"For what?" he smiled. "You don't have to be sorry, Katsuragi. You've done nothing wrong."

"You _fool," she snarled miserably, her heart crying a million tears. "You had to… you just had to… go, didn't you? You finally stuck your nose in the wrong place… and…"_

"Yes," Kaji admitted apologetically. "I never did know when to stop. But I _am sorry that I left you. I think you could have used some support towards the end."_

"I needed you, Kaji," Misato whispered. "I needed you so much. Without you, I… I didn't know what I had to do… but I did the best I could…"

"You did more than enough," Kaji assured her softly. "And you did the right thing. I'm proud of you, Katsuragi. You finished what I could not. I just wish I could have been there when you truly needed me."

Misato just nodded. "What… what will you do now?"

"Yes, there isn't much time," Kaji said, a little sadly. Already the soul-tides were pulling them slowly apart. "I… have to stay here, Katsuragi."

"No!" Misato cried in terror, her worst fears and suspicions already realised. "You're here, now, Kaji! Can't you… come back?" Her voice dropped to a whisper. "With me?"

"You misunderstand," Kaji told her gently, but there was a reassuring tone to his voice. "Yes, I will. But not yet. I've been gone for a while, now, Misato… I almost couldn't come to see you at all."

"Please, Kaji, come back with me," Misato begged. "I need you _now_, Kaji." 

"No, I can't," he shook his ghostly head, but did not lose his confident smile. "One day, though, Katsuragi… when your home is rebuilt, when all this madness has returned to normal, keep an ear out for the doorbell. Because one day, you'll answer it, it'll be me standing there. I don't know when it will be, but thanks to Instrumentality I have a chance to come back, and I _will_ take it when it comes. I'll find you, don't worry," he chuckled.

Misato could only bow her head in defeat.

"But you have to leave, now, Katsuragi," Kaji urged as the stream of souls tried to pull them apart. They held onto one another's hands to remain together for just a few more moments. "This is _your_ chance."

"I want to stay here with you," Misato whispered.

"No. Shinji and Asuka are already back," Kaji told her. "Can't you feel their absence from here? Many people have gone. I don't want you to remain here."

"I'm so sick of that world," spat Misato. "Lies and hatred and lost dreams and broken hearts. That is all it is, Kaji."

"There are as many truths as there are people, but there is only one truth that is your own, Katsuragi." Kaji grinned at her and reaching out, he stroked her hair. "Your truth is what you make it. If you believe that life is nothing but pain, then that is what your life will be. But you and I both know that life is so much more than that, Katsuragi. Because of what we shared… together."

"But still…"

"You got my message, didn't you," he chuckled. "Do you remember what I said? I said that if I saw you again, I would say the words I could not say eight years ago."

Misato's eyes widened as he grasped her hand tighter, the only thing that was stopping them from drifting apart.

Kaji smiled serenely and gazed into her disbelieving eyes. "Misato…"

Those next words were for her. Just for her.

And then he let go.

*          *            *

"Misato?" Shinji asked curiously. "Misato? Are you all right?"

"Yeah," Misato said with a tiny smile. "Yeah, I'm all right."

"You still haven't answered the question," Asuka pointed out. "What made you change in Instrumentality?"

"I know," Misato said softly with a mysterious look in her eye. "I can't answer. Yet. But one day you'll find out."

Asuka growled, but bit back a further retort, settling for a simple, "Fine, keep it to yourself." She was still annoyed at all these secret talks Misato had been having with Shinji, and more than a little confused about the whole situation.

The others chatted idly for a few more minutes, Asuka successfully keeping her simmering temper hidden until the Third Child dared to address her.

"Hey, Asuka…" Shinji ventured.

"_What?" she snapped irritably._

Sensing that now was not a good time, Shinji backed down. "Oh… nothing, it doesn't matter."

Asuka valiantly tried to swallow her rapidly rising temper.

"That wasn't very nice, Asuka," Misato commented lazily.

"It was nice by her standards," Touji grunted dryly.

Asuka went red with fury. 'Oh, _shut up!" she yelled, causing people to turn from their own campfires and see what all the commotion was about. Maya looked away in embarrassment while Asuka continued ranting. The young Lieutenant was cradling a snoozing Mari in her arms and she gently covered her ears._

"The idiot's just babbling as usual! Did you really think that Shinji would actually have something important to say!?"

Shinji himself looked both hurt and stunned by Asuka's outburst and he quickly looked away when she whirled to face him. "All right, Third Child, let's hear what you have to say since it's just _so insightful!"_

"Asuka, I think you're overreacting…" Misato said carefully.

"He didn't do anything," Maya added uneasily.

The redhead ignored her. She leaned in angrily and planting her hands on her hips she glared expectantly at Shinji. "_Well_?"

"A… Asuka, it was nothing… really!" Shinji stammered, unsure of how to handle this awkward moment.

"Oh, really?" Asuka said sarcastically. "Well, since you've changed your mind, why don't you go and get me something to eat from those grunts over the hill there?"

Shinji didn't move, but sat frozen like a deer in a car's headlights.

"I'm waiting," Asuka snarled.

Finally, Shinji sighed heavily and slowly rose to his feet. "Do you want anything, Misato?" he asked tiredly. His guardian kindly shook her head. Maya did the same, and so did Touji, though he was, of course, a little more reluctant. Mari was still dozing.

Shinji slumped off in the direction of the UN provisions tent. "God, he is so pathetic when he's weak," sneered Asuka disgustedly at his retreating back as she spun around and plopped back down in her seat.

There was silence for a moment. Asuka sullenly picked up a burning stick and began poking the fire with narrowed eyes, waiting for Misato to sort out her 'chewing out' routine.__

"You know what your problem is?" To Asuka's almighty surprise, it was Suzahara who was addressing her, gazing at her with cold eyes. Sneaking a peek sideways showed Asuka that Misato was sitting with her head bowed sadly. She returned her disdainful expression back to the jock across from her.

"This should be good, coming from _you," the angry redhead scoffed. Touji pointedly ignored the insult._

"You're so full of yourself that you don't even know how to be decent, do you? You're just a twisted snake."

Asuka's mouth fell open. "How _dare you, you…"_

"_Shut up," Suzahara roared with such force that Asuka did so, if only out of surprise. Mari was used to her brother and barely even stirred._

"You'd rather just tell someone how useless they are than ask them what's wrong, wouldn't you?" Touji said in a disgusted voice, shaking his head. He glared at her a moment longer before turning away.

"Okay, so you don't care about him," he commented angrily. "Well, good. I'd say that's best for him. But there are easier ways to tell him. Geez, you really are a monster."

Asuka was stunned at the tall boy's accusations.

Confusion poured into the well of her mind like water, a mixture of conflicting emotions that struggled for dominance beneath the turbulent waves of her thoughts. Anger, shame, arrogance, regret, frustration, sadness all fought for her attention.

She opened and shut her mouth a few times, glanced sideways to Misato and Maya for support, but one look told her that she would not be getting it. Neither of them had said anything, but they sat rigidly still and refused to look her in the eye.

Standing there like a statue beside the campfire, Asuka felt her shoulders sag and her arms go limp.

How could she? How could she just get up in front of everyone and go to Shinji as if she cared? How could she surrender her pride, the one thing that had kept her alive for so long, that she had just rediscovered to _keep_ her going? Would she just throw it away again?

"He… he knows… that I…" she bit out hesitantly.

"Whatever," Touji interrupted irritably, with complete disinterest evident in his voice. He wasn't even paying attention to her.

"He… he knows…" she repeated to herself in a whisper, but felt a pang of sadness, guilt and regret within her. Over the last few days… she and Shinji had… found so much. As much as she hated admitting it… Asuka did not want to lose it again.

*          *            *

Touji, Maya and Misato watched Asuka's back retreating into the growing darkness. She had left without a word, but with a face that matched the colour of her hair and plugsuit.

"Nice work, Mr Suzahara," Maya smiled at him.

"Yeah, way to go!" Misato giggled. "I can't believe you actually got her to go! Although I don't know about the 'twisted snake' thing… or calling her a monster." Misato burst out laughing and hung her arm around the former Fourth Child's neck. Even Maya giggled.

"Uh… yeah." Touji was suddenly and acutely aware that he was in the presence of two very pretty ladies and flushed a deep red. _Don't say anything, don't do anything, you'll look like a dick… think of Hikari, think of Hikari, think of Hikari…_

*          *            *

Shinji was standing dejectedly in the long line outside the UN provisions tent. Up ahead, two people got into a brawl and began rolling around on the ground. The person in front of him was fat and very smelly and the person behind him was carrying a screaming baby.

Sighing heavily, he shut his eyes and called up his mother's words, words that had helped him survive the madness that was Instrumentality and what followed.

_After all, you are alive, and so you will always have the chance to be happy._

"I won't doubt you, Mother," Shinji murmured to himself, drawing strength from her as he always did. "I won't."

Suddenly, Shinji found himself being gently tugged out of line and away from the unwashed masses. Turning in surprise, he saw that it was Asuka standing before him, her face drained of anger and now wearing a mask of determination.

She took a deep breath, faced him fully and planted both hands on his shoulders. "I'm sorry, all right?" she said firmly, watching him with a steely gaze. "I was… wrong."

"Um… sure," Shinji said after an uncomfortable moment of silence. "Forget it, Asuka. It's all right."

She nodded, but neither of them smiled. Asuka released his shoulders.

"I didn't get your… um…" he began, half turning to indicate the UN tent.

"Forget it," Asuka said shortly.

Another silence.

Asuka's eyes went softer. An ashamed expression came over her face, her arms went limp and she bowed her head. "I'm really sorry, Shinji," she said quietly.

"It… doesn't matter, Asuka," he said gently, offering her a meek smile. "Really. Why were you so angry?"

All the girl could do was shrug helplessly. She slowly turned and paced a few steps away before flopping down on a grassy embankment, the remnants of a small curbside park. Shinji cautiously hurried alongside her and followed her example, slowly lowering himself to the ground beside her where he cast her a sidelong glance, waiting for her to continue.

Asuka let out a short, bitter laugh. "I've lost count of the number of times I've said sorry over the last few days."

"It wasn't… that many," Shinji offered, trying to be reassuring, then realising how that sounded. He mentally kicked himself. "Asuka… what's bothering you?"

"I don't know," she said flatly, turning away.

"I know that I'm no good at helping," Shinji continued in a pleading voice. "But… maybe it would help you if you… talked to me…"

"I can't."

"Asuka, I… I want to help you!"

"You don't have to worry about me," she muttered in a dull voice, pulling her knees up to her chest.

Shinji was fully turned towards her now, waiting for her to raise her head and look at him. "Asuka! Just… just open up to me! _Please_!" he pleaded as his voice rose. "Why won't you just _talk _to me!? I'll listen to you! I'll listen to anything you want to say! Just say _something! Just tell me what's wrong!"_

"I don't _know!" Asuka yelled, visibly upset as she jerked her head up to stare into his miserable face. "I don't know, Ikari! I just… I don't feel as though…"_

"Please… it's all right, Asuka. I… I want to… help."

"Don't give me your pity, Shinji," Asuka whispered bitterly.

"I _wasn't!" he almost screamed in frustration, balling his fists. "I want to do something because… because I… care about you!"_

She turned her head away, and he slumped. "You said… you said you cared," he bit out accusingly.

When Asuka Langley Sohryu turned to him again, he did not recognise her. Her eyes were a brilliant azure blue, the colour of sadness and tears, and all she could do was gaze at him miserably, as if all the fight had been drained out of her.

"I do care," she whispered so quietly he could barely hear her.

"Then what -"

"I'm confused!" she yelled at him suddenly in a shaking voice cracked by conflicting emotions. "All right? I'm confused. I've been alone for my whole life, Ikari, my _whole life!" She threw up her hands in frustration and cried, "And now I've been _forced _to understand that I don't _want to be_, okay? My only defense has been taken away, and… I don't know __what is underneath! What can I do? What can I __possibly do about that?"_

"Why, Asuka?" Shinji yelled miserably, furiously wiping away the moisture at the corners of his eyes. "Why do you do this to yourself?"

"Oh, _shut up!" she screamed at him as her eyes flared angrily, but even in that split second Shinji bore witness to the bottled up emotions within the temperamental girl. She suddenly grabbed him roughly by the lapels and stared into his sad face. "I don't understand anything, all right?" she hissed, and though she tried to force anger into her voice, it had none of its usual edge. Bowing her head, she gave in. "I don't know if I should even be doing this."_

Shinji blinked, not comprehending, and she drew back with a sigh, releasing him.

"We're different, Shinji. We're polar opposites. You're a spineless wimp and I'm an arrogant bitch."

Swallowing, Shinji recalled the terrible vision that had been visited upon him in Instrumentality, of Asuka and himself in Misato's kitchen, and the shattering rejection she had thrown at him.

_I want to help you Asuka, I want to be with you._

_Liar._

Unconsciously, the Third Child clenched and unclenched his hands as he tried to work up the courage to speak. "Don't… don't you want this, Asuka?" he whispered, terrified of the answer.

Asuka took a long while to respond, didn't budge an inch the whole time, didn't say a word, didn't meet his fearful eyes. Until, finally…

"I… I don't want to be alone any more," she choked out. "But… but I don't… know how…"

Miserably, she looked across to see to see silent tears rolling down Shinji's face. He didn't say a word but found that he could not take his gaze away from her. He opened his trembling lips and said, "I'm like you… I… a-all I know is how… to be alone, Asuka… b-but I do know… that we have… to change. If we want… if we want to be anything."

"I don't know how to change, Shinji," Asuka whispered, gazing at him.

To her astonishment, a sad smile came over his features, and tentatively, he reached over to lightly touch her bare right arm with the tips of his fingers. "Me neither, Asuka… But… but we can find out together, can't we? I mean, if you want."

They stared at each other, a stream of images rushing through their minds as their feelings and emotions swirled within them. Memories and thoughts intermingled and stormed to the fore as they remembered and recalled everything that had come between them, made them understand, forced them apart and drawn them together…

Thoughts of his silence…

Of her arrogance…

Of his weakness…

Of her hatred…

Of his cowardice…

Of her shame…

Of his depression…

Of her rage…

Of his submissiveness…

Of her contempt…

Of the fear that they both shared…

And finally…

Of what they _really thought._

Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley Sohryu blinked, both of them filled with a strange sense of calm and peace. "Together…?" Asuka repeated silently to herself. Then, she spoke out loud, "Can I ask you something first, Shinji?"

He nodded. His eyes had dried.

She hesitated for a moment. "Why me? What… do you see? What _could_ you see?"

He, too, paused a moment before replying. "I see… _you_,_ Asuka. Just you. I… know who you really are."_

"Then… _why?"_

Shinji raised his eyes to the darkening sky, the last rays of the sun peeping over the horizon, bathing the whole area in a ruddy red light. "Partly because I remember what… my mother said. But mostly… I just…" he looked down and glanced into her eyes for the briefest of seconds before lowering his gaze to the ground. "I… need you, Asuka." He said it honestly, with no stutter, no twitching in his hand, as if he were finally just _sick and tired_ of running away.

A simple admittance of the truth.

She pondered this for a moment, when Misato's words from earlier popped into her head.

_Let's move forwards, Asuka. You, me and Shinji… we'll all move forwards together._

A tiny smirk tugged at the corners of her mouth and she clambered to her feet, Shinji's quizzical eyes following her movements. "Yes," she said simply as she reached down with her hand. After a moment of considering her answer, he grasped it and they stood inches apart, the red glow of the sun behind them.

For once, they were able to look at each other without guilt, anger, regret or pain. Suddenly, Asuka smiled radiantly, the kind of smile that had not appeared on her face since she was a little child, and she laughed freely in the way that Shinji had come to adore over the last few days.

"Together then, Ikari."

He smiled, relieved, and nodded.

"But let's not try and change _too much," she added._

She moved in, then, and placed her arms around his neck, resting her head on his shoulder. If Shinji stiffened at her touch at first, he quickly relaxed into it and placed his hands around her slim waist, turning his head in the same direction as hers. Together they watched the remnants of the sunset, arms around one another, holding one another gently, unwilling to let go, neither of them alone any more.

They stayed like that for a long time.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: 23 pages. Long live all Shinji and Asuka romance fics. I would have liked to put in an entry to all these WAFF-a-thons and Christmas fic contests put up by Ryoma I keep reading about, but I don't know how to get the details. If someone could tell me about 'em, I'd be really grateful. Now, I feel I have to say something. I love Rei, just as much as I love Shinji and Asuka. I would have loved to write about her, but she was just such a tragic character that it would have been OOC to bring her back, I think. After all, all she ever wanted was a 'return to the nothingness'. In Instrumentality, Rei would finally be happy. And she deserves that, right? So, as much as it pains me to say it, she won't be back, because she wouldn't _want _to come back. Hmm. Well, I hope to see your reviews and Rei criticisms, and apart from that, well, I'll see you later…


	9. The Beginning

One More Final: Unfortunately, I don't own GAINAX or Evangelion. If I did, this is how it would end.

I'll save my ramblings till after this is over. I'll just say that this is intended as a lighthearted but hopefully realistic finale to the story, tying loose ends and just finishing it up. Enjoy.

ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD

08. The Beginning

Some time later:

"Come on, stupid! I don't have all day," yelled Asuka Langley Sohryu crossly, standing in the doorway of the apartment.

"Could you move, please?" wheezed Shinji Ikari, staggering under the weight of a very large, very heavy box with ASUKA scrawled all over it in German. "You're in the door."

"Hmm? Oh, yeah," Asuka graciously shifted aside and happily wandered off to her new bedroom, allowing the boy entry.

"Shiiin-jiii…" a paint-splattered Misato Katsuragi called sweetly as he tottered past her bedroom. "Can you get me another…" she savored the word, "beer, please?"

"Um… sure!" Shinji replied desperately. He looked for a place to put the Asuka's belongings amidst the chaotic mess of unopened boxes and jumbled furniture.

"Shinji! Come and give us a hand with this wardrobe," Kensuke called from the hallway. "Touji just dropped it on his foot and he's too busy swearing…"

"Er… hang on…"

"Hey, Ikari, what's taking so long?" demanded Asuka impatiently, momentarily poking her head around her bedroom doorway before returning to her unpacking.

"Ah… coming…"

"Hey, Shinji, what's taking so long?" Misato called disapprovingly, turning her blaring radio up even louder.

All Shinji could do was sigh. Mari thundered past him laughing, a white spot of paint on her nose and Misato's good-natured threats following her. He turned and was about to put Asuka's box down in front of her door when the little girl threw herself at the back of his legs.

"Help me, Shinji!" she squealed.

"Mari… I… _aah!" Shinji was pushed forwards and stubbed his toe on another box, tripping himself and falling bodily to the floor. Crashing down, the box he carried burst open and Asuka's clothes flew everywhere. Mari dashed off._

Asuka appeared in her doorway. "What are you…" she began, but stopped when she saw Shinji lying on his stomach on the floor, his face in amongst her clothes, groaning. "You _pervert_!" she screamed and booted him painfully up the rear end, making him bleat in dismay.

"Hey you guys!" Misato yelled loudly from across the apartment. "Keep it down! And I'd rather not destroy this place _just_ yet, if you don't mind!"

"It's not my fault!" Shinji and Asuka both shouted crossly.

Suddenly, there was a bump, the sound of something hitting the floor and an almighty bellow followed by an impressive string of brutal curses that made Asuka nod approvingly. Turning to the door of the apartment, they saw Touji hopping about with a purple face while Kensuke shook his head in disbelief, the wardrobe they had been carrying lying on the floor.

"You really can't do anything right, can you?" Kensuke commented, annoyed. "I mean, you just dropped this thing on your _other_ foot…"

"Rrrgh_Iknowthat!" Touji roared furiously as he tried to limp on both feet, glaring at his unmoved, sandy-haired friend, who was standing there calmly watching him._

"Hey!" Misato admonished. "I didn't ask you guys to help so that you could just stand around, you know!"

"Sorry, Miss Misato!" Kensuke quickly pushed his glasses up his nose and grabbed his end of the wardrobe again.

"We want to get this place looking nice for when _Hikari_ comes over, don't we Touji?" Misato continued shamelessly, giving the tall boy a devilish grin and knowing wink.

Kensuke smugly took a deep breath, about to unleash a torrent of smart remarks, but a wild-eyed glare from his taller friend convinced him otherwise. Muttering incoherently, Touji viciously grasped the wardrobe again.

"It's going to be a long day," sighed Asuka, leaning against the wall as the sound of the wardrobe hitting the ground came again, followed by another hideous stream of blasphemies.

Shinji glanced down the hallway where Kensuke was telling Touji that he still had another five fingers. "You can say that again." He frowned as his guardian sauntered past, humming. "Is it just me, or has Misato been painting very quickly?" he asked.

Asuka's eyes narrowed and she stamped over to the door of Misato's bedroom where she groaned. "Misato!" the redhead called exasperatedly. "You've missed about fifty spots in here!"

"Yeah, I know, I'll fix 'em later!" the former Major called back cheerfully as she began slapping paint on the walls of Asuka's bedroom.

The two teenagers looked at one another. 

"I wonder how she became NERV's Operations Director," said Shinji.

"The selection criteria must have been really weak," Asuka replied dryly.

Shinji looked about. The place was a mess. He could hear Misato whistling in the other room, Touji and Kensuke arguing in the background and Asuka grumbling at the incompetence she had to put up with.

_It feels good to be home, he smiled to himself._

*          *            *

Shinji, Asuka, Misato, Maya, Touji and Mari had lived in almost total squalor for a few weeks. The UN rescue camp was not the ideal place to live, and there was often dissent amongst the people there.

There was always just enough food to survive and not a crumb more. All of them lost weight. They managed one improvised shower or bath every four or five days as nobody wanted to wash in the LCL ocean.

Even amongst their little group there was tension. Arguments occasionally broke out, other times sullen silence pervaded their campfire at night. Still, they stuck together through it all and slowly things began to change.

More and more soldiers arrived, with more and more supplies. The UN was determined that Tokyo-3 should be assisted in every way possible, as for the past year the eyes of the entire world had been gazing squarely at the city and it stood as a reminder of man's defiance against the odds. Gradually, building equipment was shipped in and the survivors began the process of removing the debris and rubble in any way they could.

Then came the day that the group was called to NERV by Acting Commanders Hyuga and Aoba.

*          *            *

"What?" gasped Makoto Hyuga into the telephone. "They've _all_ been sighted alive? When? For God's sake, get them down here!"

Just half an hour later, in the crumbling yet still operational remnants of Central Dogma, Shigeru Aoba stood beside Hyuga in front of the gently humming MAGI supercomputers, squirming uncomfortably as their guests arrived at NERV headquarters.

Several Section 2 agents escorted the scruffy, ragged group through the remnants of the Geo-Front and into the dilapidated ruins of Central Dogma. The Acting Commanders went to meet them, feeling a little embarrassed about their new positions.

"Major Katsuragi," Hyuga greeted her with a smile, bowing respectfully. "I'm glad to see you're all right." He gasped in surprise when Misato beamed and unexpectedly hugged him warmly.

Cocking an eyebrow, Maya Ibuki approached the Acting Commander with the long hair, who was currently shuffling his feet and looking quite uncomfortable.

"Hello, Aoba," Maya said, rather coldly.

"Er… hi, Maya," Aoba answered cautiously with a hint of nervousness. As Hyuga stepped back Maya's face finally broke into a smile and the three deck bunnies shared a relieved embrace, laughing as the tension evaporated.

Hyuga and Aoba gladly, and with some relief, gave up their posts as Acting Commanders and as ranking officer, Misato assumed command. Not that there was much to do or even left to command; the UN would be arriving any day now to take control of the entire NERV organisation. Until then, they would remain here.

Shinji, Asuka and Touji were just glad that they had a better place to sleep for the time being.

*          *            *

Sure enough, the United Nations arrived and accepted command of the shattered NERV facility. All its resources and personnel were brought in under the UN's wing and assimilated, finally bringing the existence of NERV to an end.

For now, this meant very little to those who had worked there. Makoto Hyuga, Shigeru Aoba and Maya Ibuki were to remain and operate the MAGI until the three huge supercomputers could be shipped to a safer location. They would prove invaluable in the upcoming weeks.

Around the same time as all of this, the world began to piece its communications network back together.

Two and a half weeks after the group had relocated their home to NERV headquarters, the world's television networks went back on air, accompanied by several dry comments about the necessities of human existence.

The reborn world was, of course, anxiously demanding to know the details. Fortunately, with Hyuga, Aoba and now Misato's handling of the information left to them by Kouzou Fuyutsuki, along with temporary yet unconditional control of the world's media by the UN, they learned.

Across the globe, televisions would broadcast messages of hope and unity, proclaiming the truth about SEELE and Third Impact, the _real _truth this time. There was still conflict in parts of the world, wars that took advantage of the relative disorganisation and shifted priorities of the world powers, but luckily everyone in the UN recognised the _need for peace in such a time as this and moved swiftly to brutally quell these situations._

Vice Commander Kouzou Fuyutsuki's war tribunal was one of the first things aired on the television networks. The hearing was translated into several dozen languages and aired in every country on the world… but not for reasons people expected.

The Vice Commander sat with an air of quiet dignity as he listened to the charges against him. The world, hoping to see an enemy they could blame, was shocked to hear that there were not many charges at all – and all of them were exceedingly minor.

He was found guilty on three of the seven counts and sentenced to 'conditional house arrest, taking into account the unusual nature of the charges'.

There was an outcry. People shouted censorship and government manipulation in the streets. But then they heard what Professor Fuyutsuki had done.

Fuyutsuki had voluntarily surrendered all his total knowledge of NERV's accounts. Even if he was under arrest he was still technically the highest-ranking person in NERV. He donated every last cent of the organisation's massive savings to the UN.

Even the United Nations, who had been secretly manipulated by SEELE, had no idea of just how huge NERV's budget had been. NERV had enough money, of course, for Evas 00, 01, 02, 03 and 04, and each Evangelion had been a multi, _multi billion dollar investment. Then there was the fact that they had several branches around the world. _Then _there was the Geo-Front – almost the all the resources available to the human race had gone into NERV's (and previously Gehirn's) budgets for its construction, repair and upkeep._

After _that there was the __auxiliary budgets, as well…_

Knowledge of NERV's accounts then led to SEELE's accounts being ruthlessly hunted and tracked down. _Their _monetary value was even greater than NERV's. After all, they had easily constructed _nine mass-production Evangelions simultaneously and had _funded_ NERV._

Kouzou Fuyutsuki single-handedly saved the world from another economic disaster. As well as that, the identities of all twelve SEELE members were uncovered from all the new information. If they were ever to return from the LCL they would be spending their rebirth in a one-by-one-meter prison cell. The public outcry ended and the world developed a great respect for the aging man.

Being led from the tribunal building, Fuyutsuki told the microphones, "I only pray that I am redeemed in the eyes of God. I ask the world to forgive me."

When the true scale of Fuyutsuki's actions became apparent, he was exonerated of his remaining charges with the world's blessing.

He then left in a military helicopter to enjoy his retirement in Tokyo-2, his trademark amused, half smile on his face the whole time. With such a massive surge in funds, the UN immediately began the rebuilding process.

And if there is one thing human beings have always been good at, it is patching over their problems.

*          *            *

Misato's new apartment was built directly over the old one. After all, the plans and schematics for Tokyo-3, the 'perfect city', were still available, and as the saying goes – if it isn't broken, don't fix it. After all salvageable elements of the old NERV base had been rescued, all the rubble was bulldozed into the massive crater that had once been the Geo-Front and Tokyo-3 was rebuilt right from scratch. This time, however, there was never any mention of Eva sockets or armament buildings. Tokyo-3 would be a city, not a fortress.

Its people were glad.

The UN felt that Tokyo-3 had to stand as a symbol of mankind's unity and so it was the first city to be recreated, not quite a testament to its former glory, but standing proud and resolute nonetheless. Almost immediately after the building had begun, the UN handed the project over to Tokyo-3 officials and left. There were other cities, other countries that required attention. Thus, progress around the world was slow but implacable.

New houses were built and people moved in. Businesses opened. A few schools. Churches. Mankind was stubbornly refusing to accept anything other than a normal life.

Shinji, Asuka, Misato, Touji, Kensuke and Mari stood beaming in the living room of the apartment. After Asuka rather surprisingly had taken over a sulking Misato's task of painting, the place looked much better. It looked different to what it used to be… but it still looked like home.

Upon finding out that they would finally be moving, Asuka had loudly demanded a call to Germany. By now the Children were held in a state of awe by the most of the world, and that was fine with Asuka, because she could pretty much get her hands on whatever she wanted.

Her call was apparently successful, because soon a large number of items arrived via airmail from her old apartment at the (now non-existent) German NERV branch. The three of them had already salvaged what they could from the wreckage of their original apartment, a painful experience, but it wasn't much. Misato thought very highly of Asuka as she looked approvingly over the furniture that had arrived.

Back in the present, Misato stretched lazily. "I guess we should get this place cleaned up, then," she said brightly as she plonked herself on the couch beside Mari.

The others groaned as they looked around at the many beer cans, boxes, and other assorted garbage that now littered the floor. "Now now," smirked Misato. "You all promised to help, and I've been painting all day…"

Shinji, Touji and Kensuke delicately edged away from a trembling and heavily paint-stained Asuka, who looked like she was about to explode with rage.

Misato looked thoughtful for a moment, then shrugged. "Yeah, you're right, we'll only have to do it again later anyway," she grinned. "Shinji! Get on the phone. Order us in the best, tastiest, greasiest takeaway food in Tokyo-3!"

"The phone lines aren't connected in this area yet, Misato," Shinji reminded her as a sinking feeling settled in his stomach.

"Oh. Well, you'll just have to go out, then." She smiled happily, feeling a little tipsy from the vast amount of alcohol she had imbibed. Upon arriving at the new apartment, Misato had decided to give up drinking. Shinji and Asuka had been horrified and had made Hyuga buy a large carton of beer from a rebuilt supermarket. Upon its presentation, Asuka told Misato that if she hadn't finished them all by sundown, she was leaving.

"Yes, Misato," Shinji muttered darkly, stalking to the door.

"Wait up, I'll come," Asuka said unexpectedly. Shinji looked surprised, but then he smiled and nodded.

As the door slid shut behind them, Misato turned to Touji and Kensuke and leered drunkenly at them. "So, boys, it's just you and me for a while, huh?"

Touji and Kensuke stared at one another with wide eyes.

"For God's sake, say something!" hissed Kensuke frantically out of the corner of his mouth, backing off in a terrified daze.

All Touji could do was sweat.

*          *            *

"It'll be good to see Hikari again, won't it?" Asuka commented as she and Shinji wandered down the street. It was late afternoon, and the ever-present sound of construction would not stop for a while yet.

"Uh… yeah, of course," Shinji agreed after a moment.

Asuka glanced across. "You don't seem all that happy, Third Child."

"Oh no, it's not that," Shinji corrected himself hurriedly. "I just never really knew her as well as you, that's all."

"Well, did you tell Suzahara what I said?" Asuka asked sweetly, cocking her head and daintily clasping her hands behind her back.

"Er…"

"You did, didn't you?" Asuka asked again, a this time with a hint of menace in her voice.

"If you want to tell Touji that he'll die if he tries anything with her, go ahead," Shinji replied crossly. "I'm not going to."

Asuka laughed wickedly but it died instantly when Shinji said, "Maybe you should try worrying about Hikari making a move on _him_."

The redhead grumbled about low standards for a bit before they fell into a comfortable silence.

They eventually arrived at the only pizza place currently operating in this area of Tokyo-3. They chose pizza because it was the takeout that Misato liked the least, although that wasn't saying much. Asuka paid and Shinji picked up the warm boxes and they began the walk home.

Along the way, Shinji glanced sidelong at the redhead. During their time at the UN rescue camp there had been strained times between them, some of which had broken out into full-blown arguments. However, these occurrences had lessened considerably during their stay at NERV.

Oh, they had bickered. Of course they had. Ever since they first met, bickering had always been a staple in whatever relationship they had. Both of them secretly took a perverse pleasure in it, and didn't mind it a bit. It was one of the things that made them Shinji and Asuka.

"Are you happy, Asuka?" he asked eventually. She glanced across curiously.

"What do you mean?" she asked with a frown.

"I was… just wondering," Shinji said apologetically. "That's all."

She rolled her eyes with a smile. "Of course I'm happy, dummkopf. For the first time, I don't have a reason not to be. Why?" she asked with a sly smirk, spinning to face him fully. "Are you?"

He gave her a lopsided smile. "Yeah."

Asuka sighed in exasperation. "Is that it? 'Yeah'?"

"Well, what else do you want me to say?" snorted Shinji.

"_Why are you happy?" she demanded, grinning evilly._

"Why are _you happy?" he countered, refusing to back down._

"I asked you first, idiot," Asuka replied, annoyed.

"I guess you'll never know," he replied innocently.

"Oh well, then, neither will you," she remarked casually.

As they walked, they both continued to sneak suspicious glances at the other out of the corner of their eyes. And tried not to laugh.

*          *            *

"Hikari!" cried Asuka joyfully as she flung herself on the class rep.

"Asuka!" squealed her friend, engulfing her in a hug. Misato, Shinji, Kensuke and looked on smiling, while a seethingly jealous Touji scowled.

"Hello, Miss Katsuragi!" smiled Hikari.

"How are you, Hikari?" grinned Misato, giving the young girl a tight hug. "It's great to see you again.

"Mr Aida… Mr Ikari," gasped the class rep from the depths of Misato's embrace. She released her and Hikari smiled shyly. "Hello, Touji."

Relieved, Touji offered her a crooked smile. "Hey, class rep!"

Giving him one last smile, she turned back to Misato. "I have something for you, Miss Misato," she said, hefting a large, square box. "A housewarming gift."

"Ooh, how nice of you!" gushed Misato "What is it?" Before Hikari could stop her, she gave the box a good shake. From inside, there came an unmistakable and very familiar indignant squawk.

"Pen-Pen!!" shrieked Misato joyfully, tugging the squirming bird out of the box and squeezing him for all she was worth. "Oh, Pen-Pen! I'm so glad to see you again… _thank_ you, Hikari!"

"Thank God for small favours," murmured Shinji with a smile.

"Oh man, when it rains, it pours," sighed Asuka, but she was grinning as well.

"Well, let's eat!" beamed a still-tipsy Misato as she placed the exhausted penguin on the floor and rather unsteadily made her way to the table with some help from Shinji.

Touji and Hikari lingered behind for a moment.

"Misato told me that… you were better," Hikari murmured, reaching out and gently touching his arm.

"Yeah… I don't know how it happened, but… well, I can't say I really care either," Touji admitted.

"I'm… really glad you're all right," whispered Hikari, blushing and looking away.

"I'm sorry," Touji said quietly. "I should have told you… about the Eva. I didn't want you to worry."

She looked up at him shyly. "It's in the past," she said. "Let's just… make the most of what we have now."

Touji shifted nervously, looked at his feet and nodded in agreement through a blush of his own.

Hikari went up on tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek before quickly going even redder, turning and hurrying into the kitchen.

Stunned, Touji stood there for a moment longer, reaching up and touching the spot on his cheek where she had pressed her lips. After a few seconds his usual determined expression returned to his face. "No more screwups this time," he promised himself as he followed her in.

Pizza was devoured and Shinji was sent out for more. Beer was consumed and Misato began to sing. The Second and Third Children began an argument over whether Shinji was allowed to sit on the couch Asuka had received from Germany. Kensuke had so much cola he was wired for the entire night. Touji and Hikari secretly held hands for the first time. Pen-Pen knocked over the pyramid of beer and cola cans that had been building up.

As the evening grew and the light turned red from the fading sun, everyone got ready to depart.

"Are you sure you guys are okay to walk home?" Misato slurred, lounging back in her chair.

"Yes, ma'am," Kensuke said, saluting smartly. "Don't have a choice, anyway. My dad lost his car."

"Yeah, mine too," added Touji. "It's not too far."

"What about you, Hikari?" queried Misato, trying to focus on the slightly smiling girl. Shinji shifted in embarrassment and Asuka looked annoyed.

"I'll be all right, Miss Misato," Hikari assured her. "I'd stay longer but my sisters are probably getting hungry."

"You're walking her home, right?" Kensuke said loudly, nudging his taller friend in the ribs. His comment made Touji stiffen and both he and Hikari turn a slight shade of red.

"Ooh, you sly dog," Misato giggled drunkenly, trying to wink at the boy.

"Knock it off, Misato!" yelled Asuka, unable to take it any more. "And you, dummkopf," she narrowed her eyes, pointed a finger at Touji and snarled, "don't get _too cozy with __my friend or I swear I'll kill you, understand?"_

Touji shot her a deathly glare and opened his mouth to retort when Hikari pushed him out the door, Mari in tow, waving goodbye to Shinji, Asuka, and Misato.

"Well, goodbye, Miss Misato," Kensuke said with a low bow. He turned and with a grin, he slapped Shinji on the back, making him wince. "You take it easy, Ikari," he said. "I'll see you around." Finally, he grudgingly turned to Asuka. "Well -"

"Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out," the redhead interrupted sweetly, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall.

Kensuke left with a final nod to Shinji, muttering to himself.

*          *            *

Shinji Ikari stood at the large window at the front of the apartment as the sun set behind the half-built buildings. He could still hear the sounds of drills and electric saws. Misato had passed out and was snoring beside Pen-Pen on the couch behind him. Asuka was nowhere in sight.

He was glad they were here with him, ready to face the future. He knew Misato had become determined to get a teaching degree. Hyuga, Maya and Aoba had already begun work at the UN base, operating the MAGI just like they used to, albeit for different reasons.

Above him he could see the scarlet streak of Lilith's blood slashed across the sky, testament to the foolishness of a select few. It would always remain; perhaps humankind would take it as a reminder that their place is on Earth, not in a fabricated Heaven of their own design.

It was the same with the LCL ocean. The military had stationed special outposts along every beach that bordered it, in order to retrieve and treat anyone who suddenly appeared.

Not many people returned these days. Many souls preferred to remain as One. Many, who had experienced nothing but a life of hardship and pain, were happy as they now were. Some met lost loves and saw this existence as a kind of Heaven, where they could remain together literally forever. Others were afraid to go back. Still others hated who they were in the world and were happy to remain in this place, where they existed without existing.

A million choices, a million reasons for staying or going. Shinji fervently wished that _everyone he knew would come back. He wasn't naïve, though, not any more, and realised that it was probably wishful thinking._

Still, it made him slightly sad. He knew Misato was feeling a little guilty about Ritsuko. They all doubted the brilliant but troubled scientist would return. He knew his father would not. Kaji? Misato had finally told Asuka and himself about their meeting in Instrumentality and what he had said. The news that one day he would see the person who had been as close to a father as he had ever had made Shinji glad, of course.

But mostly he hoped for someone else.

"Maybe she'll come back, maybe she won't," Shinji murmured to himself. "If anyone deserved a chance at a normal life, it was her. All I can do is hope." He smiled faintly. "It's… not so hard for me, these days. If I was being honest… I think I'll see her again. I think she has the strength. She just has to find it."

"What are you mumbling about?" a familiar voice demanded loudly. Asuka stamped up behind him to look at him curiously.

"Nothing." He smiled crookedly. "Hey… er… you were right. It was good to see Hikari again."

"Well, yeah, especially if your name is Suzahara," Asuka snorted.

"You know… school's starting soon," Shinji commented.

"Yeah, I wonder how they'll act?" Asuka mused vaguely. "One thing's for sure, it won't be easy for your fellow Stooge," she grinned evilly. "I owe that dork big time for the photo thing. I just have to think of something for Aida."

Shinji sighed. "They'll just get you back again."

"They won't want to," Asuka snapped. "There's no way I'm going to lose a credibility war with those two jerks."

They stood side by side in silence for a while, gazing out over the city-wide construction site. Eventually, Shinji shifted. "Hey… Asuka?"

"What?"

"Could you… tell me something?"

"Maybe." She glanced at him suspiciously. "Maybe not. What is it?"

"I was… just wondering if you have any regrets," Shinji said in his quiet, mild voice.

"Huh?" Asuka asked, confused. "Why are you asking me now?"

"I don't know," the boy admitted softly. "It just seemed like the right time."

Asuka paused for a moment, considering. "Well…" she began slowly, then her brow creased. "Of _course_ I have regrets, Shinji. Looking back over the things I've seen and done, I have more regrets than I can count."

He laughed hoarsely. "Yeah… me too. You know, for a while, I… I thought that my life itself was a regret."

"But you don't think like that now, right?" Asuka asked in her direct way, eyebrows raised.

"No." Shinji paused and blinked a few times. "I… If there's one thing I've learned… from my life here, piloting Eva to fight, living with you and Misato, it's that… well, I never gained _anything _by running away."

Asuka continued to gaze at him.

"Things might not… always be great," Shinji admitted, "but as long as I can make it through the bad times, I understand now that things can always get better. A-and if I get hurt in the process, well, I think… I think I can accept that. After all, if you understand the hurt, you can better know the happiness.

"I might not be the strongest, or the smartest, or the greatest person in the world, Asuka, but I have to accept that, and so does everyone else. I am… who I am. Shinji Ikari. Nothing more and nothing less."

Asuka grinned reassuringly at her housemate and easily slid her arm around a startled Shinji's shoulders, leaning companionably into him. "I know who you are," she smiled, ruffling his hair and making him whine. "Probably more than I should," she added.

Shinji laughed shortly. "Yeah," he agreed. "But I… kind of know you, too."

"True," growled Asuka. She suddenly detached herself, smiling sweetly at him. "One way or the other though, it's good to be home, huh?"

"Yeah, I'm… glad you're… staying here," Shinji said awkwardly. "I mean… not going back… to Germany."

"Me too."

She turned to face him. He stood quite rigidly, staring out the window. She watched him, amused, for a few moments, before her impatience grew too much for her to bear.

"Mein Gott, Ikari, help me out here!" she said wryly with a half smile, rolling her eyes at the same time.

Slowly, he turned as well, glancing at her apprehensively. "Asuka… are you…"

"Don't worry," she whispered, with a smile.

Shinji's mind went into overload. _Asuka whispered…_

She beamed at him, that infinitely appealing Asuka smile he had never been able to resist, and her azure eyes sparkled mischievously as she spoke again. "Just don't say anything and it'll be all right."

He nodded tensely.

Asuka gently placed a hand on each of Shinji's shoulders and slowly leaned in, eyes closed. Shinji hesitated a moment, breathing shallowly, making the redhead smile faintly. "It still tickles," she whispered.

The memory made Shinji smile quietly, too. He hesitantly placed his hands lightly on her waist and closing his eyes in trepidation, leaned in to meet her.

For the second time in the turbulent, explosive history of Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley Sohryu, their lips met. And it would later prove to be that this time would mean more to either of them than they could ever explain.

Their experiences had left them older and wiser beyond their years, but although they may have lost much of their childhood innocence, they had gained a greater understanding of things they could not possibly have known otherwise.

Right now though, all Shinji could think of was how soft Asuka's lips were.

Asuka tightened her hold on his shoulders and he tried to respond by shifting his feet and moving in closer. Against the odds, both of them relaxed a little.

After a long and timeless moment, the kiss ended and they released one another. Shinji blinked in a surprised daze and he unsteadily tried to shake away the lightheaded feeling he had. Asuka grinned devilishly and punched him in the shoulder.

"I'm tired," she said, not dropping her smile. "I'm going to bed. I'll see you tomorrow, Third Child. And the next day. And every day after that. All right?"

"Wait," Shinji said softly, and took her hand.

They stood looking at one another, a deep-rooted admiration and respect evident on their smiling faces…

…and a whole lot more.

Holding one another's hands, the two of them gazed over their city, the city they had saved with their own blood and sacrifices countless times. They would never have to save it again. Together, they had fought and suffered _for and _with _one another and all mankind. They had seen Hell first hand._

But that was the past, and it didn't matter, and now both of them knew that. All the future was waiting out there.

Shinji took a deep breath and calmly looked into her eyes, searching for some final words. "Thank you, Asuka."

Asuka smirked as she moved in closer and rested her head on his shoulder. "Glad to be of service, Third Child."

And with that, Asuka Langley Sohryu laughed, and Shinji Ikari quickly joined in. Together, they shared one last hug and a final thought passed through both their minds.

_Yeah. All is right with the world._

THE END.

AUTHOR'S NOTES:  Well. I'm finished. I hope that you laughed, cried, nodded your heads, farted, or whatever, this was a good experience for me and really fun to write. It's my first story at FFN and I've found the Eva community here to be extremely supportive and I hold a great respect for all of you. I thank you.

Kay. Next I'm going to stick up 2 originals I wrote a while ago, they're Action / Adventure, so if you like that sort of thing, you might like to have a look, otherwise… um… I wouldn't bother. I'm trying my hand at an Eva humour piece, so keep an eye out for it. It'll be a first time for me, so I can only _hope_ it'll be funny, but don't worry, I'll have ALL my excuses when I post it.

Oh yeah, I said I'd talk about the one-shots. I _do_ want to do them, but I really don't have great ideas at the moment. I'd make them a kind of 'day in the life' stories, I suppose, with twists and turns. I read 'The Entry Plug Trilogy' where the crew gets kidnapped by SEELE, and I'm thinking of doing something similar but with a more 'everyday' kind of kidnapping. You know, the 'give uz tha money or tha kids get it' type. But if anyone feels an irrepressible urge to do anything with this fic, be my guest but email me first. I won't say no to anything, but I'd like to know out of fascination more than anything.

I submitted AIRWTW to Evafics.org. It's being processed as we speak. I don't know how to post to Darkscribes.org, or I'd try it there as well. Otherwise, I don't really know any fanfiction sites that are regularly updated.

Anyway, it's been fun. Thanks to ST Pika, you're a legend, thanks to Autophage (because your comments are what gets me out of bed in the afternoon) and thanks to all my regular readers and reviewers.

Ladies and gentlemen… thank you, and goodnight.

RENEGADE

renegade_y2j@hotmail.com


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